In Russia, doctors at the Kirov Regional Clinical Hospital were astounded when a 65-year-old man presented with a tumor the size of his head growing from the back of his neck, the New York Post reported. The surgeons were able to remove the tumor on Sept. 22 and identified it as a benign lipoma -- a fatty lump that grows between the skin and muscle. The patient told doctors he'd been living with the lump for 16 years and had tried treating it with simple ointments, without success. Igor Popyrin, head of surgery at the hospital, said many patients "postpone a visit to a specialist, hoping that the formation will disappear on its own. The only effective treatment is surgical removal." [NY Post, 9/22/2025]

Saw That Coming

On Sept. 22, as Lubbock (Texas) mounted police officers Bryson Lewis and William Trotter assisted with a routine patrol, they stopped a man who was walking in the road, rather than on the sidewalk, KCBD-TV reported. The officers thought 42-year-old Joseph Ramirez was acting suspiciously, and when they asked to check his pockets, he said no. Then Trotter joked that he had a "narcotics-smelling horse" -- and Ramirez took off running. "He took it seriously, and the race was on," Trotter said. But the police horses caught up with him quickly, and Ramirez was charged with evading arrest and tampering with physical evidence with the intent to impair. "Chasing bad guys is part of the fun in it for us," Lewis said. "So when you get to chase down a bad guy and not even get tired, it's a good day." [KCBD, 9/25/2025]

People With Issues

Yaz Chapman, 34, of Portsmouth, Hampshire, England, was diagnosed at age 4 with pica, a disorder that involves eating items that are not typically thought of as food. As a child, she tried talcum powder, chalk and cigarette rolling papers. According to LAD Bible, the mom of four currently eats about 10 sheets of paper each day. "I look forward to the postman," Chapman said. "Certain papers taste different and they have different textures. I'll rip a corner off just to test it." She said she drinks plenty of water to help with constipation. "When someone likes chocolate and they're craving something sweet, they eat it and they feel those happy chemicals being released in their brain. It's like that," Chapman said about living with pica. [LAD Bible, 9/30/2025]

Least Competent Criminals

-- Keajion L. Jennings of Fairview Heights, Illinois, told the Fairview Heights police officer whose car he had just rear-ended that he did it because he was "bored" and "I hate cops." The Belleville News-Democrat reported that on Sept. 24, as officer Travis Montgomery stopped a different car for an expired license plate sticker, Jennings drove his 2018 Camaro into the back of Montgomery's squad car. Jennings "admitted he had consumed alcohol and weed gummies," a department statement said. He was charged with criminal damage to government-supported property, two counts of aggravated battery and one count of aggravated assault. Montgomery and the occupants of the other car were unhurt. [Belleville News-Democrat, 9/26/2025]

-- Six people were arrested in Los Angeles, KTLA-TV reported on Sept. 30, after they attempted to raise a banner on the iconic Hollywood sign. The LAPD said the group "trespassed all the way up to the Hollywood sign" with a banner advertising the cryptocurrency business Pump.fun. Jake Hillhouse, one of the six, said the group wanted to be "one of the only" to successfully alter the sign; to that end, they filmed every step along the way, from creation of the banner to raising it with ropes as a police helicopter circled overhead. Their post on X went viral, so ... promotion achieved! [KTLA, 9/30/2025]

Compelling Explanations

-- Around 11 a.m. on Sept. 30, Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst near Trenton, New Jersey, went into lockdown, the Associated Press reported. The warning stemmed from a text about a shooter on the base sent by Malika Brittingham, a civilian who works for the Naval Air Warfare Center. She told the person she texted that she had heard five or six shots and was sheltering in a closet with co-workers. The text recipient called 911, prompting the lockdown. But as it turned out, there was no shooter. Prosecutors say Brittingham confessed to committing the hoax because she had been "ostracized by her co-workers and hoped their shared experience in response to an active shooter would allow them to 'trauma bond.'" She faces charges of knowingly conveying false information about an active shooter who didn't exist. [AP, 10/1/2025]

