DEAR MISS MANNERS: When hosting a cocktail hour, how does the hostess gracefully navigate the quantity of food served? For example, if the cheese platter is reduced to a few bites, should the hostess be constantly monitoring and replenishing it, even if the planned “hour” has passed?

I certainly don’t want to appear stingy with guests. But bringing out more food seems to encourage lingering and drifting into dinner time and beyond.

I was taught that as a guest, I should not take the last piece of anything -- crackers, nuts, candy or cheese. Is that still the case? It seems to me that empty platters should signal that it’s time to say "thanks and goodbye." But does it appear churlish to leave the bowls and platters empty?

GENTLE READER: Fill or clear any empty receptacle, in which category Miss Manners includes the guests.

So if Uncle Lance is lingering by the dessert table, hoping for something more, swoop him up and introduce him to any available guest in the next room. Eventually the table will be empty and the guests will get the idea and go home.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am currently being treated for a medical problem. The issue is expected to fully resolve in time, but it is temporarily forcing me to work part-time, and prevents me from participating in certain activities that are standard in my line of work.

I therefore have to explain to clients and others that my current availability is limited. I usually give them an abbreviated version of the reason, just so they know that I’m not making something up to avoid doing the work, or to give myself more time to get it done.

Most people just sympathize and wish me a speedy recovery, which is fine. But some interject very religious wishes for me, such as assuring me that “The good Lord is looking out for you and will take care of you for a full recovery.”

This makes me uncomfortable -- first because I don’t appreciate inserting religious beliefs into business transactions in general, and second because I do not subscribe to the same religion as the person making this statement.

I know that people who say this mean well, so I usually just say “Thank you” and try to move quickly to another topic. Is there a graceful way to discourage these comments?

GENTLE READER: Here is a perhaps-novel way to discourage people from introducing their personal beliefs into professional dealings: Don’t you do it first. This includes stating your belief that your explanations may not be believed.

Rather than abbreviate your medical diagnosis, omit it entirely. You can stop talking after saying, “I have a medical condition that temporarily requires me to work part-time,” and Miss Manners thinks you have every chance of being taken at your word.

She cannot promise an instant recovery for the current pandemic of Too Much Information: You may still have to say “thank you” from religious well-wishers and move on. But it is a start.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My daughter is graduating from high school, but she does not want a party. I would still like to send out graduation cards to help celebrate her achievement, but I don’t know how to write it. Should I state that she is not having a party, but that she is attending the ceremony?

I would like for people to have a way to congratulate her without having a party. How do I do this?

GENTLE READER: What do you mean by “congratulate,” and by “a way” for others to do so?

Surely anyone who is friendly with your daughter will wish her well without being prompted by mail. And if you say or write to your friends, “I’m so proud of Tanya, who is graduating from high school,” they will doubtless offer their congratulations.

Not enough?

Miss Manners has long objected when those who receive formal announcements of graduations or weddings characterize these as “gift grabs.” Why shouldn’t people simply share their good news?

But what if it isn’t news? Or it is news that is of no particular interest to those who receive it?

The proper recipients of such announcements are people who 1. don’t already know; and 2. are presumed to be interested to hear.

Yet Miss Manners had an inquiry from someone who wanted to send one to the parents of one of her son’s graduation classmates, who may safely be presumed to know. And as schools sell announcement cards in bulk, those who order them tend to mail them in bulk, without regard to whether their targets have any personal ties to the family that would make them want to know.

It is these abuses that prompt the “gift grab” accusation, to the extent that even people who do care either succumb to what they believe is a demand, or ignore the announcement entirely.

Announcements are not invoices. The proper response to formal or informal announcements is to send congratulations, with graduation presents being strictly optional. As gifts are also optional when attending graduation parties, you should not feel that you (or your daughter) missed out.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I’ve started meeting a friend for the cheap breakfast special once a week at a local diner. But when we pay the bill at the counter, my friend always helps himself to five or six of the free lollipops next to the till.

I find it embarrassing. Is there a way to ask him to stop without insulting him?

GENTLE READER: Say, in a public voice as he takes the candy, “The orphans will be so pleased. But you know, we can buy lollipops. We don’t have to deplete the supply here.”

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Please, please use your influence to bring back “mother” when referencing a woman who is raising children. I am so tired of hearing “mom.”

GENTLE READER: It appears that Miss Manners is not the only one who finds it patronizing when strangers appropriate the affectionate term that should be the prerogative of the family. They don’t refer to male parents as Daddy or Pops. She believes that they should be just as wary of the consequences.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: There is a relatively nice person who works near me in a busy financial office. They are talented and smart, but they have an annoying habit of interjecting a constant stream of unsolicited advice and warnings about health into every single conversation.

They will warn me of the plastic in teabags as they watch me make a cup of tea, or the danger of using medical-grade masks to avoid viruses. They blurt out, “Milk -- instant inflammation!” as I put cream in my coffee.

They issue warnings of the dangers of tap water while I pour myself a glass, warnings about over-the-counter painkillers while I take one for a headache, and warnings about vaccines when I mention getting a COVID booster (gee, ever heard of tetanus or polio?). After a dental appointment, I got to hear about the hazardous chemicals used in modern dentistry. I have been told about the nanoparticles in every item ever manufactured, and the risks of every medication ever made.

The advice is not without merit, but it is constant, interruptive, unsolicited and negative. It’s also become really annoying, and I’m contemplating avoiding this person.

They have made an educational journey to become a healer after retirement, and I can see how they might have some success because of their desire to help people. But not in the office, thank you. I wish they would save the warnings for their future paying clients.

What can I say in a short, humorous or simple way to stop this stream of warnings about every single move I make?

GENTLE READER: All right, here is your acting assignment:

At each warning, throw your arms up in an "I surrender" position, widen your eyes and say “UH-OH!” After you hold the pose for a minute, you can break into a smile.

Three such performances should do it. If your colleague is nice -- even “relatively nice” -- Miss Manners predicts that you will get a return smile and fewer warnings.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was seated in front of two men at a hockey game, and every other word they said was the F-word. I wanted to say something, but wondered what would be the best way to address them.

I thought about saying something like, “Hey, you look like smart guys, but your vocabulary makes you sound less than intelligent.”

Do you have a suggestion, or was ignoring them the route to take? That is what I did.

GENTLE READER: Thereby avoiding the likely response, which would be to F-off.

As offensive as that would be, Miss Manners cannot help seeing that it would come from a legitimate objection. First, that they were having a private conversation, even if you couldn’t help overhearing it. And second, that it is rude, not to mention ineffective, to go around correcting strangers.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)