LEAD STORY -- Bad Attitude

Ralphie VI, aka Ember, is the mascot of the University of Colorado Buffaloes -- or was, until she became "indifferent to running," The Athletic reported on Aug. 26. The tradition of the bison charging ahead of the CU football team at the beginning of the game started in 1967; they typically also run at the start of the second half. The animals and their handlers can reach speeds of up to 25 mph, and Ralphie V once got so excited she pulled loose from her guide ropes at the start of a game. But Ember is just not that into it, the school said. "It was determined that it was in Ember's best interest ... to focus on relaxing strolls in the pasture, which is her favorite hobby," a statement read. A succession plan has been in place for months, but it's not known when Ralphie VII will take the field. [The Athletic, 8/26/2025]

The Way the World Works

The Apple Valley (Minnesota) High School Eagles have been forced to switch some of their fall evening soccer and football games to daytime, thanks to some fellow birds of prey, the Associated Press reported on Aug. 22. A pair of ospreys built a large nest in the stadium lights at the sports field this summer, populating it with at least four eggs, according to the state Department of Natural Resources. The agency is monitoring the growth of the chicks; once they're old enough to fly away, crews can relocate the nest and switch on the lights. [AP, 8/22/2025]

The Foreign Press

This year marks the 80th anniversary of Tomatina -- Bunol, Spain's messy festival where revelers hurl overripe tomatoes at one another for an hour. The event on Aug. 27 drew about 20,000 people who smashed about 120 tons of tomatoes onto each other, the Associated Press reported. The tradition started as a diversion for children but now includes all ages; the tomatoes aren't wasted, organizers say, because they don't meet the quality standards for consumption. [AP, 8/27/2025]

Wait, What?

Fox Business reported on Aug. 21 that a U.K. snack company launched corn chips this summer that taste like ... licking a 9-volt battery. Apparently, this was a fad in the 1990s: getting an electric tingle by licking a battery. "Rewind now offers a snackable way to revisit one of the '90s weirdest shared experiences -- no batteries required," the company said. A spokesperson said the chips deliver a "very hard-hitting acidic zing to the tongue, followed up by some salty metallic notes." Oh, and by the way, "We do not recommend or condone licking, biting or otherwise ingesting real batteries," the company clarified. For now, the chips are only available in Dutch retail outlets. [Fox Business, 8/21/2025]

It's a Dirty Job

Marineland Antibes in France has closed, but two of its orcas are waiting for a decision on their new home, the BBC reported. In the meantime, Wikie, 24, and her son, Keijo, 11, are being cared for by their trainers. And by "cared for," we mean extra loving attention. Managers at the facility are defending their decision to have trainers manually "sexually stimulate" Keijo once a month to relieve his tension and prevent him from inbreeding with his mother. "Although spectacular, this is natural and totally painless for the animals," they say. However, activist groups are condemning the practice, calling it "perverse." [BBC, 8/23/2025]

Inappropriate Behavior

-- Cleo Williams Jr., 44, of Leavenworth, Kansas, was found guilty on Aug. 25 of sexual battery against a law enforcement officer, KAKE-TV reported. During a domestic disturbance call late last year at a Leavenworth apartment complex, Williams kissed an officer's neck as he was being arrested, which apparently is frowned upon. "Any form of inappropriate physical contact, including kissing, is unacceptable," noted Leavenworth County Attorney Todd Thompson. Williams will be sentenced in September. [KAKE, 8/26/2025]

-- Nichola Corr, 51, of Suffolk, England, has received $4,700 in compensation from the Suffolk Police after an incident during a raid at her home, Metro News reported. Corr said police were searching her home as part of an investigation involving a relative when their body cameras recorded them acting like "children in a playground," tossing a G-string back and forth and fondling erotic gadgets she had in a basket. "A young female officer ... started pulling all the things out, saying, 'Oh, this is sticky!'" Corr said. She requested the bodycam footage after seeing her G-string on her pillow. A police spokesperson said the investigation "determined the officers' behavior was deemed to be unacceptable and unprofessional, but was considered to be more due to immaturity than spite." [Metro News, 8/26/2025]

