At Chicago's O'Hare Airport on May 17, a lost DoorDash driver made it past a security gate and onto the tarmac, driving a significant distance before being stopped by airport personnel, WKRC-TV reported. The 36-year-old driver stopped near a grounded aircraft and showed the food receipt and meal he was trying to deliver; he was released without any citations. However, the security employee at the gate was relieved of her duties after letting the car pass through her post. [WKRC, 6/7/2025]

That's Punny

In London's Brockwell Park, the annual Lambeth Country Show kicked off on June 7 with livestock competitions, sheep shearing and, most notably, a vegetable sculpture contest, the Associated Press reported. "Every year, this is what we get so excited about, is the vegetable sculptures," said fairgoer Maddy Luxon. "We love the political ones." And, her friend Marek Szandrowski added, "The puns." For example, one sculpture featured Catholic cardinals made of corn: "Cornclave." Another called "Cauli Parton" was shown in a scene from "9 to Chive." President Donald Trump was depicted in butternut squash form. [AP, 6/8/2025]

To Your Point

Lake of the Isles, a neighborhood in Minneapolis, marks the start of summer by sharpening a pencil -- a 20-foot-tall wooden pencil sculpted from a tree damaged in a storm several years ago. The Associated Press reported on June 7 that residents John and Amy Higgins wanted to give the tree new life, so they enlisted wood sculptor Curtis Ingvoldstad to fashion a No. 2 pencil. "Why a pencil? Everybody uses a pencil," said Amy. Every year, they sharpen it with a custom-made sharpener carried up to the point on scaffolding, taking off 3 to 10 inches. The Higginses know that one day, their pencil will be a stub, but they're OK with that. They just want the ritual to pull the community together. The party includes entertainment and music, and people dress as pencils or erasers. [AP, 6/7/2025]

The Golden Age of Air Travel

At Milan's Malpensa Airport on June 8, a Chinese woman went full-on toddler tantrum after being told her carry-on bag was too heavy to fly, news.com.au reported. The woman was boarding a flight when staff tried to check her carry-on suitcase, but when they told her it was over the weight limit, she hit the floor, rolling around, stamping her feet and yelling. Authorities eventually removed her from the flight, and she later rebooked after calming down. Videos of her antics have since gone viral, provoking comments such as "This is shameless and disgraceful behavior" and "This is so embarrassing." [news.com.au, 6/11/2025]

Questionable Judgments

-- Well, it's that time of year again, when people with less sense than animals head into the wild and carelessly approach large, dangerous wildlife. So it was in Yellowstone National Park this month, when 1) a 30-year-old New Jersey man was gored by a bison on June 10 after getting too close, and 2) bystanders caught a video of a woman walking a toddler right up to a grazing bison at the same park on June 2, according to KDVR-TV. The New Jersey man was treated at the scene for minor injuries. The bison, thankfully, ignored the adult and toddler. "Bison will defend their space when threatened and have injured more people in Yellowstone than any other animal," wildlife officials said. [KDVR, 6/12/2025]

-- Fox2-TV in Detroit reported on June 9 about a Zoom court hearing that went viral. The hearing was overseen by 36th District Court Judge Sean Perkins, who was talking with Asja Outerbridge about her misdemeanor open container violation. On the Zoom video, Outerbridge could be seen wearing a robe and making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while she spoke to the court. "Put whatever you're trying to prepare down," Perkins instructed her. "Put your proper dress on. I don't do robes." Outerbridge explained that her 3-year-old daughter was home sick from school and the sandwich was for her, then showed the judge that she was dressed in a T-shirt and pants. But he wasn't having it: "Bye, Ms. Outerbridge!" he said before booting her off the call. Outerbridge said she "could have came dressed better and more prepared. I do genuinely, with a serious face, apologize to the judge." [Fox2, 6/9/2025]

But Why?

A woman shopping "in aisle 18 at Sam's Club" in Orlando, Florida, got an eyeful on May 30 when she caught Patrick Mitchell, 70, urinating on two pallets of canned Spam and Vienna sausages, The Smoking Gun reported. Police said the witness snapped a photo and reported the incident to store employees, who confirmed that the pallets, worth $10,584.54, had been "contaminated with bodily fluids." After relieving himself, Mitchell strolled around the store and tested some patio furniture before checking out and leaving. Mitchell was arrested at his home in The Villages, a retirement community, and charged with disorderly conduct and criminal mischief. [The Smoking Gun, 6/11/2025]

