DEAR MISS MANNERS: My fiance and I have chosen not to register for gifts. Not only do we wish to do what is proper, but we already live together in a tiny apartment and have neither the need nor the space for additional housekeeping items.

Nor do we wish to crassly solicit money from our guests. And since the wedding is in my fiance's small, remote hometown, which is not easy to travel to, we would genuinely be pleased with and grateful for our guests’ presence, let alone any presents (overused as that phrase may be).

What do we say to guests who inquire about a registry? “We are not registered” feels too blunt, but is adding “Thank you for asking” presumptuous?

I also worry that guests will expect to find registry information on our wedding website, which we have found to be a useful tool for sharing details about hotel blocks and travel. Would it be appropriate to add a note on the site that we are not registered? I could imagine guests waiting for a registry tab to pop up, only for them to feel wrong-footed when one never does.

GENTLE READER: Stop fidgeting, dear.

The website is fine, and saying you are not registered in answer to a question is not blunt if delivered with a smile -- or without, if the same relative is asking for the fifth time.

Now, Miss Manners has a word for the relatives and other guests:

Could you please stop harassing the couple about a registry? They say they have enough stuff and only want the pleasure of your company, which ought to be easy enough to understand.

If you feel compelled to send something anyway, then yes, you will have to spend a few minutes thinking about what they might like. If that is too much trouble, could you at least keep those feelings to yourselves?

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was dealing with someone who was complaining about a political situation, which he said made him feel very sad and scared. I replied, sincerely, that I was sorry he felt so bad about the situation and I hoped he felt better soon.

Then he complained about “people who say they’re sorry but are really insincere.”

Was there any way to express my sympathy for how bad he felt without agreeing with his view of the political situation?

GENTLE READER: There is, and you already did it. The best way to avoid a fight with someone who appears to be seeking one is not to worry yourself about subtext.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When attending family events, what is the polite way to decline posing for photos that end up being posted on social media sites without my permission?

People used to put photos in their albums at home, but now they are posted indiscriminately, and it really bothers me. If I want my photo on social media, I’ll post it. Not someone else.

GENTLE READER: Offer to be the photographer.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: When hosting a cocktail hour, how does the hostess gracefully navigate the quantity of food served? For example, if the cheese platter is reduced to a few bites, should the hostess be constantly monitoring and replenishing it, even if the planned “hour” has passed?

I certainly don’t want to appear stingy with guests. But bringing out more food seems to encourage lingering and drifting into dinner time and beyond.

I was taught that as a guest, I should not take the last piece of anything -- crackers, nuts, candy or cheese. Is that still the case? It seems to me that empty platters should signal that it’s time to say "thanks and goodbye." But does it appear churlish to leave the bowls and platters empty?

GENTLE READER: Fill or clear any empty receptacle, in which category Miss Manners includes the guests.

So if Uncle Lance is lingering by the dessert table, hoping for something more, swoop him up and introduce him to any available guest in the next room. Eventually the table will be empty and the guests will get the idea and go home.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am currently being treated for a medical problem. The issue is expected to fully resolve in time, but it is temporarily forcing me to work part-time, and prevents me from participating in certain activities that are standard in my line of work.

I therefore have to explain to clients and others that my current availability is limited. I usually give them an abbreviated version of the reason, just so they know that I’m not making something up to avoid doing the work, or to give myself more time to get it done.

Most people just sympathize and wish me a speedy recovery, which is fine. But some interject very religious wishes for me, such as assuring me that “The good Lord is looking out for you and will take care of you for a full recovery.”

This makes me uncomfortable -- first because I don’t appreciate inserting religious beliefs into business transactions in general, and second because I do not subscribe to the same religion as the person making this statement.

I know that people who say this mean well, so I usually just say “Thank you” and try to move quickly to another topic. Is there a graceful way to discourage these comments?

GENTLE READER: Here is a perhaps-novel way to discourage people from introducing their personal beliefs into professional dealings: Don’t you do it first. This includes stating your belief that your explanations may not be believed.

Rather than abbreviate your medical diagnosis, omit it entirely. You can stop talking after saying, “I have a medical condition that temporarily requires me to work part-time,” and Miss Manners thinks you have every chance of being taken at your word.

She cannot promise an instant recovery for the current pandemic of Too Much Information: You may still have to say “thank you” from religious well-wishers and move on. But it is a start.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is graduating from high school, but she does not want a party. I would still like to send out graduation cards to help celebrate her achievement, but I don’t know how to write it. Should I state that she is not having a party, but that she is attending the ceremony?

I would like for people to have a way to congratulate her without having a party. How do I do this?

GENTLE READER: What do you mean by “congratulate,” and by “a way” for others to do so?

Surely anyone who is friendly with your daughter will wish her well without being prompted by mail. And if you say or write to your friends, “I’m so proud of Tanya, who is graduating from high school,” they will doubtless offer their congratulations.

Not enough?

Miss Manners has long objected when those who receive formal announcements of graduations or weddings characterize these as “gift grabs.” Why shouldn’t people simply share their good news?

But what if it isn’t news? Or it is news that is of no particular interest to those who receive it?

The proper recipients of such announcements are people who 1. don’t already know; and 2. are presumed to be interested to hear.

Yet Miss Manners had an inquiry from someone who wanted to send one to the parents of one of her son’s graduation classmates, who may safely be presumed to know. And as schools sell announcement cards in bulk, those who order them tend to mail them in bulk, without regard to whether their targets have any personal ties to the family that would make them want to know.

It is these abuses that prompt the “gift grab” accusation, to the extent that even people who do care either succumb to what they believe is a demand, or ignore the announcement entirely.

Announcements are not invoices. The proper response to formal or informal announcements is to send congratulations, with graduation presents being strictly optional. As gifts are also optional when attending graduation parties, you should not feel that you (or your daughter) missed out.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve started meeting a friend for the cheap breakfast special once a week at a local diner. But when we pay the bill at the counter, my friend always helps himself to five or six of the free lollipops next to the till.

I find it embarrassing. Is there a way to ask him to stop without insulting him?

GENTLE READER: Say, in a public voice as he takes the candy, “The orphans will be so pleased. But you know, we can buy lollipops. We don’t have to deplete the supply here.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please, please use your influence to bring back “mother” when referencing a woman who is raising children. I am so tired of hearing “mom.”

GENTLE READER: It appears that Miss Manners is not the only one who finds it patronizing when strangers appropriate the affectionate term that should be the prerogative of the family. They don’t refer to male parents as Daddy or Pops. She believes that they should be just as wary of the consequences.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)