DEAR NATALIE: I hate my engagement ring. My fiancé didn’t listen to anything I said. I wanted a certain style, carat size and metal. It’s like he didn’t even care about what I wanted. It’s just awful. I don’t know what he was thinking or who helped him. Worse yet, he was so excited and proud to show it to me. I feel terrible, but how can I wear this ugly piece of jewelry for the rest of my life? I don’t get why he didn’t look at the photos I had shared with him. What should I do? I worry that if I tell him the truth, it will break his heart. But why should I have to wear a piece of jewelry I hate forever? Send help. – TAKE IT BACK

DEAR TAKE IT BACK: Someone is going to be unhappy in this situation no matter what, but if you can’t express your feelings to him about the ring now, then I worry about how difficult it will be to share your emotions when things get tough in life. You have to be able to communicate. Use this situation as a way to strengthen your relationship. Tell him as nicely as you can that this ring just isn’t what you expected and that you had been hoping for something more similar to the designs that you had shared. See what he says. He will probably be defensive and upset. Be prepared for that. If you can work through this and end up with a ring that you both feel good about, you are only setting yourself up for future success. But if you say nothing, staring at that ring every day will only be a reminder that you can’t be honest with the person you are tethering yourself to. Is that how you want to start your marriage?

DEAR NATALIE: My wife is a federal employee and was recently laid off because of the federal funding cuts. She is livid – and rightfully so. She has been organizing with local activists to engage with protests around the importance of science. I am fine with all of this and proud of her for standing up for herself and her colleagues. My family, however, all voted for Trump and she has not been shy about telling them about the impact their decision has made on her livelihood. My dad told her to “get over it” and “find another job” at a family dinner the other night. She flipped out and left the event. I followed her, of course, but now she is saying that she no longer wants to see my family. We are a very tight-knit group. While I don’t agree with them politically, I can’t just turn my back on them. What do you think I should do? It is putting a huge strain on my marriage and I love my wife. – FAMILY OR WIFE FIRST

DEAR FAMILY OR WIFE FIRST: Stand with your wife. You chose her, you married her, you took vows to honor her. She is in a bad place because of the choices other people have made and needs your support more than ever.  If your dad can’t even extend her some compassion after she loses her job, then what exactly are you holding on to? You don’t have to cut them off completely. But you do need to take a step back for a while. You can still talk to them on the phone or drop by on your own from time to time to visit, but prioritizing your family over your wife is a recipe for disaster. Actions have consequences. Let them feel the weight of that and show her that you are on her team.   

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Watch her NEW show with WQED: “Destination with Natalie” Bencivenga now streaming on YouTube.

Watch her video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Week in Focus: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

Subscribe to her newsletter on Substack: Facts Over Fear

DEAR NATALIE: My friend’s husband slid into my DMs the other night and was extremely flirty with me. He was commenting on my body and saying how hot I was. He was explaining to me that his wife (my friend) isn’t “fun” anymore since they had kids. I was so taken aback, and I told him that he can’t talk to me like this because it could really hurt his wife. I also screenshot the messages, but deleted our thread. He then followed up and told me that he is really lonely and to disregard what he wrote. He told me he deleted it. I didn’t tell him I had receipts. 

I am not sure what to do. My mom thinks I should show the messages to my girlfriend, but what good would that do? I worry she will just be angry with me. Should I keep the messages in case? Should I tell her? What if I hold onto the information and tell her later and then she is mad I didn’t tell her sooner? What should I do? – KEEP THE SCREENSHOTS

DEAR KEEP THE SCREENSHOTS: If you have those screen shots on your phone and don’t share them with your friend, then it looks as though you are holding back information for a reason. Tell her husband that if he doesn’t fess up to what he did, then you will have no choice but to tell her the truth – and that you have proof from the text thread. He put you in a terrible position. She deserves to know what he is saying behind her back because if he’s bold enough to DM one of her friends through social media, then what is he sending women that she doesn’t know?