Kindness Counts

A woman stopped an Osceola County (Florida) Sheriff's deputy on June 9 to report that her brother had been stabbed with a machete, WESH-TV reported. Oh, also, that the assailant was driving the victim to the hospital. Sure enough, officers found Angel Ramos-Arce, 35, at the hospital, where his truck yielded the victim's blood and the machete. The two men had gotten into an altercation over Ramos-Arce repeatedly harassing the victim's sister at the Circle K where she worked. He was charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon; it's unclear whether he'll get any Brownie points for transporting the victim to the hospital. [WESH, 6/10/2025]

Bright Idea

Tiron Alexander, 35, of Florida is facing up to 30 years in federal prison after being found guilty on June 5 of wire fraud and unlawfully entering a secure airport area under false pretenses. CBS News reported that between 2018 and 2024, Alexander falsely claimed to be a flight attendant with seven different airlines to take advantage of free flights. He created about 30 different badges and boarded 34 flights without paying. He will be sentenced on Aug. 25. [CBS News, 6/12/2025]

Heh, Heh, They Said 'Naked'

At a public bathhouse in Incheon, South Korea, stickers in the elevator direct guests to the men's or women's baths, which are on different floors. The Korea JoongAng Daily reported that on May 27, a woman in her 20s entered the elevator around 2 a.m. and pressed the button corresponding to the women's bath, but when she exited the elevator, naked, she entered the men's bath. CCTV footage showed two men, believed to be in their 20s, switching the stickers in the elevator around 11 p.m. Police said they are tracking the suspects. [Korea JoongAng Daily, 6/12/2025]

Turkmenistan's top tourist attraction is the Gateway to Hell, a huge gas leak that has been burning since 1971 in the Karakum Desert, Yahoo! News reported on June 5. The fire started when Soviet scientists accidentally drilled into an underground pocket of gas and then ignited it, starting a blaze that could be seen from several kilometers away. Officials announced this week that the fire has been reduced three-fold. "Today only a faint source of combustion remains," said Irina Luryeva, a director at the state-owned energy company Turkmengaz. Wells have been drilled around the site to capture the methane from the leak, she said. [Yahoo! News, 6/5/2025]

Great Art

Amsterdam has out-Amsterdammed itself with a new exhibit at the Rijksmuseum, the Associated Press reported on June 3. As part of an exhibition called "Safe Sex?" the museum is displaying a condom from 1830 that is enhanced with erotic art. The prophylactic is made from a sheep's appendix and, the museum says, "depicts both the playful and the serious side of sexual health" with its image of a nun and three clergymen. The phrase "This is my choice" is written in French along its length, which may refer to the Renoir painting "The Judgment of Paris." Historians believe the condom might be a souvenir from a brothel. You can see it until the end of November. [AP, 6/2/2025]

Saw That Coming

After performers debuted "Westphalia Side Story" on Paterborn Cathedral's altar in Berlin, Germany, on May 15, more than 22,000 people signed a petition demanding that the archbishop apologize and reconsecrate the cathedral. The Associated Press reported that the production included a song and dance which featured two shirtless men and one woman displaying raw, plucked chickens wearing diapers while singing "Fleish ist Fleish" ("Meat is Meat"). The song was part of a larger production celebrating the 1,250th anniversary of Westphalia, Germany, a region in the country's northwest. The finished show will premiere in September. [AP, 5/30/2025]

Least Competent Criminal

Richard Pruneda, 42, of Edinburg, Texas, managed to get himself arrested twice over the Memorial Day holiday in Eddyville, Kentucky, the West Kentucky Star reported. The Lyon County Sheriff was called on May 25 to a business where Pruneda was allegedly intoxicated and making "alarming" statements to an employee. The next day, after bonding out of jail, Pruneda called the sheriff's office to ask about retrieving personal items from his impounded car. When the officer picked up and inventoried the items, he found cocaine in the trunk. Eddyville Police assisted as they went to Pruneda's motel and arrested him for a second time. [West Kentucky Star, 6/3/2025]

Florida

No Longer Weird: alligators in Florida. BUT this story caught our eye: Not one but two motorcyclists were injured on May 31 in Volusia County, Florida, after they hit an alligator crossing I-4, WFOL-TV reported. Cameron Gilmore, 67, said he and Brandi Goss, 25, were riding with a larger group when he saw a "big blob in the road." Goss elaborated: "I just seen something and ... it was too late," she said. Goss sustained a concussion and cracked wrist bone; Gilmore had a broken foot and toes. The alligator's fate is unknown. [WFOL, 6/2/2025]

