DEAR HARRIETTE: I have always prioritized my credit. For our entire relationship, I have known that my fiance has been working on improving his credit, eliminating debts and being more fiscally responsible. Months ago, when he proposed to me, some of my fears came up and we discussed that I’d be more comfortable with a wedding date that’s further out so we can really focus on improving his credit before tying the knot. He agreed. Last night, he asked if I would add him to some of my credit cards in order to positively impact his score. I am not willing to do that, and he called me selfish. It was piercing. I know that we are entering a union, but I think it is important that he do this work of resolving an issue that he caused. And, honestly, I want to protect what I’ve built over the years. Am I selfish for that? -- Indebted
DEAR INDEBTED: You have to decide what constitutes a dealbreaker in your relationship and marriage. Having strong credit certainly is important for a comfortable life. Starting out with rocky credit is not a sign of stability, but what do you need in order to feel comfortable marrying this man? Are you willing to cover for him in this important arena? Have you talked to him in detail about how he ended up with bad credit in the first place?
People rarely change dramatically, which means there is a good chance that your partner’s financial habits will follow him into your marriage. Are you willing to live with that? If not, make it clear what he needs to do before you walk down the aisle. That includes repairing his credit on his own. Period.