-- In Palm Coast, Florida, Flagler County Sheriff's deputies pulled over 57-year-old Michael Stanek of Welaka on Sept. 23 for speeding -- or in his case, superspeeding, Fox News reported. Stanek was going 107 mph. When an officer asked him why he was going so fast, bodycam video captured his excuse: "I have an appointment with my barber." Chances are he didn't make it; the officer said he would spend the night in jail after "weaving in and out of traffic" and "putting other people's lives in danger." [Fox News, 10/1/2025]

News You Can Use

Looking for a get-rich-quick scheme? Start saving those fingernail clippings. In traditional Chinese medicine, Oddity Central reported on Sept. 26, clippings are incorporated into medicinal products to treat abdominal distension and tonsillitis. Companies that make the treatments purchase the clippings and wash them thoroughly before grinding them into powder, and the prices paid for them are relatively high (compared to, say, the value of throwing them in the trash). One woman sold clippings for $21 per kilogram (she'd been saving them since childhood). [Oddity Central, 9/26/2025]

Animal Antics

A black swan nicknamed "Mr. Terminator" was removed from his adopted home in Stratford-upon-Avon, England, on Sept. 30, the Independent reported. The swan, also called Reggie, turned up in the famous berg nine months ago, said swan warden Cyril Bennis. At first, residents and visitors loved seeing the creature among the native mute swans, which are white. "He became more popular than William Shakespeare himself," Bennis said. "The darkest side of our Mr. Terminator happened when he tried to muscle in on a pair of our residents with a young cygnet ... He kicked out the male and the cygnet. He tried to take over its territory with the other female." When the swan started trying to drown his fellow fowl, "It needed to move on." Bennis is still recovering from injuries to his chest sustained during the removal process, but he said the "river is quiet and the mute swans are just relaxing." Mr. Terminator is at his new home in Devon. [Independent, 10/2/2025]

Bright Idea

Holiday Inn Express guests in Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, Thailand and Japan are trying out a new concept in the wakeup call category, the New York Post reported on Oct. 1. The Breakfast Alarm Clock will wake up sleepy customers with the smells of their favorite breakfast items. People can choose aromas including coffee, bacon, blueberry muffin, mango or pear. The device works like a diffuser, releasing the scent at the desired time. Holiday Inn commissioned research that showed 58% of travelers in the Asia Pacific region said a pleasant smell would make them feel better as they woke up. "We know the power of scent: That first whiff of coffee or fresh croissant can work wonders," said vice president Dean Jones. [NY Post, 10/1/2025]

Rose Mnisi, 39, appeared in court on Sept. 18, where she faced charges of illegal possession of human tissues, the BBC reported. Mnisi is a cleaner at a hospital maternity ward in eastern Mpumalanga, South Africa. Security officers were tipped off that she was seeking buyers for human body tissues; they arrested her with a plastic bag of human placentas. Police said Mnisi might face further charges. She is due back in court in October. [BBC, 9/19/2025]

Least Competent Criminal

The BP convenience store in Macon, Missouri, has slot machines, KTVO-TV reported, which made it really handy for Amber Dawn Butler, 34, to satisfy her gambling addiction while she was at work. One little hiccup in her on-the-job wagering was that she was allegedly taking money from the store's cash register and safe to feed into the machines. Butler also confessed to scratching lottery tickets she hadn't bought and stealing cigarettes and bottled water from the store. Confusingly, she pleaded not guilty and is being held in the Macon County jail. [KTVO, 9/19/2025]

Fun Suckers

If you're planning to do a little carousing this homecoming season in Jesup, Iowa, think again: The Jesup Police Department has issued a warning that TP-ing is banned, and anyone doing it will face legal charges. KCRG-TV reported on Sept. 17 that police have labeled the prank harassment and have identified multiple people whom they are investigating for trespassing, criminal mischief, illegal dumping and disorderly conduct. [KCRG, 9/17/2025]

