DEAR HARRIETTE: I just started my new job, and my boss has given me little guidance. When I reach out with questions, the responses are either short, vague or delayed. I was expecting some kind of structured onboarding or training, or at least regular check-ins to help me transition smoothly, but that hasn’t happened. Most days I’m left trying to piece together things on my own, and I have no idea if I’m meeting expectations or completely missing the mark. This lack of communication is starting to take a toll on my confidence. I worked hard to get this job, and I want to prove myself, but it’s difficult when I don’t know if I’m doing things the right way. I don’t want to come across as incompetent, but at the same time, I feel like I’m failing simply because I don’t have the information or support I need.

I’ve started to dread going to work because I feel so directionless. Should I be more assertive in pushing for feedback and clarification, or do I risk annoying my boss by asking too many questions? Is this a red flag about the work culture at this company, or is it just something I need to push through as I get adjusted? -- Need Guidance

DEAR NEED GUIDANCE: Sadly, in many businesses, employees don’t get much guidance. It is wonderful when companies have onboarding programs, but yours is not one of them. Look around and notice employees who seem to have things under control and who have been there for a while. Befriend someone who may be willing to talk to you about how things work at your company. Find someone who can be helpful, but be careful about sharing how much you don’t know. Request a meeting with your boss to review your work. Explain that you know that they are busy, but you want to be successful, and you need a few minutes of their time in order to make sure you are in alignment. Doing this is part of their job, so don’t give up until you get your meeting.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I am hoping to get back into dating, but I’m a bit of an introvert. Recently, I was out with some friends -- most of whom are in relationships -- and we spotted a few handsome men at the bar. My friends encouraged me to go over and introduce myself, but I hesitated. I told my friends that the men had looked over to us a few times, so I didn’t see why I had to approach them. My friends told me that I keep missing opportunities because I am not willing to initiate or do something different for a change. Is that true? Are my traditional hopes and standards for romance keeping me from my next relationship? -- Traditional Courting

DEAR TRADITIONAL DATING: Your friends’ encouragement was great. Walking over to say hello is not a marriage proposal -- but it is a great way to break the ice. Sometimes when people are in groups, it can feel daunting for someone to come over to talk to one person. What may be happening for you is that you see someone interesting and that person sees you, but both of you are nervous to say hello. Drum up the courage to make the first gesture and see what happens from there. Dating can be tough, but if you put yourself out there, you just may meet someone special who shares your values.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My daughter, a high school junior, recently broke her leg, and it has turned our whole household upside down. She is a dedicated volleyball player and has been training nonstop for years. This was supposed to be her big season when college coaches would get to see her play and potentially recruit her. Unfortunately, she’s now missing out on the entire season, and she feels like all her hard work has gone to waste. She is heartbroken, and honestly, I don’t know how to help her. She spends hours scrolling through social media, watching her teammates play, and it makes her feel worse. I keep reminding her that she still has her senior year and that there are other ways to get noticed, but she doesn’t want to hear it right now. It’s hard to watch her go from being such a motivated, confident young woman to feeling discouraged and left behind. As a parent, I want to support her emotionally and help her find perspective, but I also don’t want to dismiss her feelings. This is a huge loss for her, and I know she’s grieving not just the injury but the lost opportunity. How can I comfort her during this difficult time while also keeping her spirits up and reminding her that this setback doesn’t have to end her dreams of playing in college? -- Turning Point

DEAR TURNING POINT: Find out if her school has a sports guidance counselor who can talk to her and help her work through her feelings. Now is a time when a professional can be extremely helpful. Also, speak to the coach and an academic adviser about the option of reclassing, which is the process of extending her high school tenure by a year so that she can still be a junior next year during the recruitment process. This may provide some relief because it could give her a second chance to get noticed during her junior year.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I lost quite a bit of weight over the past year, and I am proud of myself. I mainly made up my mind that I had to do it, and then I stopped eating as much and began to move more. I did not take any of the drugs that are so popular right now, though I don’t have anything against people who do. My issue is that when people notice my weight loss, they often look me up and down and ask if I take Ozempic or Mounjaro or another of those drugs. I find myself defending my own process and sometimes being judged because I didn’t use one of them. How can I get people to back off? It doesn’t matter how I lost the weight if it’s a good thing for me, right? -- Trimmed Down

DEAR TRIMMED DOWN: People are curious about the new drugs you mentioned in the category known as GLP-1 agonists. For some time, people were skeptical about them, but now it seems as though they are welcomed with open arms. Curiosity is fueling the questions you are getting. Just brush them off. Thank the person asking for noticing your weight loss. Tell them whatever part of your journey you want to reveal, and keep it moving. You are taking care of yourself, and that is fantastic!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to a gathering at a nightclub this weekend, and I sat with a private group of people who provided table service. It was very chic until random people started to sneak up and try to pour themselves free drinks from our bar setup. One woman came and sat with our group, even though we didn’t know her; she tried to force herself into photos when we were taking group shots. When this woman tried to pour herself a drink from our host’s bar setup, he pumped the brakes, but he didn’t ask her to leave our private area. When I asked him why, he said that he is a public figure, so he has to be nice to everyone. He let her stay there. I think he should have asked her to move as she kept trying to disrupt our group. What do you think? -- Nightclub Etiquette

DEAR NIGHTCLUB ETIQUETTE: What is supposed to happen in those situations is that the attendants who work at the club are to watch the area and ask people to leave if they are not part of the group. This is part of the service your host paid for. It is not the host’s job to play bouncer. If someone in a gathering like that gets unruly or if an outsider tries to intrude, the host should discreetly ask the attendant or a guard to have the person removed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved to New York City, and I was approached by a modeling scout. At first, it felt exciting and flattering, but now I’m feeling unsure about whether I want to pursue it. On the surface, modeling seems glamorous, but I’ve heard so many stories about how demanding, stressful and competitive the industry can be. I worry about being taken advantage of, the pressure to maintain a certain look and whether it would interfere with other goals I have for my career and personal life.

Part of me wants to explore the opportunity because it feels unique and could open doors, especially now that I’m in NYC and trying to figure out my next steps. Another part of me is hesitant to dive into something that could be more harmful than rewarding. I also don’t want to make a decision I'll regret. I keep going back and forth in my head, wondering if I’m overthinking or if my instincts are warning me to stay away. How do I figure out if this is a genuine opportunity worth pursuing or just something I should politely decline because I don’t feel as if it’s a good idea for my mental or physical health. -- Modeling Career

DEAR MODELING CAREER: Why not explore the opportunity with your eyes wide open? Yes, modeling can be demanding and sometimes seedy, but it can also be a fun and lucrative career option. Follow up to learn more and to see what you need to do in order to have a shot at it. Be clear about your values and boundaries so that you don’t let anyone take advantage of you. (If they start asking you for money, it's a bright red flag!) Give yourself a timeline to discover if this path is worthwhile for you to pursue. Evaluate along the way so that you stay on course. Have fun!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)