Florida

On Aug. 22 at Westside High School in Jacksonville, Florida, a pep rally included a rousing game of musical chairs, News4Jax-TV reported. So rousing that 16-year-old Nyla Millikin suffered a concussion and bruised ribs when a male teacher allegedly slammed her to the floor during the final round. As seen in video taken at the rally, the teacher jumped up to celebrate his win even as two people helped the student up. Nyla's mom, Joanna Millikin, has retained a lawyer in the wake of the incident. Attorney Gary Englander said, "The teacher should never have put his hands on her and taken her to the ground." While the teacher has not been charged yet, the mother wants to accuse him of assault. The district said he has been "reassigned to duties without student contact." [News4Jax, 8/27/2025]

Field Report

Firefighters battling a wildfire in North Yorkshire, England, are struggling with a large number of World War II bombs and tank shells that were left behind in the area, the BBC reported on Aug. 27. County Chief Fire Officer Jonathan Dyson said the area was a training ground in the 1940s and previously hidden explosives had been detonating in the fire. "We have now experienced over 18 ordnance explosions within key areas," he said. Firefighters and local farmers and business owners have been tackling the blaze since Aug. 11. [BBC, 8/27/2025]

Suspicions Confirmed

Emely Martinez, 35, of Pinellas Park, Florida, is not a dentist, Yahoo! Entertainment reported on Aug. 26. Nonetheless, she allegedly called herself a "veneer technician" at Tapp Inn Beauty Bar and charged $3,000 for a full set of veneers, which she secured to patients' teeth with superglue. (Actual veneers can cost $1,000 per tooth.) Her victims suffered from infections and damaged teeth and had to undergo emergency (real) dental work. Martinez was unlicensed and had no formal training, police said. She was charged with fraud and practicing dentistry without a license. [Yahoo! Entertainment, 8/26/2025]

Smooth Reaction

A customer at Las Postas Cafe-Bar in Los Palacios y Villafranca, Spain, became enraged on Aug. 20 when he asked for mayonnaise for his sandwich and was told the restaurant didn't have any mayonnaise -- or any ketchup. The Mirror reported that surveillance video from the restaurant shows the 50-year-old man leaving the establishment and returning a few minutes later after visiting a gas station nearby. He asked waiters again if they had mayonnaise, then sprayed the bar with fuel and set it on fire. Customers ran for safety, and the blaze caused about $8,200 worth of damage. "There's no explanation for what happened. It was awful," said cafe owner Jose Antonio Caballero. The unnamed customer was arrested in a nearby square and taken to a health center for burns on his left arm. [Mirror, 8/22/2025]

Aug. 16 was just another happy Saturday at the Northeast Elementary School playground in Vernon, Connecticut -- until it wasn't. A 40-year-old man who became trapped in a tube slide had to be rescued by the Town of Vernon Fire Department, WKRC-TV reported. When first responders arrived, the unnamed man was stuck in the middle of the slide. He was provided oxygen, and ventilation was set up to cool the space. After about 30 minutes, which included taking the slide apart, the man was rescued and refused medical care or transport to a hospital. [WKRC, 8/19/2025]

Least Competent Criminal

-- Those pesky home surveillance videos. The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department took a missing person report on Aug. 12 in regard to Sheylla Cabrera, 33, KTLA-TV reported. But the next day, as detectives viewed video from a neighbor's Ring doorbell, they spied Cabrera's husband, 36-year-old Jossimar Cabrera, struggling to pull a heavy sack or sheet away from the home. Three days later, a sack containing Sheylla's body was found in the Angeles National Forest. Jossimar allegedly fled to Peru, where local authorities picked him up, then released him pending charges. The couple's three children were also found safe in Peru. [KTLA, 8/19/2025]