It's Good To Have a Hobby

In Conway, South Carolina, TikTok users and others are following the escapades of the "CCU Pisser," a person who relieves himself at different points around the Coastal Carolina University campus. The Sun News reported that the videos started appearing on Sept. 1, and each one features a different iconic target: a CCU logo embedded in a sidewalk, for example, and the school's football field. CCU wouldn't comment on the shenanigans, but a "Detective" apparently unaffiliated with the school is also a hit on TikTok, warning the Pisser that "I know your name. I know where you will be next." We'd love to hear both posters' GPAs. [Sun News, 9/20/2025]

Animal Antics

Joan Heblack of San Rafael, California, was enjoying a walk in her neighborhood when a squirrel "came out of nowhere" to claw and bite her, KGO-TV reported on Sept. 22. Her injuries sent her to the emergency room. Heblack isn't the only victim of an attack squirrel in the area; about five people have been attacked, and fliers have been posted on utility poles, warning residents of the "very mean squirrel." Lisa Bloch of Marin Humane said such attacks are "likely the result of someone feeding it. When wildlife is fed by humans, they can lose their natural fear and act more emboldened." The LA County Department of Public Health assures locals that squirrels do not spread rabies. [KGO-TV, 9/22/2025]

But Why?

-- Teaching assistant Alexander Lewis, 32, was charged with interfering with schools and malicious injury to property in Florence, South Carolina, WKRC-TV reported on Sept. 23. Between Aug. 25 and Sept. 19, Lewis allegedly used a spray that mimics the smell of poop inside the school. The spray caused students and staff health issues, nausea and dizziness, and the district spent almost $55,000 trying to solve the issue through air conditioning inspection and repair costs. Lewis' bond was set at $9,000. [WKRC, 9/22/2025]

-- A 57-year-old man in Shizuoka Prefecture in Japan was re-arrested on Sept. 18 after investigators discovered that he had allegedly stolen 50 fire hose nozzles, Japan Today reported. It wasn't clear why he was stealing them, as he kept them in his possession rather than selling them. Officials say the nozzles aren't worth much as scrap metal, but the absence of them presents a serious risk to the public. [Japan Today, 9/24/2025]

New World Order

The three members of the Kingdom of Kubala, an "African tribe," were ordered to vacate private land in Scotland on Sept. 22, Sky News reported -- but instead, they just relocated to the other side of a fence, on council-owned land. The members say they are reclaiming land that was stolen from their ancestors 400 years ago, but the Scottish Borders Council has made efforts to remove them. King Atehene, aka Kofi Offeh, 36, indicated that he would not speak to media outlets unless they brought him gifts; the group posted on Facebook, "The Kingdom of Kubala can never be destroyed." A spokesperson for the Borders Council said legal processes are continuing and "officers will proceed through the next steps as quickly as possible." [Sky News, 9/22/2025]

The Tech Revolution

Lisa Catalano, 41, of San Mateo, California, is ready to settle down, KRON-TV reported, so she's set her sights high. Catalano is using digital billboards along Highway 101 to seek out potential mates, directing suitors to her website to get more information and apply. "I just want to meet somebody," she said, "and I was just not having any luck any other way." Catalano was previously engaged, but her fiance passed away in 2023 from illness. As she looks for the ideal applicant, she says, "I hope that this is a great story that we can tell our future children." [KRON, 9/24/2025]

Bright Idea

Craigslea Community Kindergarten and Preschool in Brisbane, Australia, had to close recently after its funding was halted, the BBC reported. Following upheaval among the staff and volunteer committee, parents received an email on Sept. 21 explaining that the school can't pay its debts; hours later, a second email asked parents to pay $1,400 to receive a portfolio of their children's art. Administrators said the money would go toward paying down unpaid bills, including teachers' wages. Brooke, a parent of a Craigslea student, called the scheme "absolutely ridiculous." She decided to collect the artwork without paying, which led the center to report her to police. The Creche and Kindergarten Association and the Department of Education got involved, and now, "These important records are now available for families to collect," C&K said. Parent David Crisafulli remarked, "Let's give the kids their finger painting and let's get on with life." Hear, hear. [BBC, 9/24/2025]

