Perhaps it was the stress of speaking in front of others. Perhaps it was just a call to a higher Michael Jackson. On Sept. 2 in Cranford, New Jersey, resident Will Thilly appeared at a town hall meeting to ask questions about a recent property tax hike, WABC-TV reported. But before he uttered a word, he performed a wordless robot dance, without music, and spun on the floor. Then he asked, "How was everyone's weekend?" He went on to ask a few specific questions about taxes and school expenses, then gathered his papers from the podium and moonwalked back to his seat. Oh -- and Thilly is a candidate for the Cranford township committee. "I hope to bring a friendly, stress-free way of our committee when dealing with the public," he says on his website. [WABC, 9/4/2025]

Fail

Hopes were dashed into the sweet winds on Oct. 2 as the Dolce Vento was launched into the water off the coast of Zonguldak, Turkey, the New York Post reported. The $1 million, 85-foot yacht slipped into the water and almost immediately started listing to its port side before sinking. The new owner, captain and two crew members were able to jump overboard and swim to the nearby shore without injury. Shipyard officials said the cause of the sinking was under investigation. [NY Post, 9/3/2025]

Bad Dog!

Registered sex offender Rodney Platthy, 46, has been working at a pet store in Clearwater, Florida, The Smoking Gun reported. His job is to wear an inflatable puppy costume and stand outside the store to lure in pet lovers. But on Aug. 29, Platthy and the store owner got into it with several "juveniles (riding) by on bicycles." It wasn't their first beef with the kids, and as one of them tried to ride away, Platthy "approached the victim from behind and placed him in a chokehold," police said. The victim told police he couldn't breathe for a brief period. Platthy was arrested for battery by strangulation and ordered to have no contact with the victim; he posted a $10,000 bond. [The Smoking Gun, 9/3/2025]

What's in a Name?

-- This week's winner of Best Name for a Credit Card Fraud Suspect is Alec Bogus, 33, of Aurora, Colorado. Bogus gets bonus points for his attempted escape from law enforcement on Aug. 26, when he was approached at the Indian Hot Springs resort in Idaho Springs, Colorado. According to CBS News, Bogus, who also had an outstanding felony warrant from Douglas County, was just exiting the mud bath wearing only a Speedo when officers arrived. He ran up a wooded mountainside and tried to hide in a shed, but he was recovered a short time later still covered in mud. His charges included assault on a peace officer and resisting arrest. [CBS News, 8/28/2025]

-- Indianapolis-based bankruptcy attorney Mark S. Zuckerberg is suing Meta, the company of Mark E. Zuckerberg, because the former's Facebook page keeps getting shut down, WTHR-TV reported on Sept. 4. "It's not funny," the attorney said. Meta has been accusing him of impersonating a celebrity and using a false name, "which I've had way longer than he has," he said. "I'd rather not pick a fight with them, but I don't know how else to make them stop." He said his business account has been removed five times and his personal account four. "It's not right and they need to stop," he said. And so, they have: Meta confirmed that Zuckerberg's account is back up after being "disabled in error." [WTHR, 9/4/2025]

That Rule Doesn't Apply to Me

A court in Germany has ruled that an unnamed teacher who has been on sick leave for 16 years must prove that she is ill, Metro News reported on Aug. 23. Since 2009, the female teacher has been drawing her full salary in spite of not working at all. When the education authority in North Rhine-Westphalia demanded that she take a medical test, she sued. But the court called her case "truly incomprehensible" and ruled that the employer had the right to call for the test. Andreas Bartsch, president of the state's teachers' union, called her behavior "completely abysmal." [Metro News, 8/23/2025]

Maybe the Hyenas Ate Your Groomsman

Nicolas Hohls, 27, of Harburg, KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa, was camping at Cape Vidal Nature Reserve in St. Lucia, South Africa, on Aug. 30 when he got unexpected overnight visitors. Hohls was there with his dad and others for a bachelor party, People magazine reported. After settling in his tent, he woke up to two hyenas attacking him -- one focused on his face, the other on his ankle. "I fought them off by ... attacking the eyes of one and forcing my hand down the throat of the other," Hohls said. His dad heard him screaming and rushed him to a hospital, where doctors say a full recovery will take about a month. "I'm doing a lot better. The doctors are happy with my progress," he said. [People, 9/3/2025]

Awkward

Police in Canton, Connecticut, are searching for the owners of a silver urn containing cremated remains that was left along a running trail near the Canton Department of Public Works, WFSB-TV reported on Sept. 4. Authorities report that they tried to open the urn, but it appears to be sealed shut. Officers hope whoever misplaced the object will come forward to retrieve it. [WFSB, 9/4/2025]