Animal Antics

A 30-year-old elephant named Plai Biang Lek escaped Khao Yai National Park and went shopping on June 2 in Bangkok, Thailand, the Associated Press reported. The enormous male pachyderm ducked through the door of a grocery store and helped himself to snacks while park workers tried to shoo him out. When he was ready to go, he backed out the door, still holding a bag of treats with his trunk. The only damage to the shop was mud tracks on the floor and ceiling. Kamploy Kakaew, the owner, said he ate nine bags of sweet rice crackers, a sandwich and some dried bananas. This isn't his first offense: He's been known to enter homes in search of food. [AP, 6/4/2025]

The Continuing Crisis

The Montclair Elementary School in Oakland, California, is celebrating 100 years, and as such, the school's PTA historian dug back into the archives to find historical items for the 2025 yearbook. But, as ABC7-TV reported, she might have been a little lax in her editing. One photo in the yearbook distributed to kindergartners through fifth graders shows a picture from the 1940 carnival, held annually at the school. "Boy and Girl Scouts will have charge of booths and many attractions," read the caption, before providing one example: a game named after a racial slur. What?! Principal David Kloker sent an apology to families and suggested parents remove that page or put a sticker, supplied by the school, over the photo. The historian explained that she "made the critical error of only reading the first paragraph before including it." The PTA will offer refunds for the yearbook to families. The historian said she will pass the baton to another volunteer for next year. [ABC7, 6/2/2025]

Bright Idea

Here's one way to disrupt government: At a Mecklenburg County (North Carolina) commission meeting on June 3, a protester released an "unknown" number of crickets, WBTV reported. "She dropped something from the balcony," one commissioner said. Crickets were "everywhere on the walls, on the stairs" and "in the balcony," commissioners said. Board chair Mark Jerrell stopped the meeting, saying, "It's shameful. Shameful. You can leave, thank you very much, we appreciate it." After protesters were removed, the meeting continued, but commissioners were forced to take a 10-minute recess so the environmental services staff could come in and vacuum up the critters. Jerrell said the commission was familiar with the protesters but that they lost all credibility with the stunt. [WBTV, 6/4/2025]

Weird in the Wild

On May 29 at Wekiva Island, Florida, one man was transported to the hospital after suffering a bite from ... nope, not an alligator, but rather an "aggressive" otter. WSVN-TV reported that after biting the victim, the otter ran off, and Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission officers couldn't find it. Megan Stolen, a senior scientist at the Blue World Research Institute, advised area residents to keep their distance. She said the otter may have felt the person was too close, or it could be suffering from rabies, which makes them more aggressive. [WSVN, 6/4/2025]

News That Sounds Like a Joke

Police in Jacksonville, Florida, are looking for a suspect who "fondled" a $650 ferret for some time at a Petland store, then shoved the animal down his shorts and walked out. The Smoking Gun reported that on May 27, the man "browsed the ferret section of the store" before he left, holding "the crotch area of his shorts to support the ferret." A Petland manager tried to chase him but couldn't get the license plate number of the van he was driving. [The Smoking Gun, 5/29/2025]

Twenty-nine-year-old Oliver Widger arrived on May 24 in Waikiki, Hawaii, with his cat in tow, the Associated Press reported. But he didn't fly there. Widger and Phoenix sailed from the Oregon coast in a boat he bought without knowing how to sail. Widger was diagnosed four years ago with a syndrome that carries the risk of paralysis, so he quit his managerial job with $10,000 of debt and used his retirement savings to buy and refit the boat. "You know, you're grinding at your job all day long and ... everybody's just trying to do enough to get by and that just wears you out," Widger said. "I think people have seen that it's possible to break out." Upon reaching Hawaii after several weeks at sea, he didn't have a clear plan for what's next but said he might sail to French Polynesia. [AP, 5/24/2025]

Rude

Three men came to blows on May 16 at CSL Plasma in Wilkes-Barre Township, Pennsylvania, after one of them, ahem, let one rip while standing in line, the Times Leader reported. Chazz Pearson, 39, was standing behind an elderly man who dropped a bomb, then apologized. But -- and this really stinks -- Pearson allegedly struck the man in the head, and when the man's son stepped in, hit him, too. Pearson faces charges of simple assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. [Times Leader, 5/23/2025]

Holier Than Thou

Mount Athos is a self-governed monastic territory in Greece, where 20 or so monasteries coexist peacefully -- one would think. However, on May 22, the Associated Press reported, one young monk was hospitalized after allegedly being attacked by brothers of the Esphigmenou Monastery, whose members have defied court and church orders to leave the premises. The dispute began in the 1970s and has involved violent clashes, legal battles and supply blockades. According to police, the rebel monks used garden tools to injure the victim. However, the accused brotherhood denied the claims. "It is a well-known tactic for these perpetrators to play the victims," they said. "They feigned injury in a performance worthy of an acting class." [AP, 5/23/2025]

Surprise!

