DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently noticed that my partner still follows his ex on social media, and not only that, but he still likes most of her posts. They’ve been broken up for two years, and from what I know, she was the one who ended things. It’s not like he’s leaving flirty comments or anything inappropriate, but I can’t help but feel uneasy every time I see his name under her photos.

Part of me feels silly for even caring -- after all, everyone stays connected online these days -- but another part of me wonders why he’s still keeping up with her so closely. I haven’t said anything yet because I don’t want to come off as jealous or controlling, especially since everything else in our relationship feels solid, but it’s definitely bothering me more than I’d like to admit. I can’t tell if I’m overreacting or ignoring a red flag. I keep telling myself it’s “just social media,” but I also know how small habits can sometimes reveal bigger feelings. It’s starting to make me question whether he’s truly over that relationship or just hasn’t fully let go. Should I bring this up and risk sounding insecure, or just let it go and try to move on from it quietly? -- Tethered to Ex

DEAR TETHERED TO EX: How do you know this? Do you follow his ex on social? If you are aware of this because you have been snooping, trust that he will react to that energy. The larger question is: What is worrying you? If you sincerely wonder if he is over his ex, ask him. When he asks why, tell him you have seen how attentive he is to her social media. Be prepared for a bit of alarm from him as to your motives, but push for honest dialogue about their status.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’ve been complaining about my husband incessantly, and for good reason. There is a long list of ways that he has messed up our life, but I’m starting to notice that I have my own stuff that needs to be addressed. He is not the only bad guy, in a way. How can I face up to my issues without creating vulnerability for me when I’m talking to him? Honestly, I don’t know if we can make it, and I don’t want to give him ammunition to make life more difficult for me if we do break up. -- On the Precipice

DEAR ON THE PRECIPICE: If you feel you are headed to divorce, talk to him about that directly. Put your cards on the table and begin to discuss a way to end your marriage and move on.

If you think there’s a chance you might stay together, tell him about your realization of your own shortcomings. Chances are, he is aware of them even if you two have never discussed them. By being forthcoming about what you now see you need to work on, you may be creating space for the two of you to work together on your marriage instead of pointing fingers.

Vulnerability is an essential part of growth. Being fully honest about yourself and each other may be the medicine you both need to address your issues and work toward finding a way forward. You married this man. Is your relationship worth making every effort to fight for your bond before you give up?

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved into a new apartment building recently, and while I love the location and my unit, I’ve been having a tricky time with one of my neighbors. They frequently leave passive-aggressive notes about noise, even when I’m careful to keep my music low and avoid loud activities. Sometimes the notes feel exaggerated or unfair, and it’s starting to make me anxious every time I move around my apartment. I don’t want to start a confrontation or create hostility, but I also don’t want to constantly tiptoe around my own home or feel guilty for simply living my life. I’ve considered introducing myself in person to smooth things over, but I’m nervous that could backfire and make the tension worse. I also worry that the building management won’t take my side if it escalates, and I don’t want this situation to affect my enjoyment of my new home. I just want to find a way to coexist peacefully without feeling like I’m walking on eggshells every day. How can I handle this situation in a calm, respectful way that sets boundaries, preserves my peace and prevents further passive-aggressive behavior? -- No More Notes

DEAR NO MORE NOTES: If you know where the notes are coming from, consider leaving a note for that person saying you are making an effort to be mindful of your environment, and you would appreciate it if they would stop with the notes.

If you don’t know who it is, leave a note on your door for them stating the same and suggesting that you hope you two can live harmoniously as you love your new home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I booked a vacation with a group of close friends months ago, and I’ve been looking forward to it. However, recently I’ve developed a fear of flying, and the thought of getting on the plane is making me anxious. I’m worried that my anxiety could ruin the trip for me, and I feel torn because I don’t want to cancel and disappoint my friends or miss out on what should be a fun experience. I’ve tried to prepare myself by reading articles about flying safety and even practicing relaxation techniques, but my fear keeps getting worse as the travel date approaches.

I feel guilty admitting this fear to my friends because I don’t want them to think I’m being dramatic or letting them down. At the same time, the idea of sitting on a plane fills me with dread, and I’m not sure how I can manage it without professional help. Should I try to push through my fear and go, risking panic or discomfort, or should I be honest with my friends and possibly back out, even though I know it may disappoint them? How can I handle this situation in a way that respects both my mental health and my friendships? -- Fear of Flying

DEAR FEAR OF FLYING: Do two things now: Tell your friends what’s going on with you. It would be far worse to get to the date and your plans backfire and they have to absorb the cost of your absence. Second, get a therapist to help you work through your fear. Try to figure out the source of your anxiety so that you can release it, even if it takes longer to resolve than your departure date.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: This year has been extremely busy for me and my core friend group. No matter how much we try, it seems like every time we try to pick a time we can all be available to catch up and do something together, we fail. I recognize that being busy is not always something people can change, but still, isn’t it important to make time for the ones you love? One friend in particular often puts us off for months at a time or simply doesn’t respond. If we happen to make plans without her, she doesn’t take it well. The other day, we were all finally out to dinner, and I casually mentioned that sometimes it takes months to plan with her, and she got really defensive and accused me of “talking crap.” Did I overstep? Or is she being sensitive? -- Busy Schedules

DEAR BUSY SCHEDULES: Rubbing it in was not the nicest thing for you to do. You all know how difficult it is to get together. Instead of turning the knife as you did, consider another option for the future. Why not agree to set a date to get together every quarter. Those who can join should come; those who cannot will be missed. That way, you see one another without guilting anyone who can’t make it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My close friend recently asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and while I was honored at first, I’m now struggling with mixed feelings. I care deeply about her and want to support her happiness, but I don’t agree with many of her fiance’s values or the way he treats certain situations. There have been moments when I’ve witnessed him make comments or decisions that really don’t sit well with me, and it makes me worry about their long-term future together.

I feel conflicted because standing by her side as a bridesmaid feels like I’m endorsing the relationship, and I don’t know if I can do that wholeheartedly. On the other hand, saying no feels like it would hurt her deeply and maybe even jeopardize our friendship. I don’t want to come across as judgmental or overstepping, but I also don’t want to ignore my instincts. Should I be honest with her about my hesitations and risk damaging our bond, or should I accept the role, keep my concerns to myself and support her day no matter how I feel about the marriage itself? -- Standing for My Friend

DEAR STANDING FOR MY FRIEND: A brave thing you can do is ask your friend to get together and have a candid conversation. Tell her you love her and want to support her in any way that you can. Add that you are a bit worried about her. Give her specific examples of your observations. Ask her if she has any apprehensions of her own. Tell her you want to have her back and you just want to make sure she is going into this union with her eyes wide open. You can point out things you know about her that conflict with things you have observed in him as something for her to consider.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)