It's a Mystery

Over the Labor Day weekend, hikers on Huron Peak in Colorado got a special surprise when they reached the summit of the 14,000-foot-plus mountain, the Associated Press reported. Seated in a camping chair, wearing an ice cream cone costume and sunglasses with a fake mustache, was an unnamed man who had hauled up ice cream sandwiches in a pack with dry ice. One hiker dubbed him "legend dairy" for rewarding climbers with the sweet treat. "Ice cream was just kind of what we wanted," said Blaine Griffin. Griffin said he saw the man zooming down the mountain once the ice cream was gone, sans costume. [AP, 9/4/2025]

LEAD STORY -- Bad Attitude

Ralphie VI, aka Ember, is the mascot of the University of Colorado Buffaloes -- or was, until she became "indifferent to running," The Athletic reported on Aug. 26. The tradition of the bison charging ahead of the CU football team at the beginning of the game started in 1967; they typically also run at the start of the second half. The animals and their handlers can reach speeds of up to 25 mph, and Ralphie V once got so excited she pulled loose from her guide ropes at the start of a game. But Ember is just not that into it, the school said. "It was determined that it was in Ember's best interest ... to focus on relaxing strolls in the pasture, which is her favorite hobby," a statement read. A succession plan has been in place for months, but it's not known when Ralphie VII will take the field. [The Athletic, 8/26/2025]

The Way the World Works

The Apple Valley (Minnesota) High School Eagles have been forced to switch some of their fall evening soccer and football games to daytime, thanks to some fellow birds of prey, the Associated Press reported on Aug. 22. A pair of ospreys built a large nest in the stadium lights at the sports field this summer, populating it with at least four eggs, according to the state Department of Natural Resources. The agency is monitoring the growth of the chicks; once they're old enough to fly away, crews can relocate the nest and switch on the lights. [AP, 8/22/2025]

The Foreign Press

This year marks the 80th anniversary of Tomatina -- Bunol, Spain's messy festival where revelers hurl overripe tomatoes at one another for an hour. The event on Aug. 27 drew about 20,000 people who smashed about 120 tons of tomatoes onto each other, the Associated Press reported. The tradition started as a diversion for children but now includes all ages; the tomatoes aren't wasted, organizers say, because they don't meet the quality standards for consumption. [AP, 8/27/2025]

Wait, What?

Fox Business reported on Aug. 21 that a U.K. snack company launched corn chips this summer that taste like ... licking a 9-volt battery. Apparently, this was a fad in the 1990s: getting an electric tingle by licking a battery. "Rewind now offers a snackable way to revisit one of the '90s weirdest shared experiences -- no batteries required," the company said. A spokesperson said the chips deliver a "very hard-hitting acidic zing to the tongue, followed up by some salty metallic notes." Oh, and by the way, "We do not recommend or condone licking, biting or otherwise ingesting real batteries," the company clarified. For now, the chips are only available in Dutch retail outlets. [Fox Business, 8/21/2025]

It's a Dirty Job

Marineland Antibes in France has closed, but two of its orcas are waiting for a decision on their new home, the BBC reported. In the meantime, Wikie, 24, and her son, Keijo, 11, are being cared for by their trainers. And by "cared for," we mean extra loving attention. Managers at the facility are defending their decision to have trainers manually "sexually stimulate" Keijo once a month to relieve his tension and prevent him from inbreeding with his mother. "Although spectacular, this is natural and totally painless for the animals," they say. However, activist groups are condemning the practice, calling it "perverse." [BBC, 8/23/2025]

Inappropriate Behavior

-- Cleo Williams Jr., 44, of Leavenworth, Kansas, was found guilty on Aug. 25 of sexual battery against a law enforcement officer, KAKE-TV reported. During a domestic disturbance call late last year at a Leavenworth apartment complex, Williams kissed an officer's neck as he was being arrested, which apparently is frowned upon. "Any form of inappropriate physical contact, including kissing, is unacceptable," noted Leavenworth County Attorney Todd Thompson. Williams will be sentenced in September. [KAKE, 8/26/2025]

-- Nichola Corr, 51, of Suffolk, England, has received $4,700 in compensation from the Suffolk Police after an incident during a raid at her home, Metro News reported. Corr said police were searching her home as part of an investigation involving a relative when their body cameras recorded them acting like "children in a playground," tossing a G-string back and forth and fondling erotic gadgets she had in a basket. "A young female officer ... started pulling all the things out, saying, 'Oh, this is sticky!'" Corr said. She requested the bodycam footage after seeing her G-string on her pillow. A police spokesperson said the investigation "determined the officers' behavior was deemed to be unacceptable and unprofessional, but was considered to be more due to immaturity than spite." [Metro News, 8/26/2025]

