DEAR HARRIETTE: I was invited to a gathering at a nightclub this weekend, and I sat with a private group of people who provided table service. It was very chic until random people started to sneak up and try to pour themselves free drinks from our bar setup. One woman came and sat with our group, even though we didn’t know her; she tried to force herself into photos when we were taking group shots. When this woman tried to pour herself a drink from our host’s bar setup, he pumped the brakes, but he didn’t ask her to leave our private area. When I asked him why, he said that he is a public figure, so he has to be nice to everyone. He let her stay there. I think he should have asked her to move as she kept trying to disrupt our group. What do you think? -- Nightclub Etiquette

DEAR NIGHTCLUB ETIQUETTE: What is supposed to happen in those situations is that the attendants who work at the club are to watch the area and ask people to leave if they are not part of the group. This is part of the service your host paid for. It is not the host’s job to play bouncer. If someone in a gathering like that gets unruly or if an outsider tries to intrude, the host should discreetly ask the attendant or a guard to have the person removed.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I just moved to New York City, and I was approached by a modeling scout. At first, it felt exciting and flattering, but now I’m feeling unsure about whether I want to pursue it. On the surface, modeling seems glamorous, but I’ve heard so many stories about how demanding, stressful and competitive the industry can be. I worry about being taken advantage of, the pressure to maintain a certain look and whether it would interfere with other goals I have for my career and personal life.

Part of me wants to explore the opportunity because it feels unique and could open doors, especially now that I’m in NYC and trying to figure out my next steps. Another part of me is hesitant to dive into something that could be more harmful than rewarding. I also don’t want to make a decision I'll regret. I keep going back and forth in my head, wondering if I’m overthinking or if my instincts are warning me to stay away. How do I figure out if this is a genuine opportunity worth pursuing or just something I should politely decline because I don’t feel as if it’s a good idea for my mental or physical health. -- Modeling Career

DEAR MODELING CAREER: Why not explore the opportunity with your eyes wide open? Yes, modeling can be demanding and sometimes seedy, but it can also be a fun and lucrative career option. Follow up to learn more and to see what you need to do in order to have a shot at it. Be clear about your values and boundaries so that you don’t let anyone take advantage of you. (If they start asking you for money, it's a bright red flag!) Give yourself a timeline to discover if this path is worthwhile for you to pursue. Evaluate along the way so that you stay on course. Have fun!

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My friends and I are studying abroad in Europe, and we like to explore the party scene here. The clubs are strict -- they have security guards, and apparently everyone expects you to wear high heels and tiny dresses, neither of which are really my style. My friends and their tiny dresses were approved by the bouncer, but my mom jeans and I were not. This happened twice. I was embarrassed, but the fact that my friends decided not to go in made me feel a lot better.

I was thankful for them until they started encouraging me to dress differently so we could all get in. They badgered me about what I intended to wear days in advance, and if I didn’t go with the outfits they picked out for me, they’d get really annoyed. The third time I was turned away by a bouncer, my friends asked if I was OK to head home alone. I was shocked. I thought we would all leave and go elsewhere like usual, but I guess they prefer fun over friendship. Am I in the wrong friend group? -- In the Club

DEAR IN THE CLUB: You can’t put this on your friends. If there is a dress code that all of you have witnessed and you choose to ignore it, you should stop trying to go to that place. If your friends want to go, they should go without you. Given that you went multiple times together and they walked away because you didn’t get in, they’ve proven that they value your friendship. Ultimately, though, if they want to go somewhere you are unwilling to dress to attend, let them go without you. Don’t be mad, and don't try to hold them back with guilt.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband has taken to going to bed before 8 p.m. No, he is not an old man (though he is getting older). He says he’s tired and that he doesn’t want to stay up. He gets up early in the morning, so that’s that.

I was frustrated with him for deciding to cut off his day so dramatically, and then I learned from another friend that her husband had taken to napping a lot in the middle of the day and going to bed early. He was just diagnosed with cancer. My friend points to her husband’s lethargy as a sign of illness, though neither of them detected it at the time. I want my husband to have a physical just to make sure he’s OK, but he refuses. I can’t even remember when he last had one. How can I get him to at least get checked out? -- Worried

DEAR WORRIED: If your husband is not sleeping substantially more than eight hours a night, then he's probably just an "early to bed, early to rise" type of guy. If you are sure that's not all there is to it, sit down with him and remind him of how much you love him. Tell him that you are worried about him because of the change in his sleeping habits. Point out what you just learned about your friend’s husband. Add that you hope you are being overly anxious, but ask him to indulge you by going to get a physical. Ask him to get a full workup to put your mind at ease.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I recently adopted a dog, and while I’m excited to have a new companion, I’m realizing it’s a lot more responsibility than I anticipated. My schedule is hectic, and I’m struggling to find enough time for walks, training and giving him the attention he needs. On top of that, my dog has started chewing on furniture, getting into things he shouldn’t and acting out when I’m not home, which is creating tension with my roommates.

I love my dog and want to do right by him, but I worry that I’m not providing the care, guidance or structure he needs. I’ve tried a few training techniques I found online, but they don’t seem to be working consistently, and I don’t want to accidentally make things worse. I feel guilty leaving him alone, but I can’t be home all day with work and other commitments. How can I balance my busy life with properly caring for my dog, keeping him happy and healthy, and correcting his behavior in a way that’s effective? -- Doggy SOS

DEAR DOGGY SOS: Clearly, you need help. It may be a stretch financially, but I recommend that you look into doggy daycare. There are facilities that welcome dogs for the day; employees play with the dogs, groom them, feed them and walk them. Plus, your dog gets to socialize with other dogs.

Right now, your dog is acting out because he is lonely. You have to solve that. Another effective solution is to get a kennel for your dog where he can stay while you are away. Many kennel-trained dogs feel comfortable and happy in their kennels while their owners are at work.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I’m starting a new job soon, and I’ve just turned 30, so a goal I set for myself was to build healthier habits this year. I’ve been trying to establish better routines, be more responsible with money and prioritize my health. Meanwhile, my best friend still wants to go out and party almost every night, and when I turn her down, she acts hurt or gets upset with me. I feel like we’re no longer on the same page, almost like we’re living in two different life stages, and it’s becoming harder to relate to her. I don’t want to come across as judgmental or like I think I’m better than her, but the reality is that our lifestyles don’t match anymore. How can I step away from this friendship without creating drama or making her feel like I’m criticizing her choices? I still care about her, but I’m realizing that holding on to this friendship is starting to feel more draining than supportive. I’ve tried explaining my perspective, but she doesn’t seem to understand where I’m coming from. In order to respectfully end this friendship, what should I say to my friend? -- The End

DEAR THE END: Tell your friend that you love her, but you can’t hang out with her now. She has made it clear to you that she doesn’t like your new lifestyle choices, and you are uninterested in doing the things that the two of you used to do together, so it feels like a natural time to part ways.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)