DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I have been dating for eight years. We started a bit young, but I feel concerned that maybe he does not see himself marrying me anymore. We used to talk about marriage, especially because all his older siblings had partners and at family gatherings we’d talk about their timelines, and we’ve seen two of them get married in the past few years. I wonder if he’s changed his mind. I fear that these past years didn’t mean as much to him as they have to me. My fears and worries about this are creeping into my relationship, and sometimes I feel awkward and nervous around my partner, despite how comfortable we’ve always been. Honestly, though, I am afraid to know the truth. What if he has changed his mind? How will I feel if I ask and he admits that? How will I move on? -- End of the Road

DEAR END OF THE ROAD: Now is not the time to be silent. Drum up the courage to have a heart-to-heart talk with your boyfriend. If you want to get married, be prepared to tell him. Point out how long you two have been together and all that you have lived through. Put your stake in the ground. Tell him you are ready for the next step: making your bond official. Ask if he wants that as well. Be direct. This is your life you are talking about. You have every right to want to be clear about whether your partner wants the same thing as you. If he does not, it is better to know now so that you can move on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex and I broke up a few months ago after dating for nearly two years. It was a mutual decision, and while it was sad, we both agreed it was for the best. Since then, we’ve gone our separate ways and haven’t really stayed in touch, which I was OK with. The awkward part is that his mom keeps texting me to “check in.” She’ll send messages asking how I’m doing, complimenting things she’s seen on my social media or saying she misses having me around. Sometimes she even brings up her son and how she wishes we’d worked things out. I genuinely like her; she was always so kind to me, and I know her heart is in the right place, but it’s starting to feel uncomfortable. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but every time my phone buzzes with a text from her, it pulls me back into a relationship I’ve been trying to move on from. I also don’t want to make things awkward for my ex if he finds out we’re still in touch.

How can I politely set boundaries with his mom without seeming cold or disrespectful? Is there a way to end the contact gracefully, or should I just stop replying and hope she gets the hint? -- Releasing Mom

DEAR RELEASING MOM: The thing about relationships is that they involve more than just two people -- especially if they lasted a long time. A few months after a two-year relationship ended may feel fresh for his mom.

Speak to her and tell her how much you appreciate her, but admit that it’s hard for you to move on when she is continuing to try to keep you in the fold. Thank her for her loving support and ask her to release you. Tell her you and her son have moved on, and she must, too.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend always changes her story when it comes to small things, but I feel like the accumulation of all these small inconsistencies is starting to get to me. For example, she was just talking about how she plans to work at the company we both work at for five more years, but then not even two minutes later, she mentioned wanting to apply to grad school within the next year. It’s hard to keep up when her story changes so frequently, and sometimes I feel like I can’t tell what’s actually true.

It’s not just about work; she does this in other parts of her life, too. One week she’s talking about saving money and being serious about her goals, and the next she’s making impulsive plans that completely contradict what she said before. I don’t think she’s intentionally lying, but it’s starting to make me question her credibility and reliability.

I want to be a supportive friend, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m constantly trying to decode what’s real and what’s not. How can I bring this up without sounding judgmental or confrontational? I care about her, but I’m starting to lose patience. -- Inconsistent

DEAR INCONSISTENT: Sit down with your friend and let her know that she is confusing you. Give her a few examples of things she has passionately told you only to reverse moments later. Tell her it is hard for you to know when she’s serious, as she changes her mind so frequently. Admit that it is frustrating to you. Listen to how she responds.

Ultimately, you may have to back off a bit and not get so invested in her ideas, especially if they are consistently inconsistent. You can listen neutrally, not allow yourself to go down a rabbit hole to help and, instead, just be a sounding board.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend group of three, and lately I’ve noticed growing tension between my two other friends. They don’t seem to understand each other’s personalities, and it’s starting to create awkwardness whenever we hang out together. One of them is more outspoken and direct, while the other is quieter and tends to take things personally, so what might just be playful teasing to one feels like criticism to the other.

I find myself stuck in the middle, constantly trying to smooth things over or change the subject before things get uncomfortable. It’s exhausting because I care about both of them, but I don’t know how to help them get along without seeming like I’m taking sides. I’ve tried subtly hinting to each of them that the other doesn’t mean any harm, but it doesn’t seem to help. They both leave hangouts feeling frustrated. I miss when the three of us could have fun together without this underlying tension. Should I sit them down to talk things out, or is that overstepping? I don’t want to make things worse by forcing a confrontation, but I also don’t want to keep pretending everything’s fine when it clearly isn’t. -- Friction

DEAR FRICTION: Address the elephant in the room. Ask them individually why they are feuding. Invite them to discuss it all together. If they are unwilling or that doesn’t work, consider hanging out one on one with each of them for a while. That friend group may be history.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work from home, and my roommate does, too. At first, it wasn’t a big deal; we thought we could share the space easily and just use headphones when we had meetings. Lately, our schedules have started to clash, and we both end up taking video calls at the same time. Since our apartment is small, there’s no real privacy, and her voice often carries into my meetings. It’s gotten to the point where I find myself distracted, missing key points and feeling embarrassed when my manager comments on the background noise. I’ve tried dropping hints, like mentioning how hectic it gets when we both talk at once, but she never seems to pick up on it. She tends to brush it off and say, “Yeah, it’s just part of working from home,” but I don’t think she realizes how much it’s impacting my performance.

I’m starting to feel frustrated, but I don’t want to come across as controlling or make her feel like she can’t do her job. How do I bring this up in a way that’s direct but respectful? Should I suggest setting a shared schedule for meetings, or would that be overstepping? I value our friendship and our living situation, but something has to change before it starts affecting my work even more. -- Creating Structure

DEAR CREATING STRUCTURE: It sounds like you two need a practical solution to this problem. Remember: This issue could occur if you were in an office with a bank of desks and no door. What people in those situations do is to modulate their voices, speaking quietly enough to conduct meetings efficiently without overpowering the person sitting next to them.

Point out the obvious: You two are stepping on each other as you are doing your work. Suggest that you come up with a mutually beneficial plan that will help you both succeed. Start by agreeing to lower your voices. If you are able, come up with a general plan for when each of you will have video conferences or calls, and build them around time when the other might not also be on calls. Use a background image that keeps your environment neutral, and steal away to the bathroom or another corner of your apartment when you need a bit of privacy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I had a big argument, and now he won’t answer my calls or texts. The blowup was about how he never makes time to listen to me when I have issues, though I am there for him. Naturally, his reaction of backing off rather than apologizing hurt me deeply.

I saw him the other day in the neighborhood hanging out with his friends. I walked up and said hello. At first, he was a bit cold, but then he acted like everything was normal. What should I read from that? -- Can’t Read the Tea Leaves

DEAR CAN’T READ THE TEA LEAVES: Sounds like your boyfriend was friendly in person around friends, probably for show. He already showed you he’s not there for you when you need him. Believe him and move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)