News You Can Use

The robots are coming ... to Major League Baseball. On Sept. 23, the MLB approved the use of an automated ball/strike system for challenges during the 2026 season, ESPN reported. The ABS system will be similar to the line-calling system in tennis, and each team will get two challenges per game, signaled by a hitter, pitcher or catcher tapping his head. Human big-league umpires call about 94% of pitches correctly. [ESPN, 9/23/2025]

Stuff That Only Happens to Other People

Just months after a woman from New York dug up a 2.3-carat diamond at Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park, a family from Oklahoma have unearthed an even bigger rock: a 2.79-carat brown diamond. United Press International reported that on Sept. 13, Raynae Madison and her family went to the park to celebrate her nephew's birthday, bringing beach-digging and sand-sifting tools they purchased at a dollar store. "I honestly thought it was too big to be a diamond," Madison said. The park said it is the third-largest diamond found at the park this year. [UPI, 9/25/2025]

At a rehearsal on Sept. 16 for an airshow in Changchun, China, two flying cars collided while performing difficult stunts, CNN reported. The electric vertical take-off and landing (eVTOL) vehicles are intended to be part of a "low-altitude economy" in China, which includes flying taxis, drone deliveries and other services below 3,000 meters. Xpeng Aeroht, the company that makes the vehicles, said the collision happened because of "insufficient spacing. All personnel at the scene are safe." However, an unidentified employee said one pilot sustained minor injuries. [CNN, 9/16/2025]

Compelling Explanation

Officer David Jewell, 45, of the Edgewater (Florida) Police Department, was killed on Sept. 15, MSN reported, at the Circle K in Ormond Beach. Jewell died after being shot by Circle K employee Eduardo Felipe Labrada Machado, 24, the Volusia County Sheriff's Office said. Machado confessed to the shooting, telling authorities that "he was having a bad day on his drive to work" and had "thought about shooting Jewell earlier" because Jewell carried a firearm and Machado was afraid of him. Machado's family members said he had been "diagnosed with a mental health disorder in the past." [MSN, 9/16/2025]

Freak Accident

As Jessica Preciado drove on a freeway on Sept. 15 in Los Angeles County, she heard a pop, then immediately experienced a sharp pain in her backside, Yahoo! News reported. Preciado said she thought she'd been shot, but when paramedics arrived, they saw that her left buttock had been pierced by a metal rod that had come through the rear of her Ford Fusion and the driver's seat. "I was so confused as to where this injury was coming from," Preciado said. Now recovering from the accident, she believes the rod must have fallen off a truck and urges drivers to secure their loads before hitting the road. [Yahoo! News, 9/18/2025]

It's a Dirty Job

In Szekszard, Hungary, on Sept. 6, more than 20 teams competed in the International Grave Digging Championship, Oddity Central reported. The contest is sponsored by the country's Association of Cemetery Operators and Maintainers (MTFE) and is intended to raise the prestige of the profession. Teams of two must dig graves 2 meters long, 80 centimeters wide and 1.6 meters deep within two hours, then shovel the dirt back into the holes to create a neat burial mound. Contestants are judged on speed, accuracy and attention to detail. The Hungarian team of Laszlo Kiss and Robert Nagy won the first prize for the second year in a row. "The winners credited their success to the routine they developed in their daily work without any special training," the MTFE said. The Russian team came in last, blaming their performance on the hot weather. [Oddity Central, 9/17/2025]