-- Only in Iowa could you be arrested for "simulated public intoxication." KCRG-TV reported that on Aug. 18, Fayette County Sheriff's deputies were called about individuals lying in a ditch around 5:30 a.m. Kalab Barker, 31, was the only one still around when officers arrived; he was arrested and charged with the dubious crime of pretending to be drunk. [KCRG, 8/19/2025]

-- In Hillsborough County (Florida), a drone crashed into a home around 1:30 a.m. on Aug. 19, Fox5-TV reported. The homeowners retrieved the drone from the backyard before the drone's owner, Jason Brooks, 49, knocked on the front door, at which point they called police. Sheriff Chad Chronister said the homeowner found a cloth bag attached to the drone, with four other bags inside. "Three bags with fentanyl powder and one bag of methamphetamine," Chronister said. "Each bag has a person's name written on the bag." When deputies arrived, they found Brooks outside. He told them he was flying his drone and "I believe it crashed in this area, and I'm going in the backyard trying to find my drone." Brooks is a 15-time convicted felon; he was charged with possession with intent to sell or deliver, among other charges, and held without bond. [Fox5, 8/20/2925]

But Why?

-- As landscaper Brian Hanson mowed a lawn in St. Petersburg, Florida, on Aug. 14, he was interrupted by a man in full jester costume approaching him with a 12-inch dagger, The Smoking Gun reported. Hanson positioned his mower between him and the threatening cosplayer, Anthony Marzola, 51, who lives nearby. Marzola was allegedly unhappy about the sound of the mower and yelled at Hanson that he "cannot be mowing." Police believe Marzola's get-up may be related to his business, the Psychedelic Jester smoke shop; why he was in full costume at home was not explained. He was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. [The Smoking Gun, 8/15/2025]

-- David Hampson, 54 -- known to locals as "Silent Man" -- has been arrested again in Swansea, Wales, for standing in the middle of busy roads in the city, the Telegraph reported on Aug. 12. By "again," we mean for the 12th time. Hampson, who has no fixed address, has been repeating his strange behavior since 2014, but he won't explain himself to law enforcement or health officials and won't even confirm his name in court. But he's not mute, his brother said: "He never stops talking. He's a spoilt brat. He just does it to have a comfy life inside prison." [Telegraph, 8/12/2025]

Well-Done

Firefighters with the Doolittle (Missouri) Rural Fire Protection District responded to a truck fire on Aug. 18, Fox5-TV reported. Inside the trailer was 40,000 pounds of rib-eye steaks -- which, while a total loss, had to smell AMAZING! Probationary firefighter Jenna Ulrich, the only vegan in the department, fought her first fire that morning alongside her dad, Glenn Ulrich. [Fox5, 8/20/2025]

Suspicions Confirmed

-- The Wynn Encore resort in Las Vegas and nightclub DJ Gryffin got punked when Justin Bieber impersonator Dylan Desclos, 29, showed up at the venue, Huff Post reported on Aug. 19. The pseudo-Bieber danced and partied, allegedly racking up a $10,000 bar bill, before his "team" alerted Gryffin that he wanted to perform "Sorry," one of his big hits. "Dark venue and loud music didn't help here," Gryffin posted after discovering he'd been had. A spokesperson for the Wynn Encore said Desclos had been granted access to the stage after an "elaborate and multistep ruse by him and his advance team." The resort banned him for life after learning he wasn't really Bieber. [Huff Post, 8/19/2025]

-- When Fujiyoshi Shindo, 93, was found dead in his home in Daisen, Japan, on Aug. 18, police initially suspected he had been mauled by a bear, The Japan Times reported. Bear sightings have become more common in northern Japan; more than 200 people were attacked in the 12 months leading up to March 2024. But as investigators looked into the incident further, they found that the man's wounds were more consistent with a knife attack. On Aug. 19, his son, Fujiyuki Shindo, 51, was arrested for allegedly murdering his elderly father. The younger man lived with his parents, and detectives seized several knives from the home in an effort to identify the murder weapon. [Japan Times, 8/20/2025]

