DEAR HARRIETTE: At the end of the summer, I went back home to celebrate my mom’s birthday. Since I got married and moved, I don’t get to see my family as often, so I was looking forward to the quality time. We all got together at my parents’ house -- my siblings, their families, my wife and me -- for dinner and some fun. During the opening prayer, my mom decided to pray for God to warm my wife’s “cold heart.” Honestly, I knew there was some tension, but that was too far!

How could my mother insult my wife in a room full of people during a prayer? She turned what was supposed to be a nice reunion into an awful memory. When she said it, I immediately stood up, turned to my wife and told her we were leaving. My mom called me the next day, but she tried to justify what she said. She refused to apologize, so we haven’t spoken since that phone call. How can I rectify this? -- Cold Heart

DEAR COLD HEART: Talk to your wife to find out the source of their discord. Ask her to think hard about what may have happened to create such a negative feeling in your mother. If your wife had some role in offending or hurting your mother, suggest that she apologize directly so that the two of them can move forward. If your wife can’t see what the problem is, investigate further.

Request a conversation with your mother. Ask her to explain what her beef is with your wife. What happened that got her so upset, and what can be done about it? Suggest that no matter what it is, the three of you need to get together to discuss and heal. You must be proactive if not pushy here, because your wife and mother are essential family members. You need them to get along. Say as much to them and ask them to try.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m supposed to be headed to a wedding this weekend, but I’m in a fight with my boyfriend. He’s one of the groomsmen in the wedding, and a few weeks back, they took a bachelor’s trip to Las Vegas. When he got back from the trip, he admitted to me that he’d gotten a lap dance from a nude dancer. I thought that was a violation of our boundaries. He says he told me only because he didn’t think it was a big deal, but for me it is a big deal. I couldn’t quite articulate why, but it upset me. My boyfriend has been busy lately prepping for the wedding, but I think we should talk again before this weekend. If I express my discomfort but he’s not willing to leave those kinds of experiences behind, is it worth breaking up with him? -- Lap Dance

DEAR LAP DANCE: Talk to your boyfriend about boundaries. Tell him how his behavior made you feel, as you thank him for being honest about it. Ask him how he would feel if you did something like that. That may help him to understand your emotions better. Agree on what acceptable behavior is for each of you and what you expect of each other. Then trust that you both will live up to those values. Do your best not to try to spy on him. That will not help matters.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started my new job, and my boss has given me little guidance. When I reach out with questions, the responses are either short, vague or delayed. I was expecting some kind of structured onboarding or training, or at least regular check-ins to help me transition smoothly, but that hasn’t happened. Most days I’m left trying to piece together things on my own, and I have no idea if I’m meeting expectations or completely missing the mark. This lack of communication is starting to take a toll on my confidence. I worked hard to get this job, and I want to prove myself, but it’s difficult when I don’t know if I’m doing things the right way. I don’t want to come across as incompetent, but at the same time, I feel like I’m failing simply because I don’t have the information or support I need.

I’ve started to dread going to work because I feel so directionless. Should I be more assertive in pushing for feedback and clarification, or do I risk annoying my boss by asking too many questions? Is this a red flag about the work culture at this company, or is it just something I need to push through as I get adjusted? -- Need Guidance

DEAR NEED GUIDANCE: Sadly, in many businesses, employees don’t get much guidance. It is wonderful when companies have onboarding programs, but yours is not one of them. Look around and notice employees who seem to have things under control and who have been there for a while. Befriend someone who may be willing to talk to you about how things work at your company. Find someone who can be helpful, but be careful about sharing how much you don’t know. Request a meeting with your boss to review your work. Explain that you know that they are busy, but you want to be successful, and you need a few minutes of their time in order to make sure you are in alignment. Doing this is part of their job, so don’t give up until you get your meeting.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am hoping to get back into dating, but I’m a bit of an introvert. Recently, I was out with some friends -- most of whom are in relationships -- and we spotted a few handsome men at the bar. My friends encouraged me to go over and introduce myself, but I hesitated. I told my friends that the men had looked over to us a few times, so I didn’t see why I had to approach them. My friends told me that I keep missing opportunities because I am not willing to initiate or do something different for a change. Is that true? Are my traditional hopes and standards for romance keeping me from my next relationship? -- Traditional Courting

DEAR TRADITIONAL DATING: Your friends’ encouragement was great. Walking over to say hello is not a marriage proposal -- but it is a great way to break the ice. Sometimes when people are in groups, it can feel daunting for someone to come over to talk to one person. What may be happening for you is that you see someone interesting and that person sees you, but both of you are nervous to say hello. Drum up the courage to make the first gesture and see what happens from there. Dating can be tough, but if you put yourself out there, you just may meet someone special who shares your values.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter, a high school junior, recently broke her leg, and it has turned our whole household upside down. She is a dedicated volleyball player and has been training nonstop for years. This was supposed to be her big season when college coaches would get to see her play and potentially recruit her. Unfortunately, she’s now missing out on the entire season, and she feels like all her hard work has gone to waste. She is heartbroken, and honestly, I don’t know how to help her. She spends hours scrolling through social media, watching her teammates play, and it makes her feel worse. I keep reminding her that she still has her senior year and that there are other ways to get noticed, but she doesn’t want to hear it right now. It’s hard to watch her go from being such a motivated, confident young woman to feeling discouraged and left behind. As a parent, I want to support her emotionally and help her find perspective, but I also don’t want to dismiss her feelings. This is a huge loss for her, and I know she’s grieving not just the injury but the lost opportunity. How can I comfort her during this difficult time while also keeping her spirits up and reminding her that this setback doesn’t have to end her dreams of playing in college? -- Turning Point

DEAR TURNING POINT: Find out if her school has a sports guidance counselor who can talk to her and help her work through her feelings. Now is a time when a professional can be extremely helpful. Also, speak to the coach and an academic adviser about the option of reclassing, which is the process of extending her high school tenure by a year so that she can still be a junior next year during the recruitment process. This may provide some relief because it could give her a second chance to get noticed during her junior year.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost quite a bit of weight over the past year, and I am proud of myself. I mainly made up my mind that I had to do it, and then I stopped eating as much and began to move more. I did not take any of the drugs that are so popular right now, though I don’t have anything against people who do. My issue is that when people notice my weight loss, they often look me up and down and ask if I take Ozempic or Mounjaro or another of those drugs. I find myself defending my own process and sometimes being judged because I didn’t use one of them. How can I get people to back off? It doesn’t matter how I lost the weight if it’s a good thing for me, right? -- Trimmed Down

DEAR TRIMMED DOWN: People are curious about the new drugs you mentioned in the category known as GLP-1 agonists. For some time, people were skeptical about them, but now it seems as though they are welcomed with open arms. Curiosity is fueling the questions you are getting. Just brush them off. Thank the person asking for noticing your weight loss. Tell them whatever part of your journey you want to reveal, and keep it moving. You are taking care of yourself, and that is fantastic!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)