Florida

On Aug. 22 at Westside High School in Jacksonville, Florida, a pep rally included a rousing game of musical chairs, News4Jax-TV reported. So rousing that 16-year-old Nyla Millikin suffered a concussion and bruised ribs when a male teacher allegedly slammed her to the floor during the final round. As seen in video taken at the rally, the teacher jumped up to celebrate his win even as two people helped the student up. Nyla's mom, Joanna Millikin, has retained a lawyer in the wake of the incident. Attorney Gary Englander said, "The teacher should never have put his hands on her and taken her to the ground." While the teacher has not been charged yet, the mother wants to accuse him of assault. The district said he has been "reassigned to duties without student contact." [News4Jax, 8/27/2025]

Field Report

Firefighters battling a wildfire in North Yorkshire, England, are struggling with a large number of World War II bombs and tank shells that were left behind in the area, the BBC reported on Aug. 27. County Chief Fire Officer Jonathan Dyson said the area was a training ground in the 1940s and previously hidden explosives had been detonating in the fire. "We have now experienced over 18 ordnance explosions within key areas," he said. Firefighters and local farmers and business owners have been tackling the blaze since Aug. 11. [BBC, 8/27/2025]

Suspicions Confirmed

Emely Martinez, 35, of Pinellas Park, Florida, is not a dentist, Yahoo! Entertainment reported on Aug. 26. Nonetheless, she allegedly called herself a "veneer technician" at Tapp Inn Beauty Bar and charged $3,000 for a full set of veneers, which she secured to patients' teeth with superglue. (Actual veneers can cost $1,000 per tooth.) Her victims suffered from infections and damaged teeth and had to undergo emergency (real) dental work. Martinez was unlicensed and had no formal training, police said. She was charged with fraud and practicing dentistry without a license. [Yahoo! Entertainment, 8/26/2025]

Smooth Reaction

A customer at Las Postas Cafe-Bar in Los Palacios y Villafranca, Spain, became enraged on Aug. 20 when he asked for mayonnaise for his sandwich and was told the restaurant didn't have any mayonnaise -- or any ketchup. The Mirror reported that surveillance video from the restaurant shows the 50-year-old man leaving the establishment and returning a few minutes later after visiting a gas station nearby. He asked waiters again if they had mayonnaise, then sprayed the bar with fuel and set it on fire. Customers ran for safety, and the blaze caused about $8,200 worth of damage. "There's no explanation for what happened. It was awful," said cafe owner Jose Antonio Caballero. The unnamed customer was arrested in a nearby square and taken to a health center for burns on his left arm. [Mirror, 8/22/2025]

Aug. 16 was just another happy Saturday at the Northeast Elementary School playground in Vernon, Connecticut -- until it wasn't. A 40-year-old man who became trapped in a tube slide had to be rescued by the Town of Vernon Fire Department, WKRC-TV reported. When first responders arrived, the unnamed man was stuck in the middle of the slide. He was provided oxygen, and ventilation was set up to cool the space. After about 30 minutes, which included taking the slide apart, the man was rescued and refused medical care or transport to a hospital. [WKRC, 8/19/2025]

Least Competent Criminal

-- Those pesky home surveillance videos. The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department took a missing person report on Aug. 12 in regard to Sheylla Cabrera, 33, KTLA-TV reported. But the next day, as detectives viewed video from a neighbor's Ring doorbell, they spied Cabrera's husband, 36-year-old Jossimar Cabrera, struggling to pull a heavy sack or sheet away from the home. Three days later, a sack containing Sheylla's body was found in the Angeles National Forest. Jossimar allegedly fled to Peru, where local authorities picked him up, then released him pending charges. The couple's three children were also found safe in Peru. [KTLA, 8/19/2025]

-- Only in Iowa could you be arrested for "simulated public intoxication." KCRG-TV reported that on Aug. 18, Fayette County Sheriff's deputies were called about individuals lying in a ditch around 5:30 a.m. Kalab Barker, 31, was the only one still around when officers arrived; he was arrested and charged with the dubious crime of pretending to be drunk. [KCRG, 8/19/2025]

-- In Hillsborough County (Florida), a drone crashed into a home around 1:30 a.m. on Aug. 19, Fox5-TV reported. The homeowners retrieved the drone from the backyard before the drone's owner, Jason Brooks, 49, knocked on the front door, at which point they called police. Sheriff Chad Chronister said the homeowner found a cloth bag attached to the drone, with four other bags inside. "Three bags with fentanyl powder and one bag of methamphetamine," Chronister said. "Each bag has a person's name written on the bag." When deputies arrived, they found Brooks outside. He told them he was flying his drone and "I believe it crashed in this area, and I'm going in the backyard trying to find my drone." Brooks is a 15-time convicted felon; he was charged with possession with intent to sell or deliver, among other charges, and held without bond. [Fox5, 8/20/2925]

But Why?

