DEAR NATALIE: My fiancé has been spending a bit too much time with AI lately. He talks about this bot as if it is a real woman. He brings it up in conversation and asks me what I think of things it said. I actually caught him laughing the other day and said, “What is so funny?” His reply? “Oh, Lila (I changed its name) said something funny.” I told him that Lila wasn’t real. We got into a big argument. He said “she” listens better than I do. I have no idea what I am supposed to do. We are getting married next spring and if this bot keeps taking my place, then what am I here for? I told him that he needs therapy. He won’t go. Does he even care if I stay or leave? –CHEATING WITH A BOT
DEAR CHEATING WITH A BOT: Between this and the letters I receive about men’s porn addiction, it seems as though the internet is ruining romance and meaningful relationships. Lila isn’t fulfilling your fiancé’s emotional needs. Lila is reflecting back whatever he wants to hear so that he will keep engaging with it. It sounds as though you are trying to intervene, but what he needs is a harsh wake-up call. I would tell him that unless he wants to end up alone, he needs to cool it with the AI. If he can’t do that, you should call off the wedding. Normally, I am not one for ultimatums, but this is absolutely ridiculous. “Lila” won’t keep his bed warm at night or be there to lean on when he’s having a bad day, or belly laugh with him over his favorite comfort shows. It has its place for when some people may feel lonely, but it should not replace meaningful and complex human relationships. If he can’t handle a real person, you need to move on.
DEAR NATALIE: I went on a date with someone I thought was just an overzealous “foodie” but he turned out to be an “influencer” who has a large Instagram following. The entire dinner was so embarrassing. He took me to a great restaurant, but proceeded to bring a ring light and asked me to help him film while we ate. I started making jokes about the absurdity of dating in 2025. He became offended and told me how this is his livelihood. But I had no idea that I was walking in on a date that was actually a content session. He wants to go out again after I apologized but I’m not sure. He seems nice but I don’t think I’m made for this kind of stuff. What should I do? Free meals are a definite perk, I will admit! –HUNGRY FOR LOVE
DEAR HUNGRY FOR LOVE: It sounds as though you were not expecting dinner AND a show. But I am also picking up that you seemed to have a little fun – maybe? He should have warned you that he was going to film content. Actually, he should not have done that at all on the date. I wonder if he did it in order to get the free meal because it was a first date? Perhaps he thought if the date’s a bust, at least money wasn’t wasted. Who knows. Clearly, you need to have a conversation and set up some healthy boundaries for next time. He shouldn’t be taking women out on “dates” that are just excuses for getting content for his reels. It’s not a good look, to say the least. If he won’t budge on this point, then try doing something other than going out to dinner to see if there is actual chemistry. You need a walk and talk to figure this out before you bother investing any more time into this situation.
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