DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend always changes her story when it comes to small things, but I feel like the accumulation of all these small inconsistencies is starting to get to me. For example, she was just talking about how she plans to work at the company we both work at for five more years, but then not even two minutes later, she mentioned wanting to apply to grad school within the next year. It’s hard to keep up when her story changes so frequently, and sometimes I feel like I can’t tell what’s actually true.

It’s not just about work; she does this in other parts of her life, too. One week she’s talking about saving money and being serious about her goals, and the next she’s making impulsive plans that completely contradict what she said before. I don’t think she’s intentionally lying, but it’s starting to make me question her credibility and reliability.

I want to be a supportive friend, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m constantly trying to decode what’s real and what’s not. How can I bring this up without sounding judgmental or confrontational? I care about her, but I’m starting to lose patience. -- Inconsistent

DEAR INCONSISTENT: Sit down with your friend and let her know that she is confusing you. Give her a few examples of things she has passionately told you only to reverse moments later. Tell her it is hard for you to know when she’s serious, as she changes her mind so frequently. Admit that it is frustrating to you. Listen to how she responds.

Ultimately, you may have to back off a bit and not get so invested in her ideas, especially if they are consistently inconsistent. You can listen neutrally, not allow yourself to go down a rabbit hole to help and, instead, just be a sounding board.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend group of three, and lately I’ve noticed growing tension between my two other friends. They don’t seem to understand each other’s personalities, and it’s starting to create awkwardness whenever we hang out together. One of them is more outspoken and direct, while the other is quieter and tends to take things personally, so what might just be playful teasing to one feels like criticism to the other.

I find myself stuck in the middle, constantly trying to smooth things over or change the subject before things get uncomfortable. It’s exhausting because I care about both of them, but I don’t know how to help them get along without seeming like I’m taking sides. I’ve tried subtly hinting to each of them that the other doesn’t mean any harm, but it doesn’t seem to help. They both leave hangouts feeling frustrated. I miss when the three of us could have fun together without this underlying tension. Should I sit them down to talk things out, or is that overstepping? I don’t want to make things worse by forcing a confrontation, but I also don’t want to keep pretending everything’s fine when it clearly isn’t. -- Friction

DEAR FRICTION: Address the elephant in the room. Ask them individually why they are feuding. Invite them to discuss it all together. If they are unwilling or that doesn’t work, consider hanging out one on one with each of them for a while. That friend group may be history.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I work from home, and my roommate does, too. At first, it wasn’t a big deal; we thought we could share the space easily and just use headphones when we had meetings. Lately, our schedules have started to clash, and we both end up taking video calls at the same time. Since our apartment is small, there’s no real privacy, and her voice often carries into my meetings. It’s gotten to the point where I find myself distracted, missing key points and feeling embarrassed when my manager comments on the background noise. I’ve tried dropping hints, like mentioning how hectic it gets when we both talk at once, but she never seems to pick up on it. She tends to brush it off and say, “Yeah, it’s just part of working from home,” but I don’t think she realizes how much it’s impacting my performance.

I’m starting to feel frustrated, but I don’t want to come across as controlling or make her feel like she can’t do her job. How do I bring this up in a way that’s direct but respectful? Should I suggest setting a shared schedule for meetings, or would that be overstepping? I value our friendship and our living situation, but something has to change before it starts affecting my work even more. -- Creating Structure

DEAR CREATING STRUCTURE: It sounds like you two need a practical solution to this problem. Remember: This issue could occur if you were in an office with a bank of desks and no door. What people in those situations do is to modulate their voices, speaking quietly enough to conduct meetings efficiently without overpowering the person sitting next to them.

Point out the obvious: You two are stepping on each other as you are doing your work. Suggest that you come up with a mutually beneficial plan that will help you both succeed. Start by agreeing to lower your voices. If you are able, come up with a general plan for when each of you will have video conferences or calls, and build them around time when the other might not also be on calls. Use a background image that keeps your environment neutral, and steal away to the bathroom or another corner of your apartment when you need a bit of privacy.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend and I had a big argument, and now he won’t answer my calls or texts. The blowup was about how he never makes time to listen to me when I have issues, though I am there for him. Naturally, his reaction of backing off rather than apologizing hurt me deeply.

I saw him the other day in the neighborhood hanging out with his friends. I walked up and said hello. At first, he was a bit cold, but then he acted like everything was normal. What should I read from that? -- Can’t Read the Tea Leaves

DEAR CAN’T READ THE TEA LEAVES: Sounds like your boyfriend was friendly in person around friends, probably for show. He already showed you he’s not there for you when you need him. Believe him and move on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved in with my boyfriend recently, and my parents are furious. I come from a traditional background where living together before marriage is considered shameful. My mother won’t speak to me, and my father told me he didn’t raise me this way. I understand their values, but I think this is a step toward building a healthy relationship before marriage. Still, their disappointment hurts, and part of me feels guilty for letting them down. How do I balance respecting my parents’ beliefs while still living my own life? Is there any way to bridge this gap, or do I just accept that we may never see eye to eye? -- Parent Expectations

DEAR PARENT EXPECTATIONS: While social mores have relaxed considerably in this country, that doesn’t mean everyone has fallen in line. For more religious people or those who follow traditional rules of the household, living together remains taboo. Historically, intimacy was to be reserved for couples after they married -- not before. There was to be no “trying it out” to see if two people are suited for each other.

You know this. It is unlikely that you will be able to get your parents to change their fundamental philosophies about life. What you can do is tell them that it was not your intention to dishonor them with your choices. Time will reveal whether you can live like this and have any relationship with them, or if it’s worth it for you to make your own choices and find happiness when your parents are so upset. Keep your eyes open. Talk to your boyfriend along the way. You two will need to stand united regarding your decision in order for you to have any peace.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love my best friend, but our friendship is beginning to feel transactional. Lately, she keeps “forgetting” to repay small loans -- for things like drinks, rideshares, movie tickets, etc. She always promises to send it later, but the payments never come. I’ve let it slide for months because it’s not like we’re talking about hundreds of dollars, but it’s starting to add up, and at this point, it feels like she’s taking advantage of me. I’m feeling a little resentful. How can I bring this up without sounding cheap or damaging the relationship? Or should I just start saying I don’t have it when she asks me to spot her and hope she gets the hint? -- Feeling Shortchanged

DEAR FEELING SHORTCHANGED: You say she’s your best friend. Find out what’s going on in her life. This represents a change of behavior. Did she lose her job? Does she suddenly have more expenses? What has happened? Ask her directly.

Frame it by recalling the truth. Tell her you have noticed that in recent weeks and months, she has asked you to spot her money more frequently, and she has never paid you back. Admit that this has left you feeling uncomfortable as this behavior is uncharacteristic of her. Ask her what’s going on or if she’s in trouble. Listen to learn. If the answer is unsatisfactory, stop giving her money moving forward.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)