DEAR NATALIE: My daughter is eight-years-old and she wants to start having sleepovers with her friends. I have no issue with her friends sleeping here, but my husband and I decided that we don’t want her sleeping at other people’s homes simply because we don’t trust men or boys. Well, one of her friends in her summer camp wanted her to sleep over and I told her no. I said she could spend the afternoon there but would have to be home after dinner time. She was upset and her friend’s mother called me. I told her friend’s mother that it’s just a family rule. When she pressed me as to why, I told her. She was incredibly offended and said that there were no “predators” in her home. I explained that it wasn’t personal, at all, and that this was just a family decision that we felt was best for everyone involved. Now her friend isn’t allowed to come to our house. And so my daughter is angry with us again. Was I wrong to set such a firm boundary? We only want her to be safe. – CONCERNED PARENTS

DEAR CONCERNED PARENTS: You have every right to decide when and if your daughter can sleep at another family’s home. Her friend’s mother may not like the answer, but like you said, it isn’t personal. I don’t blame you for setting boundaries that you feel are right for your family. They may not agree with your parenting style or feel offended, but that’s not your problem. You didn’t do anything wrong and she did ask. It’s not her fault that she just didn’t like the answer. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Watch her NEW show with WQED: “Destination with Natalie” Bencivenga now streaming on YouTube.

Watch her video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Week in Focus: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

Subscribe to her newsletter on Substack: Facts Over Fear

DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend of six years and I are going on vacation this fall to Italy. I have told him in no uncertain terms that I better leave Italy with a ring. He is constantly telling me that he doesn’t want to be “pushed” into marriage. But we have two kids together and own a home. What is the holdup? Should I give him an ultimatum? I love him and don’t want to leave him, but don’t I deserve a ring? – RINGLESS AND ANNOYED

DEAR RINGLESS AND ANNOYED: Six years, one house and two kids later…I would say you are as committed as they come. I don’t know what is holding him up, but I have never been a fan of ultimatums, as they often backfire. Is he afraid of marriage for some reason? Was he divorced and now doesn’t want to rock the boat? Is he just satisfied with how things are now and sees no reason to be married? If anything, there are solid legal reasons for getting, as unromantic as that sounds. Perhaps try that approach next. But I would let this slide until after Italy. He may actually be trying to surprise you and all your questions could be making him anxious. If you don’t have a ring by 2026, then see what is going on. Perhaps a couples’ session with a therapist can help you both navigate these waters. Until then, see what happens in one of the most romantic places on Earth! 

DEAR NATALIE: My wife and I have been married for about 17 years and she is the love of my life. The last few years, however, have been very challenging, as I have become disabled due to long Covid. She has had to pick up more of the financial slack as my job was incredibly physically demanding and I no longer can do that work. I feel her pulling away and I am not sure what to do? I don’t know how I would survive without her and she is an incredible mother and wife. I want to do more, but I just don’t know what that is. Any advice? – DEPRESSED AND DOWN DEAR DEPRESSED AND DOWN: I am so sorry to hear that you are having health complications that have caused you to leave your job. There are millions of Americans struggling with long Covid and so many people are afraid to talk about it because there is such a stigma. We have a lack of social safety nets, which also makes the burden worse on people. Your wife may also be struggling with anxiety and fear over your health, as well, as there are so little treatments or medical supports for long Covid. Have you tried telling her how you feel? Does she know how much this is weighing on you? Are you able to get away for a night or even have a little staycation to reconnect with one another emotionally and physically? If you have family that can watch your kids for an evening, or even a friend that can take them for a few hours, it may free up some bandwidth for you to reconnect. What are you able to do for her or for the household? Are there chores, like light housework or meal prep that you can help with? Are there things you can do to ease her mental workload, like keep track of family appointments or schedules? Whatever you are capable of doing, sit down with her and work through it. Being present with each other may help you both reclaim some sense of your relationship, mourn what was, and work towards building something new that you can cherish. Good luck to you.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Watch her weekly video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Week in Focus: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

Subscribe to her newsletter on Substack: Facts Over Fear