DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been talking to a guy for about a year now. It has been casual for two reasons: He is unemployed (for quite some time now) and struggling, and I am in the beginning of a divorce -- a messy scenario.

We like each other and have enjoyed talking. Being the person I am, I have helped him in different ways, coaching him on his resume and helping him apply for jobs online, occasionally slipping him a few dollars when times have been tight. I am beginning to realize that he does not return the favor in ways he could. If I want to talk about what’s going on with me, he is often unavailable. I mentioned how frustrating that is for me the other day, and I even said I thought it was unfair: I am there for him when he needs me, but he is not there for me. He blew up and said he hasn’t asked me for anything. He got offended and accused me of thinking he is taking advantage of me. I was simply stating that he is often not there for me when I need to talk. He can’t offer much else as he has no money, so a listening ear should be at the ready. Am I wrong here? -- Tit for Tat

DEAR TIT FOR TAT: The two of you are in an impossible situation. You are not free to be in a relationship with him or anyone else until your divorce is fully finished. You seem to be looking for a soft landing space, perhaps because of what wasn’t working in your marriage. He has proven that he cannot be that for you, and that is frustrating.

This man is in a desperate spot. With no job and limited means, he is in no position to offer counsel or attentiveness. You must stop wanting him to be who he is not. Let him go and focus on solving your own issues.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I stopped by to visit an acquaintance earlier this week. A while back, I had heard through mutual friends that she was diagnosed with Parkinson’s disease. Recently, her older sister -- who was her primary caregiver -- passed away.

I decided to pay a visit to my friend to say hello and offer my condolences. While I was there, another friend visited her -- a doctor who helped her do some mild physical therapy, reminding her it is good to stay in that practice as much as possible. As I got ready to head out, this doctor suggested that I stop by a few times a week to help with some light exercise, take her for walks, see how she’s doing and more. I hadn’t met this doctor before, and while my friend and I have a long history, we don’t have much of a current relationship. I felt awkward and sort of agreed to take on this role, but this is not something I am comfortable with. I wish I’d stood my ground in the moment, but how do I back out of such a huge commitment? -- Caretaker

DEAR CARETAKER: Contact the doctor and make it clear that you cannot commit to the schedule requested of you. Whatever you can do -- once a week, once a month -- offer that for now. Find out if there is anyone else, like friends, family or caregivers covered by insurance, who can pitch in.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: The other night, my husband said something that’s been weighing on me. We were talking about my job, and he told me that maybe the reason I haven’t been moving up in my career is because I don’t have much drive anymore. He said it casually, like he didn’t mean any harm, but it hurt. I’ve been doing my best, even if my progress hasn’t been as fast as I’d like, and hearing that from someone I love and thought supported me was discouraging. It made me start questioning myself and wondering if he thinks I’m a failure. I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately, and I wish he had offered encouragement instead of criticism.

When I told my husband how his words made me feel, he brushed it off and said he was just trying to motivate me. Now I feel both hurt and frustrated, like he doesn’t see how much effort I put in or how much I care about my work. I love him, but I don’t know how to make him understand that his words can do more harm than good. How should I approach this conversation so that he grasps how deeply his comment affected me without it turning into a fight or making things worse between us? -- Hurt

DEAR HURT: Rather than homing in on how your husband made you feel with his observations, focus on your career ascent and how to get where you want to go. If you can afford it, hire an executive coach to help you for a few months to evaluate where you are in your work and develop a strategy with you for getting to the next level.

Share your husband's hurtful comments about drive and motivation with your coach. Perhaps through that person’s neutral lens, you can find value in the message, even if the delivery was biting.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Most of my family is of a different faith than myself and my children. For the most part, it isn’t a big deal, but one of my uncles is opinionated and outspoken. He and I used to be close, but now whenever he comes to my home, he is critical of my faith and religious choices -- even when it’s not relevant. I am respectful of his dietary differences, his time for prayer and so on, but when my family prays or references anything he is not in agreement with, he’s dismissive, combative or disruptive. I wish he would be more respectful -- no speaking during our prayers, no need to detest our beliefs, no need to preach his faith to my children.

I want to draw the line with my uncle because he is beginning to create doubt and confusion in my children. I want to be close with him, but I don’t want my children’s perception of faith and religion to be tainted by these us-versus-them experiences. There is room for all faiths, but I don’t know how to get my uncle to realize that. -- At a Crossroads

DEAR AT A CROSSROADS: Say as much to him. Add that if he cannot bite his tongue and become respectful of the way you and your children express your faith, he is not welcome in your home.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend and I were watching a popular TV series together. The show is based on high schoolers who struggle with substance use disorder, mental health, anger management, sexual exploitation and more. We both were making comments regarding our shock throughout the episodes, but at some point, my friend looked over to me and said he feels sorry for my future children. I was wounded. That is such a strong statement.

I tried to unpack with him what he had said, but I didn’t get far. He shared that he thought my expectations were too aggressive and that no kid will be able to thrive around me. I think of parenting as a balance between structure and vulnerability, and I’ve always hoped I will be an honest and understanding mom. Neither of us has children, by the way.

I want my friend to know his harsh critiques impacted me and that he should be more mindful with his opinions in the future. Is it even worth revisiting this conversation? -- Bad Mom

DEAR BAD MOM: It could be worth it to continue the conversation with your friend, though not as an indictment of what he said to you. That will only create defensiveness with no meaningful resolution. Tell him instead that you can’t stop thinking about what he said to you, and you want to understand why he feels that you will not be a good mom. Admit that you have thought about his comments since he made them, and you want to understand his thinking. If he will share, listen carefully to see if there’s any value to what he says.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have been struggling with the dating scene in my city. It’s been nearly two years since I’ve even attempted a date, flirted casually, swiped through an app or responded to a DM. It is so difficult to find anyone who wants to connect on a deeper level. Social media and online dating have made distance more acceptable and quality time less desirable. I would like to try dating again, but after being celibate and intentionally single for the past few years, I’ve become a cynic. My guard is up, and I am not as vulnerable or romantic as I once was. I think my lackluster experiences in the past have caused my heart to harden. I want to approach the dating scene with a more positive outlook, but it feels daunting. Do you have any advice for people like me who are not fans of online dating? -- Get Back out There

DEAR GET BACK OUT THERE: Don’t give up on romance yet. Go out the old-fashioned way: take classes, go to the museum, visit cafes and bars in your area and talk to people. Keep your eyes open but go slowly. If you meet someone potentially interesting, talk to them but keep your expectations low. Get to know people before considering investing your heart in them. Be OK with lighthearted engagements. Allow yourself to notice if anyone interesting comes along without feeling desperate along the way. (Yes, I know, easier said than done.)

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)