-- As landscaper Brian Hanson mowed a lawn in St. Petersburg, Florida, on Aug. 14, he was interrupted by a man in full jester costume approaching him with a 12-inch dagger, The Smoking Gun reported. Hanson positioned his mower between him and the threatening cosplayer, Anthony Marzola, 51, who lives nearby. Marzola was allegedly unhappy about the sound of the mower and yelled at Hanson that he "cannot be mowing." Police believe Marzola's get-up may be related to his business, the Psychedelic Jester smoke shop; why he was in full costume at home was not explained. He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. [The Smoking Gun, 8/15/2025]

-- David Hampson, 54 -- known to locals as "Silent Man" -- has been arrested again in Swansea, Wales, for standing in the middle of busy roads in the city, the Telegraph reported on Aug. 12. By "again," we mean for the 12th time. Hampson, who has no fixed address, has been repeating his strange behavior since 2014, but he won't explain himself to law enforcement or health officials and won't even confirm his name in court. But he's not mute, his brother said: "He never stops talking. He's a spoilt brat. He just does it to have a comfy life inside prison." [Telegraph, 8/12/2025]

Well-Done

Firefighters with the Doolittle (Missouri) Rural Fire Protection District responded to a truck fire on Aug. 18, Fox5-TV reported. Inside the trailer was 40,000 pounds of rib-eye steaks -- which, while a total loss, had to smell AMAZING! Probationary firefighter Jenna Ulrich, the only vegan in the department, fought her first fire that morning alongside her dad, Glenn Ulrich. [Fox5, 8/20/2025]

Suspicions Confirmed

-- The Wynn Encore resort in Las Vegas and nightclub DJ Gryffin got punked when Justin Bieber impersonator Dylan Desclos, 29, showed up at the venue, Huff Post reported on Aug. 19. The pseudo-Bieber danced and partied, allegedly racking up a $10,000 bar bill, before his "team" alerted Gryffin that he wanted to perform "Sorry," one of his big hits. "Dark venue and loud music didn't help here," Gryffin posted after discovering he'd been had. A spokesperson for the Wynn Encore said Desclos had been granted access to the stage after an "elaborate and multistep ruse by him and his advance team." The resort banned him for life after learning he wasn't really Bieber. [Huff Post, 8/19/2025]

-- When Fujiyoshi Shindo, 93, was found dead in his home in Daisen, Japan, on Aug. 18, police initially suspected he had been mauled by a bear, The Japan Times reported. Bear sightings have become more common in northern Japan; more than 200 people were attacked in the 12 months leading up to March 2024. But as investigators looked into the incident further, they found that the man's wounds were more consistent with a knife attack. On Aug. 19, his son, Fujiyuki Shindo, 51, was arrested for allegedly murdering his elderly father. The younger man lived with his parents, and detectives seized several knives from the home in an effort to identify the murder weapon. [Japan Times, 8/20/2025]

The Tech Revolution

Visitors to Judong No. 3 Park in Jung-gu, Seoul, South Korea, may rub their eyes when they see a life-size, uniformed policeman, Oddity Central reported on Aug. 15. That's because the officer is a 3D hologram that patrols between 7 and 10 p.m., assuring people that "in emergencies, the police will respond immediately" and "there are surveillance cameras everywhere." The specterlike officers are intended to increase people's perception of safety, and since their installation in October, data show they've had a significant impact on crime in the park, decreasing incidents by 22%. [Oddity Central, 8/15/2025]

Smooth Reaction

Last week, News of the Weird reported on a group of teenagers sought by police in East Greenbush, New York, for pulling ding-dong-ditch pranks on residents. So it was only a matter of time until things escalated. According to KDFW-TV, in Frisco, Texas, 58-year-old Damon Wolfe "ran out into the street, fired shots at a vehicle as it was coming his direction and as it had already passed him," police said, after the three teenagers in the car had ding-dong-ditched Wolfe's house in late July. Police discovered the car had three bullet holes in it, and the kids admitted the prank. Police Chief David Shilson called the incident "completely senseless and avoidable had better decisions been made by all involved." [KDFW, 8/18/2025]

Inappropriate Behavior

Turkish authorities are searching for a "foreign tourist" who offended "the nation's moral values" when she performed a pole dance on a Turkish flagpole, AFP reported on Aug. 21. The case was opened after a 12-second video was posted to social media showing a woman wearing leggings and a T-shirt while dancing. "The governor's office is closely monitoring this heinous incident," the governorate said in a statement. The offenses carry jail terms of at least two years. [AFP, 8/21/2025]