DEAR NATALIE: I just learned that my aunt (who is in her mid-40s) has a popular OnlyFans account. I found out because my boyfriend has one and he saw my aunt. Now we are both freaked out. Isn’t she too old to be doing something like this? Should I tell her that I know? Should I tell my mom that her sister is making money from OnlyFans? I’m not sure what to do. I think the whole thing is really weird.
– NOT A FAN
DEAR NOT A FAN: The first thing I wanted to know when I read your letter was, why does your boyfriend have an account? Does that concern you? And as far as your aunt goes, stay out of her business – and her account. She’s old enough to do as she pleases. Your mom doesn’t need to know any of this, either. Then again, who knows? Maybe your aunt already told her, and if so, that’s between them. The real question is: Are you old enough to accept her choices or are you still in that stage of life where you think policing other people’s lives gives you a sense of superiority?
DEAR NATALIE: My mom has been following me on TikTok recently and she didn’t realize that a lot of my content is about difficult mother-daughter relationships. I pull from my experiences with her and have grown quite a following. We haven’t had a great relationship for a long time, but now it is getting worse because she keeps going on my posts and “defending” herself. Should I talk to her about this? Whenever we see each other in person, she never brings it up. Should I block her? Not sure what to do but it proves my point of needing therapy. – MAYBE BLOCK MOM
DEAR MAYBE BLOCK MOM: I don’t know exactly what is going on between you and your mom, but if she has resorted to leaving messages on your videos, then clearly there are things that have been left unsaid between you. I would block her because it is obvious that you don’t want her looking at what you post. But you do need to talk to her about the fact that you know she has been leaving comments on your posts and that you want to clear the air about that. Expect her to be defensive about it (wouldn’t you be?) but also set clear boundaries. A fresh start is always possible, but she has to be willing to do her part, as well. If she becomes verbally abusive, you can always end the conversation. I hope in time you are both able to find some sense of peace with where your relationship lands.
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