The Foreign Press

Meanwhile, in Scotland, scandal erupted at the World Stone Skimming Championship, United Press International reported on Sept. 16. The stones used in the contest are required to be naturally occurring slate from the island of Easdale, where the match takes place, but several contestants were found to be using stones that had been smoothed and shaped by machine. Kyle Matthews, the Toss Master, said he "contacted the individuals, who admitted their transgressions, and I had to disqualify them." Matthews said the organizers are considering having competitors choose from already-vetted stones in the future, rather than providing their own. Jonathan Jennings of Kentucky became the first American to win the adult male category; repeat champion Lucy Woods won the adult female category. [UPI, 9/16/2025]

Suspicions Confirmed

The Times reported that on Sept. 15, as a French airliner prepared to land in Corsica, the pilot ended up having to circle above the Mediterranean Sea for 18 minutes, unable to get a response from the air traffic control tower. The flight from Paris was an hour late, arriving after midnight, and only one controller was on the job. As the aircraft circled, the airport's fire crew went to the tower and found the controller asleep at his desk. He woke up, switched on the runway lights and cleared the jet to approach. The pilot said the passengers "treated the incident with good humor," and the controller was tested for drugs and alcohol, for which he was clean. [The Times, 9/17/2025]

Government at Work

More than 50 animals -- mostly cats and a few others -- vied for the title of Bike Path Mayor this summer in Somerville, Massachusetts, NBCBoston-TV reported. On Sept. 14, Minerva the cat, whose one-word campaign slogan was "Crime," took the honors. Somerville residents were able to vote via a QR code in an election that had been going on since July. One Somervillian said Minerva's "platform of crime, I think, really resonated with people." [NBCBoston, 9/16/2025]

Inexplicable

A cameraman touring with singer-songwriter Benson Boone was arrested in Clearwater, Florida, on charges of criminal mischief and disorderly intoxication after he allegedly entered the Surf Style shop on Sept. 11 and relieved himself on almost $700 worth of clothing. The Smoking Gun reported that Tyler Capehart, 39, of Georgia, told cops that he had "consumed alcohol and smoked marijuana," but he said he had no recollection of peeing on the clothing in the store. He posted $650 bond and was released. [The Smoking Gun, 9/12/2025]

Bright Idea

Just after midnight on Sept. 15, a man swam up to the Paddlefish restaurant in Disney Springs, Florida, removed his wet suit and scuba gear, and robbed the restaurant, WFTV reported. Orange County deputies said the thief allegedly walked into the manager's office, where the night's take was being counted, and ordered two employees to stand in the corner and close their eyes. He tied them up, then scooped up tens of thousands of dollars and left, putting his gear back on and swimming into the night. The sheriff's office said the investigation is ongoing. [WFTV, 9/15/2025]

The Continuing Crisis

Kasper Lincoln, 40, of Prince George, British Columbia, was pulled over around 9 a.m. on Sept. 5 as he piloted a hot pink kids' Barbie Jeep down a busy road, WJW-TV reported. During the stop, police realized Lincoln had a suspended license, and he tested over the legal limit for alcohol. Lincoln said he really wanted a Slurpee, so he took his girlfriend's daughter's car. "I never drove it before," he said. "I was using the hand signals and everything!" But attorney Kyla Lee said Lincoln's caper poses "a huge safety risk. Nobody wants to hit somebody in a Barbie car, and drivers aren't looking for Barbie cars in the roadway." Lincoln was charged with prohibited driving and DUI. [WJW, 9/16/2025]

News You Can Use

Wild burros, a federally protected species, are being targeted in inland California, the Associated Press reported. On Sept. 9, a female burro, now called Cupid, was spotted with an arrow protruding from her right shoulder. Animal services and the Riverside County Sheriff's Department worked together to bring her in for emergency surgery. At least six donkeys have been shot with arrows since June, the Peaceful Valley Donkey Rescue group said. The group is offering a $24,000 reward for information about who is shooting the donkeys. In the meantime, Cupid is recovering from surgery and will be returned to her herd when she is well. [AP, 9/16/2025]