DEAR MISS MANNERS: The first time my friend left me waiting for her for an hour when we had plans to meet for lunch, I expressed my displeasure. She defended herself with the same excuses she used in her texts to me: She was running late; she’d run into traffic; she would be there in another 5 minutes (sometimes at 15-minute intervals).

The second time I had plans to meet my friend for lunch, I waited 15 minutes, then left the restaurant. She was furious and told me it was rude not to tell her I had a deadline. From her point of view, I had changed the rules on her.

My partner and I invited a couple to our home to watch a movie. I never heard from them, despite making the invitation by email, text and phone call, and asking them to RSVP. When we heard nothing, we changed our plans.

It was awkward when they showed up at our door. We were not expecting guests; they were intent on seeing the movie. When I told them we couldn’t possibly have them in, they said I should have told them.

Perhaps I was to include a sentence saying, “If I don’t hear from you, this invitation is rescinded”? Am I supposed to include consequences in all my communications?

GENTLE READER: No, you need only demonstrate them, as you have done.

Miss Manners would like to think that these friends will have now learned that your invitations -- and patience -- are not infinite. But sadly, you and she both know better.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I frequently entertain a small group of friends for light appetizers and dinner. One friend usually arrives with a tobacco pouch in his mouth and places it on his dinner plate while he dines.

He will insert another pouch after dinner but before dessert. When I clear the table, I find the pouches on his dinner plate as well as his dessert plate. I have even found one of these foul things on a linen cocktail napkin in my living room.

I place the pouches in the trash, where they tend to provide a foul odor to our kitchen until the can is emptied.

Is there a way to let our friend know that I’d rather he take his used tobacco pouches home with him rather than have them foul our table and trash can?

GENTLE READER: He has given you a present. Now it is your turn: Next time he is at your house, give him his very own used tobacco holder.

Mind you, Miss Manners has no idea if such a thing exists, but imagines something the size of a mint tin with a lid on it, or a snack-sized baggie. If you are crafty, you could even decorate it to make it more presentable. At least the first time.

At subsequent gatherings, or when he inevitably forgets the original, keep extras on hand that are less decorative and more readily disposable. Or tell him that your house is not only a nonsmoking area, but a tobacco-free one.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am employed at a local department store where my primary position is in the dressing room. I check the number of items taken into each room, then I button, zip and hang up items to be placed back on the floor racks.

Our store's dressing room has a limit of 10 items per customer at a time. Most of the time, the customer will bring in the full 10 items, keep two or three things and hand the rest to me when they are done. Often they will bring shopping carts loaded with more than 10 things, try on a few, then bring those back to their cart to swap for additional items. They will still leave with just a couple of items, or none at all!

There aren’t nearly enough racks in the dressing room to rehang all the items that are deposited with me. We are a busy store and it’s impossible to keep up with this frenzy.

I wish I could get the store managers to reduce the limit of items allowed in the dressing room, but that’s not going to happen, so I’m appealing to you women here: Rein in the free-for-all try-ons. You aren’t creating jobs, just making the work harder to keep up with -- and making few purchases to show for it. Most of us only make minimum wage as it is.

GENTLE READER: Carrying out a policy that makes your workday harder is one of the joys of working for others -- particularly when the policy is either so poorly thought out or so poorly implemented that it cannot achieve its objectives.

But unilaterally implementing one’s own policy will result in looking for a new job. And so the options are: carrying out the objectionable policy, convincing the boss to see the error of their ways, or finding a way to implement the boss’s policy that does work.

The latter may be the most challenging, but will open up possibilities for an even better fourth option: finding a more agreeable job, either by expanding your experience or by proving your worth in your current position.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I know several people who use walkers, and I see some of the devices' limitations. It can be hard navigating tall curbs, walking over rocky ground, maneuvering through tight spaces, walking downhill, traveling for long distances, standing in line for too long, and folding it up to put in a car.

Every so often, I see someone using a walker that seems really well designed for various terrains or different uses. I sometimes stop and ask them about it -- where they got it, if it works well, what they think of it, etc.

Everyone I have talked to has been receptive and informative. But now I wonder if they were just being polite and I was being a pest. What do you think?

GENTLE READER: Asking people about their medical devices is technically not, Miss Manners admits, inquiring into someone’s medical condition -- which would be a no-no -- but it is too nearly that to receive her blessing. She would be slightly more receptive if you were using a similar device yourself, or if you were the person’s doctor. Or lying prone and in need of assistance.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My wife and I had an amazing and intimate honeymoon in the Leeward Islands. In the spirit of the occasion, we booked first-class tickets for our flights.

During boarding for the return leg, the flight attendant asked if we would like anything to drink. We requested champagne to commemorate a perfect week spent together. The attendant stated that they only had enough champagne for us each to order a glass, and that there wouldn’t be any more for the flight.

We took this to mean that each passenger on this flight could only order champagne once, so our reply to the flight attendant was, “That’s fine, we’ll take it now, thank you!”

However, after she served us the champagne, the couple behind us asked her for some -- to which the flight attendant replied that we had finished the champagne for the entire flight!

In the moment, we had misunderstood her, but it got me thinking: If we'd known no one else would get champagne but us, would it have been poor manners to take the last of it? Certainly that is the case in a social setting, but is it still the case on a commercial flight?

GENTLE READER: The rule you refer to is a social rule, as distinct from a business rule. And a meal at a restaurant -- and, by extension, a meal on an airplane, even in first class -- is a commercial transaction.

You would, therefore, defer to another couple you were traveling with, but not to the people a few rows back, whom you have never met. In your case, you did no wrong -- although it seems worth mentioning that the flight attendant blaming you for the lack of champagne was hardly first-class treatment.

And while Miss Manners realizes you were probably borrowing adjectives from the resort’s brochure when you described your honeymoon as "amazing" and "intimate," she thinks that next time, you might just leave it at "amazing."

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Are the rules about discussing religion in social settings somewhat relaxed when someone volunteers that they (or their family) are clergy?

For instance, I’d never ask someone I just met about their denomination, or where they attend religious services. But most innocuous follow-up questions about a clergy member's calling would reveal that information, even if indirectly.

I obviously don’t want to start spiritual debates in social settings, but I also wouldn’t want someone to feel like they made a conversation awkward when they only stated the same information about themselves as everyone else had.

GENTLE READER: You are presupposing that everyone has long since forgotten the rules against discussing one’s profession in social settings. Maybe.

Miss Manners agrees that it would be unkind to treat clergy as pariahs in conversation as soon as they mention what they do. And she will overlook the rule about discussing professions in the moment -- if we can at least agree not to compare salaries while doing so.

(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, gentlereader@missmanners.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)