DEAR NATALIE: My friend’s husband slid into my DMs the other night and was extremely flirty with me. He was commenting on my body and saying how hot I was. He was explaining to me that his wife (my friend) isn’t “fun” anymore since they had kids. I was so taken aback, and I told him that he can’t talk to me like this because it could really hurt his wife. I also screenshot the messages, but deleted our thread. He then followed up and told me that he is really lonely and to disregard what he wrote. He told me he deleted it. I didn’t tell him I had receipts. 

I am not sure what to do. My mom thinks I should show the messages to my girlfriend, but what good would that do? I worry she will just be angry with me. Should I keep the messages in case? Should I tell her? What if I hold onto the information and tell her later and then she is mad I didn’t tell her sooner? What should I do? – KEEP THE SCREENSHOTS

DEAR KEEP THE SCREENSHOTS: If you have those screen shots on your phone and don’t share them with your friend, then it looks as though you are holding back information for a reason. Tell her husband that if he doesn’t fess up to what he did, then you will have no choice but to tell her the truth – and that you have proof from the text thread. He put you in a terrible position. She deserves to know what he is saying behind her back because if he’s bold enough to DM one of her friends through social media, then what is he sending women that she doesn’t know?

DEAR NATALIE: My daughter is eight-years-old and she wants to start having sleepovers with her friends. I have no issue with her friends sleeping here, but my husband and I decided that we don’t want her sleeping at other people’s homes simply because we don’t trust men or boys. Well, one of her friends in her summer camp wanted her to sleep over and I told her no. I said she could spend the afternoon there but would have to be home after dinner time. She was upset and her friend’s mother called me. I told her friend’s mother that it’s just a family rule. When she pressed me as to why, I told her. She was incredibly offended and said that there were no “predators” in her home. I explained that it wasn’t personal, at all, and that this was just a family decision that we felt was best for everyone involved. Now her friend isn’t allowed to come to our house. And so my daughter is angry with us again. Was I wrong to set such a firm boundary? We only want her to be safe. – CONCERNED PARENTS

DEAR CONCERNED PARENTS: You have every right to decide when and if your daughter can sleep at another family’s home. Her friend’s mother may not like the answer, but like you said, it isn’t personal. I don’t blame you for setting boundaries that you feel are right for your family. They may not agree with your parenting style or feel offended, but that’s not your problem. You didn’t do anything wrong and she did ask. It’s not her fault that she just didn’t like the answer. 

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Watch her NEW show with WQED: “Destination with Natalie” Bencivenga now streaming on YouTube.

Watch her video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Week in Focus: www.penncapital-star.com

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DEAR NATALIE: My boyfriend of six years and I are going on vacation this fall to Italy. I have told him in no uncertain terms that I better leave Italy with a ring. He is constantly telling me that he doesn’t want to be “pushed” into marriage. But we have two kids together and own a home. What is the holdup? Should I give him an ultimatum? I love him and don’t want to leave him, but don’t I deserve a ring? – RINGLESS AND ANNOYED

DEAR RINGLESS AND ANNOYED: Six years, one house and two kids later…I would say you are as committed as they come. I don’t know what is holding him up, but I have never been a fan of ultimatums, as they often backfire. Is he afraid of marriage for some reason? Was he divorced and now doesn’t want to rock the boat? Is he just satisfied with how things are now and sees no reason to be married? If anything, there are solid legal reasons for getting, as unromantic as that sounds. Perhaps try that approach next. But I would let this slide until after Italy. He may actually be trying to surprise you and all your questions could be making him anxious. If you don’t have a ring by 2026, then see what is going on. Perhaps a couples’ session with a therapist can help you both navigate these waters. Until then, see what happens in one of the most romantic places on Earth! 

