DEAR HARRIETTE: This year has been extremely busy for me and my core friend group. No matter how much we try, it seems like every time we try to pick a time we can all be available to catch up and do something together, we fail. I recognize that being busy is not always something people can change, but still, isn’t it important to make time for the ones you love? One friend in particular often puts us off for months at a time or simply doesn’t respond. If we happen to make plans without her, she doesn’t take it well. The other day, we were all finally out to dinner, and I casually mentioned that sometimes it takes months to plan with her, and she got really defensive and accused me of “talking crap.” Did I overstep? Or is she being sensitive? -- Busy Schedules

DEAR BUSY SCHEDULES: Rubbing it in was not the nicest thing for you to do. You all know how difficult it is to get together. Instead of turning the knife as you did, consider another option for the future. Why not agree to set a date to get together every quarter. Those who can join should come; those who cannot will be missed. That way, you see one another without guilting anyone who can’t make it.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My close friend recently asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding, and while I was honored at first, I’m now struggling with mixed feelings. I care deeply about her and want to support her happiness, but I don’t agree with many of her fiance’s values or the way he treats certain situations. There have been moments when I’ve witnessed him make comments or decisions that really don’t sit well with me, and it makes me worry about their long-term future together.

I feel conflicted because standing by her side as a bridesmaid feels like I’m endorsing the relationship, and I don’t know if I can do that wholeheartedly. On the other hand, saying no feels like it would hurt her deeply and maybe even jeopardize our friendship. I don’t want to come across as judgmental or overstepping, but I also don’t want to ignore my instincts. Should I be honest with her about my hesitations and risk damaging our bond, or should I accept the role, keep my concerns to myself and support her day no matter how I feel about the marriage itself? -- Standing for My Friend

DEAR STANDING FOR MY FRIEND: A brave thing you can do is ask your friend to get together and have a candid conversation. Tell her you love her and want to support her in any way that you can. Add that you are a bit worried about her. Give her specific examples of your observations. Ask her if she has any apprehensions of her own. Tell her you want to have her back and you just want to make sure she is going into this union with her eyes wide open. You can point out things you know about her that conflict with things you have observed in him as something for her to consider.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am one of the many people who have lost their job this year due to the pushback against diversity, equity and inclusion programs. I have an advanced degree and decades of experience in my field, and it doesn’t seem to matter. I am having a difficult time finding work in this environment. What’s worse is that some of my “friends” and colleagues have been saying that they think people of color have been wrongfully advanced and have taken their jobs. Some are questioning my credentials, saying I probably wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did without a handout. I am shocked. I worked more than 20 years to build to my level. How does this anti-DEI mindset get to wipe out my entire career? What can I do or say to defend myself? -- Under Attack

DEAR UNDER ATTACK: I am sorry that you are in this situation. One thing that is happening is that people don’t understand what DEI programs are for. The notion of leveling the playing field so that people of all backgrounds have a fair chance at opportunities was the driving force behind any of these programs. It was not to give anyone an unfair advantage.

That said, many people of diverse backgrounds have gotten educated and built their careers dynamically without any added support. People aren’t generally “given” a job; they must earn it. For jobs and programs to be wiped out because some don't want a woman, person of color, veteran or disabled person to apply seems unfair.

Talk to your friends and colleagues. When on job interviews, tell your story. Let people get a window into who you are and how you have built your life. When people discover the fullness of others who are different from them, an opportunity arises for them to have a broader understanding of who they are.

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my neighbors is an older woman who treats everyone on our street like we are her children. She chastises people about their trash and lawns, and her latest focus is parking. We live in New York City, and I understand that parking is generally hard to come by, but our block is pretty quiet and many people have driveways. Over the past few weeks, she’s said something to me four or five times about how I park my car. She wants people to be as close to each other’s bumpers as possible to ensure we are leaving maximum space for others to park. Sometimes I just walk away, but yesterday she stopped me and asked if I heard her and if I planned to move up. I think this is getting out of hand. What is the best way to ask my overzealous neighbor to take a chill pill? -- Parking Police

DEAR PARKING POLICE: You can tell her that you hear her about whatever gripe she is addressing without changing your action. What will happen? She will be disappointed as she also discovers that she does not have complete control over the neighborhood.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My manager has a habit of scheduling meetings that often run long, and they frequently overlap with other commitments on my calendar. Most of the time, these overlapping commitments are networking chats with colleagues. I know that my primary responsibility is to prioritize my manager and my team’s work, but I feel like I’m constantly in the awkward position of having to cancel or reschedule those networking meetings at the last minute. It’s especially uncomfortable when I have to push back on someone’s time just minutes before the meeting starts; I worry it makes me look unprofessional or like I don’t value that person’s time. At the same time, I don’t want my boss to think I’m unwilling to be flexible since I understand things come up and meetings don’t always run on schedule.

How can I bring this up with my manager in a way that’s respectful but still communicates that these constant conflicts are putting me in a tough spot? I want to make sure I’m being a team player while also protecting my professional reputation and relationships outside of my team. -- Establishing Boundaries

DEAR ESTABLISHING BOUNDARIES: You have noticed a pattern with your boss, so, for starters, schedule your networking meetings an hour later than you have been in order to give yourself a buffer.

You can also speak to your boss to say that you have made plans on particular days or evenings and you will have to leave even if a meeting runs long. Do your best to manage your time by sharing your calendar early on.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My boss recently started following me on social media. At first I didn’t think much of it, but now he comments on nearly everything I post: pictures of my dog, updates from family events, even casual things like a photo of my dinner. What started out as a harmless interaction is beginning to feel invasive, like my boss has a window into parts of my life I’d rather keep separate from work. I try to keep my posts light and respectful, but I also use social media to connect with friends and share personal opinions that don’t have anything to do with my job. Knowing that my boss is not only watching but actively chiming in makes me feel self-conscious and even a little judged. At the same time, I don’t want to block or restrict him and risk looking unprofessional, unfriendly or like I have something to hide.

I feel caught between wanting to preserve healthy boundaries and worrying about how my boss might interpret it if I distance myself online. How do I handle this situation without damaging my professional relationship or my peace of mind? -- Social Conflict

DEAR SOCIAL CONFLICT: It would be awkward to ask your boss to stop observing or posting on your page. Don’t do that. Simply be mindful of what you post, as you should be doing anyway. You know he is looking, and others are, too. Don’t post anything that could compromise your job, your integrity or your professional relationships. Avoid posting anything that could hurt you down the line.

Here’s some advice to everyone: Do not post anything in haste, when intoxicated or when emotionally charged. It could backfire.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)