The Tech Revolution

Visitors to Judong No. 3 Park in Jung-gu, Seoul, South Korea, may rub their eyes when they see a life-size, uniformed policeman, Oddity Central reported on Aug. 15. That's because the officer is a 3D hologram that patrols between 7 and 10 p.m., assuring people that "in emergencies, the police will respond immediately" and "there are surveillance cameras everywhere." The specterlike officers are intended to increase people's perception of safety, and since their installation in October, data show they've had a significant impact on crime in the park, decreasing incidents by 22%. [Oddity Central, 8/15/2025]

Smooth Reaction

Last week, News of the Weird reported on a group of teenagers sought by police in East Greenbush, New York, for pulling ding-dong-ditch pranks on residents. So it was only a matter of time until things escalated. According to KDFW-TV, in Frisco, Texas, 58-year-old Damon Wolfe "ran out into the street, fired shots at a vehicle as it was coming his direction and as it had already passed him," police said, after the three teenagers in the car had ding-dong-ditched Wolfe's house in late July. Police discovered the car had three bullet holes in it, and the kids admitted the prank. Police Chief David Shilson called the incident "completely senseless and avoidable had better decisions been made by all involved." [KDFW, 8/18/2025]

Inappropriate Behavior

Turkish authorities are searching for a "foreign tourist" who offended "the nation's moral values" when she performed a pole dance on a Turkish flagpole, AFP reported on Aug. 21. The case was opened after a 12-second video was posted to social media showing a woman wearing leggings and a T-shirt while dancing. "The governor's office is closely monitoring this heinous incident," the governorate said in a statement. The offenses carry jail terms of at least two years. [AFP, 8/21/2025]

The South China Morning Post reported on Aug. 5 that adults in China are turning to pacifiers to ease their stress, improve sleep and stop smoking. The adult binkies are larger than the infant models and come in different colors, and shops say they're selling more than 2,000 each month. "It's high quality, soft, and I feel comfortable sucking it," said one buyer. "It does not impede my breathing." But Chengdu dentist Tang Caomin isn't a fan: "By sucking the dummy for more than three hours a day, the position of your teeth might change after a year." [SCMP, 8/5/2025]

Nope

-- Talk about rodents of unusual size. A giant rat -- perhaps the biggest ever caught in the United Kingdom -- was recently captured in North Yorkshire, reported The Independent on Aug. 5. The rodent, removed by exterminators from a home in the Greater Eston area, measured 22 inches long and was described as “almost the size of a small cat.” (For reference, rats in the U.K. usually stay under 11 inches, on average.) Some local leaders say pest issues have dramatically worsened since the end of free services for residents in the area. Eston ward councilor David Taylor said the rodents were becoming “brazen,” adding, "The longer this is ignored, the worse it will get.” [The Independent, 8/5/2025]

-- In Fort Collins, Colorado, residents have reported seeing rabbits with black, tentaclelike protrusions on their heads, KUSA-TV reported. Colorado Parks and Wildlife said the horny growths are caused by a virus that is not dangerous to humans or pets, but warned people not to touch them just the same. The "Frankenstein rabbits" are not in pain, CPW said, unless the spines grow on sensitive areas like the eyes. There is no known cure. [KUSA, 8/13/2025]

Recent Alarming Headlines

-- Dan Burton, owner of Urban Trapping Wildlife Control in Salinas, California, alerted officials of Monterey County and the California Department of Fish and Wildlife to a discovery he made while trapping wild pigs in early August. The Los Angeles Times reported that when Burton cut into one of the animals, he discovered that the flesh was ... off-color. "I'm not talking about a little blue," he said. "I'm talking about neon blue, blueberry blue." Fish and wildlife officials say the blue flesh is probably caused by exposure to a poison popularly used by farmers to control rats, mice, squirrels and other rodents. They are warning trappers and hunters not to consume the blue flesh, and some of the poison traps have been pulled from the fields because of pigs seeking them out. [LA Times, 8/5/2025]

