DEAR HARRIETTE: I moved into a new apartment building recently, and while I love the location and my unit, I’ve been having a tricky time with one of my neighbors. They frequently leave passive-aggressive notes about noise, even when I’m careful to keep my music low and avoid loud activities. Sometimes the notes feel exaggerated or unfair, and it’s starting to make me anxious every time I move around my apartment. I don’t want to start a confrontation or create hostility, but I also don’t want to constantly tiptoe around my own home or feel guilty for simply living my life. I’ve considered introducing myself in person to smooth things over, but I’m nervous that could backfire and make the tension worse. I also worry that the building management won’t take my side if it escalates, and I don’t want this situation to affect my enjoyment of my new home. I just want to find a way to coexist peacefully without feeling like I’m walking on eggshells every day. How can I handle this situation in a calm, respectful way that sets boundaries, preserves my peace and prevents further passive-aggressive behavior? -- No More Notes

DEAR NO MORE NOTES: If you know where the notes are coming from, consider leaving a note for that person saying you are making an effort to be mindful of your environment, and you would appreciate it if they would stop with the notes.

If you don’t know who it is, leave a note on your door for them stating the same and suggesting that you hope you two can live harmoniously as you love your new home.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I booked a vacation with a group of close friends months ago, and I’ve been looking forward to it. However, recently I’ve developed a fear of flying, and the thought of getting on the plane is making me anxious. I’m worried that my anxiety could ruin the trip for me, and I feel torn because I don’t want to cancel and disappoint my friends or miss out on what should be a fun experience. I’ve tried to prepare myself by reading articles about flying safety and even practicing relaxation techniques, but my fear keeps getting worse as the travel date approaches.

I feel guilty admitting this fear to my friends because I don’t want them to think I’m being dramatic or letting them down. At the same time, the idea of sitting on a plane fills me with dread, and I’m not sure how I can manage it without professional help. Should I try to push through my fear and go, risking panic or discomfort, or should I be honest with my friends and possibly back out, even though I know it may disappoint them? How can I handle this situation in a way that respects both my mental health and my friendships? -- Fear of Flying

DEAR FEAR OF FLYING: Do two things now: Tell your friends what’s going on with you. It would be far worse to get to the date and your plans backfire and they have to absorb the cost of your absence. Second, get a therapist to help you work through your fear. Try to figure out the source of your anxiety so that you can release it, even if it takes longer to resolve than your departure date.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: This year has been extremely busy for me and my core friend group. No matter how much we try, it seems like every time we try to pick a time we can all be available to catch up and do something together, we fail. I recognize that being busy is not always something people can change, but still, isn’t it important to make time for the ones you love? One friend in particular often puts us off for months at a time or simply doesn’t respond. If we happen to make plans without her, she doesn’t take it well. The other day, we were all finally out to dinner, and I casually mentioned that sometimes it takes months to plan with her, and she got really defensive and accused me of “talking crap.” Did I overstep? Or is she being sensitive? -- Busy Schedules

DEAR BUSY SCHEDULES: Rubbing it in was not the nicest thing for you to do. You all know how difficult it is to get together. Instead of turning the knife as you did, consider another option for the future. Why not agree to set a date to get together every quarter. Those who can join should come; those who cannot will be missed. That way, you see one another without guilting anyone who can’t make it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My close friend recently asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and while I was honored at first, I’m now struggling with mixed feelings. I care deeply about her and want to support her happiness, but I don’t agree with many of her fiance’s values or the way he treats certain situations. There have been moments when I’ve witnessed him make comments or decisions that really don’t sit well with me, and it makes me worry about their long-term future together.

I feel conflicted because standing by her side as a bridesmaid feels like I’m endorsing the relationship, and I don’t know if I can do that wholeheartedly. On the other hand, saying no feels like it would hurt her deeply and maybe even jeopardize our friendship. I don’t want to come across as judgmental or overstepping, but I also don’t want to ignore my instincts. Should I be honest with her about my hesitations and risk damaging our bond, or should I accept the role, keep my concerns to myself and support her day no matter how I feel about the marriage itself? -- Standing for My Friend

DEAR STANDING FOR MY FRIEND: A brave thing you can do is ask your friend to get together and have a candid conversation. Tell her you love her and want to support her in any way that you can. Add that you are a bit worried about her. Give her specific examples of your observations. Ask her if she has any apprehensions of her own. Tell her you want to have her back and you just want to make sure she is going into this union with her eyes wide open. You can point out things you know about her that conflict with things you have observed in him as something for her to consider.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of the many people who have lost their job this year due to the pushback against diversity, equity and inclusion programs. I have an advanced degree and decades of experience in my field, and it doesn’t seem to matter. I am having a difficult time finding work in this environment. What’s worse is that some of my “friends” and colleagues have been saying that they think people of color have been wrongfully advanced and have taken their jobs. Some are questioning my credentials, saying I probably wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did without a handout. I am shocked. I worked more than 20 years to build to my level. How does this anti-DEI mindset get to wipe out my entire career? What can I do or say to defend myself? -- Under Attack

DEAR UNDER ATTACK: I am sorry that you are in this situation. One thing that is happening is that people don’t understand what DEI programs are for. The notion of leveling the playing field so that people of all backgrounds have a fair chance at opportunities was the driving force behind any of these programs. It was not to give anyone an unfair advantage.

That said, many people of diverse backgrounds have gotten educated and built their careers dynamically without any added support. People aren’t generally “given” a job; they must earn it. For jobs and programs to be wiped out because some don't want a woman, person of color, veteran or disabled person to apply seems unfair.

Talk to your friends and colleagues. When on job interviews, tell your story. Let people get a window into who you are and how you have built your life. When people discover the fullness of others who are different from them, an opportunity arises for them to have a broader understanding of who they are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my neighbors is an older woman who treats everyone on our street like we are her children. She chastises people about their trash and lawns, and her latest focus is parking. We live in New York City, and I understand that parking is generally hard to come by, but our block is pretty quiet and many people have driveways. Over the past few weeks, she’s said something to me four or five times about how I park my car. She wants people to be as close to each other’s bumpers as possible to ensure we are leaving maximum space for others to park. Sometimes I just walk away, but yesterday she stopped me and asked if I heard her and if I planned to move up. I think this is getting out of hand. What is the best way to ask my overzealous neighbor to take a chill pill? -- Parking Police

DEAR PARKING POLICE: You can tell her that you hear her about whatever gripe she is addressing without changing your action. What will happen? She will be disappointed as she also discovers that she does not have complete control over the neighborhood.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)