An East Shoreham, New York, homeowner who started the happy task of uncovering the backyard pool for the summer season on May 25 was shocked to find a man's body in the water, NBC New York reported. The Suffolk County medical examiner has yet to identify the body or discover how he died, but officials said it may be Matthew Zoll, 23, who has been on the run since stabbing his father to death in November in Rocky Point, New York. Neighbor Paul Gawreluk said he wondered "why somebody would try to get under the (pool) cover. It's not a smart thing to do." [NBC New York, 5/27/2025]

News You Can Use

If you're one of those impatient flyers who's up out of the seat as soon as the wheels touch the ground, you'd better not land in Turkey. The New York Times reported on May 28 that Turkey will now fine passengers who leave their seats before the plane has stopped taxiing, to the tune of about $67. The Turkish Directorate General of Civil Aviation said the banned behavior includes unfastening seat belts, opening overhead compartments and moving into the aisle before it's your turn. [New York Times, 5/28/2025]

Florida

-- Residents of Fort Myers Shores, Florida, who own pets are taking extra precautions about letting them out at night, Gulf Coast News Now reported on May 27. That's because cane toads are spreading through the community, especially near parks, canals and gardens. The invasive toad secretes a toxin from glands on its back that "can kill very quickly," said Jordan Donini, a biology professor at Florida Southwestern State College. "They can lay anywhere from 8,000 to 32,000 eggs in a single clutch," he said, noting that female toads "are a priority for removal." Donini said the toads have to be removed humanely and encouraged contacting local wildlife control services for help. [Gulf Coast News Now, 5/27/2025]

-- Researchers from the University of Florida have just published a study identifying a new hybrid breed of termite, Gizmodo reported. "I was hoping never to find it," said the lead author of the study, Thomas Chouvenc. The insects are the result of breeding between the Formosan subterranean termite and the Asian subterranean termite, both of which are voracious chewers of wood. In October 2024, the scientists found a colony of the hybrid termites in a park in Fort Lauderdale that they think may have been there for five years. "This may be a Florida story now, but it likely won't stay just in Florida," Chouvenc said. [Gizmodo, 5/29/2025]

Nature Gone Wild

On May 28, 90% of the village of Blatten in Switzerland was buried after the Birch Glacier collapsed, the Associated Press reported. Rock and ice tumbled down the mountainside as predicted; the village had been evacuated of people and livestock earlier in May as a precaution. However, one 64-year-old man was missing after the avalanche. Police said the search-and-rescue operation to find him had been suspended on May 29 because of falling debris. Local officials said a lake is forming where the accumulated debris blocked the Lonza River; "The challenge lies in the behavior of this accumulation of water and the Lonza River, which could cause a torrential lava flow if the river flows into the deposit." [AP, 5/29/2025]

Truth Is Stranger Than Netflix

On May 24, Forest Ranger Robert Praczkajlo responded to a 911 call from Cascade Mountain in the Adirondacks, the Associated Press reported. Two hikers told a steward at the mountain's summit that the third member of their party had died and that they were lost. The steward, however, realized that the hikers "were in an altered mental state," and Praczkajlo escorted them to an ambulance. Turns out the hikers had taken hallucinogenic mushrooms, and their friend wasn't dead at all. After being treated at a hospital, the trio met up at their campsite. [AP, 5/28/2025]

Animal Antics

Residents of one Cape Coral, Florida, community may want to start shouting "Duck!" at their neighbors, Fox4-TV reported on May 23. That's because an aggressive Muscovy duck is terrorizing them. James Sepulveda, who likes to catch sunsets from a chair on his front porch, said he had his eyes closed when, "All of a sudden, I felt a jab on my hand and it was bleeding." The fowl has even tried to follow Sepulveda into his home. Another resident, Richard Guy, said, "I stood up and I made some noises ... Next thing I know, its wings come out, you know, like it's going to attack me." Sepulveda said he wants to "get rid of" the duck, but the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said the species is "protected under the Migratory Bird Treaty Act." As such, they have to be removed humanely or by "use of a firearm on private property during daylight hours with landowner permission." That'll work. [Fox4, 5/23/2025]