DEAR HARRIETTE: The company I work for is known for having a great work-life balance and an overall positive culture -- that's one of the main reasons I accepted the job in the first place. Unfortunately, I seem to have ended up with one of the few managers who doesn’t follow that philosophy. She has a habit of coming in early and staying late, and I’ve noticed she expects me to do the same. Even if I’ve finished my tasks for the day, I feel pressured to stay just because she’s still in the office.

What’s been even more frustrating is that she often assigns me “urgent” projects or last-minute tasks during the final hour of the workday. These aren’t true emergencies; they’re things that could’ve easily been delegated earlier, but she phrases them as immediate priorities, so I can’t say no without seeming uncooperative. As a result, I’m constantly leaving late, exhausted, and feeling guilty for not speaking up.

It’s confusing because the rest of my team and other managers seem to have healthy boundaries and flexible schedules; it’s just my boss who seems to live at the office, and she expects me to match her pace. I’m worried that if I push back, she’ll think I’m not dedicated enough, but I don’t want to burn out or let this define my experience at a company I otherwise love. -- Off Balance

DEAR OFF BALANCE: Before saying anything, do some research. Are there any opportunities in other departments at your company? You may not be able to change your boss’s rhythm, but since you love the company, find out if there might be a better fit for you within it.

You can also speak to your boss. Tell her how much you want to do a great job, but you are struggling. Admit that you may not have the stamina to do the constant late nights and early mornings. Ask if she can attempt to give you your assignments in advance so that you can manage your time more efficiently.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My ex keeps popping up and treating my family members like they are his family members. We broke up over a year ago, and it was in part because I didn’t think he respected my boundaries. For example, he’d show up to milestone events with flowers and gifts, even if I told him in advance I wanted to be with friends or family only. It felt invasive. He never gave me the chance to welcome him into my life; he’d just storm his way in. Because he’s nice and would show up with gifts, a lot of my friends and loved ones mistook his visits as romantic gestures.

Now my ex has resurfaced. We have mutual friends, and when we see each other at local events, he still calls my family “mom” or “bro” or “sis.” It feels like he’s trying to hold his presence in my life. How do I set a hard boundary once and for all? -- Overzealous Ex

DEAR OVERZEALOUS EX: Tell your family and loved ones that he is stalking you, even though it seems friendly. Ask them to resist welcoming him when he comes around. Speak to him directly and tell him to back off. Your relationship is over, and you have moved on. You need him to do the same.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I started making pottery as a new hobby, and I love it, but my roommate keeps making jokes about how messy it is. She calls it a “mud factory” and even moves my supplies around without asking, which makes it hard for me to focus or enjoy my work. At first, I tried to laugh it off and tell myself it’s harmless teasing, but it’s starting to get under my skin. I look forward to pottery as a way to relax and express myself, and I feel like I shouldn’t have to feel embarrassed about something that brings me joy.

The tension has started to affect our overall living environment. Sometimes I catch myself avoiding my own hobby just to keep the peace, which makes me feel resentful and frustrated. I’ve tried dropping hints about needing space and respect, but my roommate doesn’t seem to take it seriously. I don’t want to start arguments or make our apartment uncomfortable, but I also don’t want to give up something that’s important to me. How can I set boundaries with my roommate in a way that feels firm but fair, and keep a positive and friendly living environment? -- Hobby Gone Wrong

DEAR HOBBY GONE WRONG: Where are you doing your pottery? This is likely your roommate’s problem. Pottery is a messy hobby that generates a lot of dust. It is typically something people do in a studio, garage or other enclosed area that is away from living space. If you have your wheel set up in a common area, your roommate is probably uncomfortable with that, and justifiably so. Find a place in your home that is separate from her -- even if it is in your personal bedroom. The only drawback there is that you really don’t want to breathe in that dust when you are sleeping. If you have an outdoor area, put it there.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have friends, but I don’t feel like I truly connect with them or have a strong bond like you see in the movies. We hang out and have fun, but something is missing -- like they don’t really get me on a deeper level. I see other people who seem to have soulmate-type friendships, where they can talk about anything and fully trust each other, and I can’t help but feel jealous. I wonder if I’m doing something wrong or if I haven’t met the right people yet.

How do I build more meaningful friendships that feel genuine and lasting? I try to open up more, but sometimes it feels like others aren’t as willing to go there emotionally. It makes me question if I’m expecting too much from my friendships or if I just haven’t found people who align with me. I want to feel seen and supported, not just have surface connections. Sometimes I find myself pulling back because I don’t want to seem needy or overly emotional. I just wish I knew how to create friendships that feel real and mutually fulfilling. -- Shallow

DEAR SHALLOW: Deep friendships grow over time -- sometimes years. You will be lucky to have one or two in a lifetime, and that’s OK. Rather than searching for something that may not be there right now, get to know the friends you have better and notice your synergies. Life is not the movies. Just be yourself and get closer to people naturally. Let it take however long it takes to blossom.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boyfriend recently moved in with me, and ever since then, my cat’s behavior has completely changed. She’s been acting out: scratching furniture, hiding for hours and even refusing to eat sometimes. She used to be calm and affectionate, but now she seems anxious and territorial. My partner is trying to be patient, but I can tell he’s getting frustrated, especially since the cat hisses at him whenever he walks by or tries to sit near me. It’s creating tension between us, and I feel stuck in the middle trying to keep everyone happy. I’ve tried introducing them slowly, giving the cat space and even buying new toys to distract her, but nothing seems to help. My boyfriend thinks I’m overreacting and that the cat will “get over it,” but I know she’s genuinely stressed.

I feel guilty because I was so excited for us to finally live together, and now it feels like we’re both walking on eggshells around my pet. I love them both, but I’m starting to wonder if this living situation is sustainable. How can I help my cat adjust to this big change without it putting more strain on my relationship? -- Standoff

DEAR STANDOFF: Experts say it sometimes takes time for cats and lovers to become friends. My research suggests that you must rebuild a relationship with each of them so that jealousy reduces to a minimum and both of them know how much you love them. Catster.com advises having separate one-on-one time with your cat and your boyfriend, closing the door when you want alone time with your guy and setting aside time for the two of them to bond without you around. If your cat is motivated by food, you might have your boyfriend start feeding her so she has that positive association. You can also try calling in a pet trainer for more personalized help.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I got married recently, and while the day was beautiful overall, a few unexpected guests showed up -- actual wedding crashers! At first, I thought maybe they were distant friends of my husband’s, but it became obvious they didn’t know anyone. They ate, drank and even joined us on the dance floor like they belonged there. By the time we realized what was happening, they had already helped themselves to food, drinks and favors meant for our guests. I’m still upset thinking about how they took advantage of such a special day. Part of me feels silly for caring since the wedding was otherwise amazing, but another part of me feels disrespected. How do I let go of the frustration and focus on the positive without feeling like I let something so tacky slide? It’s become the story everyone keeps bringing up when they talk about my wedding, and I hate that it’s overshadowing the good memories. Should I just laugh it off, or is it OK that I'm still bothered by it? I want to move on, but I can’t help replaying the moment and wondering how people could be so inconsiderate. -- Crashers

DEAR CRASHERS: Every wedding has its idiosyncrasies. Yours had wedding crashers. Embrace the novelty of it. Your wedding was so hot that others wanted to join the fun!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)