-- The Missouri Department of Health and Human Services is warning visitors to the Lake of the Ozarks about a rare "brain-eating" infection called Naegleria fowleri, KSHB-TV reported on Aug. 13. A man who had been water skiing in the lake is now being treated in intensive care at a Missouri hospital, officials said. The infection enters the human body through the nose, then travels into the brain. [KSHB, 8/13/2025]

132 Days Until Christmas

Three Deutsche Post volunteers -- or elves, you might call them -- left St. Nikolaus, Germany, on Aug. 9 and started cycling toward Santa Claus Village in Finland, the Associated Press reported. The trio are carrying more than 30,000 letters and Christmas wish lists that have been delivered to the German village and are expected to arrive in roughly two weeks. The traditional journey dates back to 1967. [AP, 8/10/2025]

Unclear on the Concept

In reference to what seems like an obvious enough policy, Starbucks Korea has posted signs in all its shops across the country, warning customers that they may no longer bring desktop computers and printers to the locations to work. United Press International reported on Aug. 11 that Starbucks has also banned setting up large partitions and leaving valuables at a table for long periods of time. The targeted customers are known as "cagongjok," which combines the Korean words for "cafe," "study" and "tribe." Starbucks made the policy change after other customers complained about cafe squatters taking up too much space; laptops will still be welcomed. [UPI, 8/11/2025]

Crime Report

Everyone should be trying to move to East Greenbush, New York, where police have been busy chasing down the community's hardened criminals, WNYT-TV reported on Aug. 11. Officers have received multiple reports of juveniles playing "ding-dong-ditch" during overnight hours, they said. They called such aberrant behavior disruptive and a violation of state law. Police said if the kids are caught, their antics could lead to charges of harassment, trespassing and disorderly conduct. Zillow, here we come! [WNYT, 8/11/2025]

The Neighbors

Gary Boyadzhyan of Van Nuys, California, told KTLA-TV on Aug. 13 that he has a mysterious long-running grievance with the Los Angeles Police Department, and that's why he's been blasting home alarms and a train horn from his house for months. "He does this periodically several times during the day," said neighbor Bob Donovan. "It has a range of 3.5 miles. It's an actual train horn." Boyadzhyan says the horns are his way of getting LAPD's attention. "I do sincerely apologize to my neighbors," he said, "but I don't know what else to do." Neighbors are unclear about what kind of help the man needs to solve his problem, but they're at wits' end about the noise. But maybe a solution is on the way: Boyadzhyan was arrested on Aug. 13 on unknown charges. [KTLA, 8/13/2025]

Bright Idea

There's something in the water at Loch Ness in Scotland ... but it's not the famed monster. The Daily Record reported on Aug. 13 that Domino's Pizza has launched a delivery submarine that can reach speeds of 45mph and leap 5 meters out of the water. Pizza Delivery Innovation spokesperson Izzy Gardener said the company is "always looking for new and unexpected ways to deliver to our customers." Loch Ness seemed like a "perfect place to test the waters," Gardener said. [Daily Record, 8/13/2025]

Kids These Days

So, it's not enough to just play ding-dong-ditch in Laurens, South Carolina. WYFF-TV reported that on Aug. 9, two juveniles unlawfully entered railroad facilities and started an engine that was hooked to two other engines. Police said they drove the train engines around the yard before taking them onto a rail line that connects with Greenville. But when they tried to return to the rail yard, they collided with parked railroad cars and caused the derailment of the engine and damage to one of the parked cars. "This was a dangerous and reckless act," said Laurens Police Chief Heath Copeland. "Railroad property is not a place to play." [WYFF, 8/12/2025]

DON'T TOUCH THAT!

"A ground mishap" at Barnes Air National Guard Base in Westfield, Massachusetts, was likely caused by an unnamed passenger accidentally triggering an ejection from an F-15D Eagle on Aug. 12, The War Zone reported. After the plane had landed, video showed a puff of smoke and the backseat passenger crawling along the runway next to the aircraft. The canopy landed on the plane's wing. The 104th Fighter Wing released a statement saying that one service member was taken to a hospital for evaluation and the other had no injuries. [The War Zone, 8/14/2025]