DEAR NATALIE: My wife and I have been married for about 17 years and she is the love of my life. The last few years, however, have been very challenging, as I have become disabled due to long Covid. She has had to pick up more of the financial slack as my job was incredibly physically demanding and I no longer can do that work. I feel her pulling away and I am not sure what to do? I don’t know how I would survive without her and she is an incredible mother and wife. I want to do more, but I just don’t know what that is. Any advice? – DEPRESSED AND DOWN DEAR DEPRESSED AND DOWN: I am so sorry to hear that you are having health complications that have caused you to leave your job. There are millions of Americans struggling with long Covid and so many people are afraid to talk about it because there is such a stigma. We have a lack of social safety nets, which also makes the burden worse on people. Your wife may also be struggling with anxiety and fear over your health, as well, as there are so little treatments or medical supports for long Covid. Have you tried telling her how you feel? Does she know how much this is weighing on you? Are you able to get away for a night or even have a little staycation to reconnect with one another emotionally and physically? If you have family that can watch your kids for an evening, or even a friend that can take them for a few hours, it may free up some bandwidth for you to reconnect. What are you able to do for her or for the household? Are there chores, like light housework or meal prep that you can help with? Are there things you can do to ease her mental workload, like keep track of family appointments or schedules? Whatever you are capable of doing, sit down with her and work through it. Being present with each other may help you both reclaim some sense of your relationship, mourn what was, and work towards building something new that you can cherish. Good luck to you.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Watch her weekly video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Week in Focus: www.penncapital-star.com

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DEAR NATALIE: My son is 22-years-old and is dating a 43-year-old woman. For reference, I am 48-years-old. My wife (who is my age) is very upset by this. I am not as bothered. I think a lot of young men date older women and there’s nothing wrong with that. My wife feels worried that she is “wasting his time” and doesn’t like that he is following her around like a puppy dog instead of focusing on building a life for himself. They have talked about moving in together and my wife wants me to “forbid” him to do this. I laughed because he is a grown man. I also feel that if I push him on this topic, he will just want to be with her more. My wife wants me to take a different approach and is demanding that I speak with him about his girlfriend. What advice do you think I should give him? I don’t want him to end up with her… but there are worse things than having an older girlfriend. – NOT AS CONCERNED DAD

DEAR NOT AS CONCERNED DAD: I can see why your wife is concerned, but I also see why you are trying to be more deliberate in your response because you’re right. If you push on this issue, he will just want her more. The best approach is a dispassionate one. If you do talk to him, you don’t have to say, “your mother wants me to talk to you…” and throw her under the bus. Just ask him how things are going with his girlfriend. When you build up that trust and recognize his autonomy, you may be surprised how much he gives in return. Respecting him as a man who can make his own decisions could benefit your relationship now and in the future. Your wife may not be in agreement with his choices, but this relationship may need to run its course. If he is in love and she treats him well, then there isn’t much to fight him on. At some point, their life paths may naturally diverge and if so, you will have built up a trust with him so he can discuss it with you and feel comfortable knowing he can be open and honest about it. 

DEAR NATALIE: I have a friend who is constantly dating one loser after another. It is always about her most recent conquest or relationship issue. She has horrible taste in men and mostly ends up paying for everything. One guy wouldn’t leave her apartment and she had to get the police involved. I’m not sure what to say to her at this point. She is 35-years-old and just likes the drama, I guess. But it really spills into our friendship because it is all she wants to talk about. I had a rough year and lost a family member as well as lost my job. She hasn’t asked about either in a meaningful way. I want to tell her how I feel, but I’m also at a point where I just don’t care. How do I not let her energy cloud how I feel about her? – CLOUDY DEAR CLOUDY: Is this a relationship or are you just a doormat for her to dump all of her drama onto? It doesn’t seem fair (or healthy) that the entire dynamic is that she gets to talk about her messed up love life and you don’t get anything in return. I am a big fan of setting boundaries with people in a way that respects your friendship but also creates a space for peace in your life. Her love life sounds traumatic and exhausting. I can’t understand why she would want to date men who bring her nothing but chaos and stress. And why should you have to bear witness to it when she doesn’t even have the decency to acknowledge what you’ve been going through? I think you should put this friendship on ice and reevaluate what you need from your friends moving forward. Because this ain’t it.

Please send your questions to Natalie Bencivenga to

asknatalieadvice@gmail.com.

Watch her NEW show with WQED: “Destination with Natalie” Bencivenga now streaming on YouTube.

Watch her video series with Pennsylvania Capital Star, Week in Focus: www.penncapital-star.com

Follow Natalie on Instagram and TikTok @NatalieBencivenga

Subscribe to her newsletter on Substack: Facts Over Fear