DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend and I were watching a reality show where contestants try to find love. At one point, we got into a friendly debate about whether one of the couples on the show was genuinely in love. She was convinced that they were, while I had my doubts and said I didn’t think their connection seemed all that real. What started as a lighthearted conversation suddenly took a turn when she looked at me and said, “That’s just because you don’t know what love is.” Her words hit me like a punch to the gut.

I’ve never had an official boyfriend, not because I don’t want one, but because I’m usually not a man’s first choice. I’ve gone on dates, and I’ve tried putting myself out there, but things never really progress for me the way they do for her. She, on the other hand, has had multiple boyfriends and is currently in a strong, loving relationship. It felt like at that moment, she was using her relationship history to invalidate my perspective, like my experiences, or lack thereof, made me less qualified to have an opinion on what love looks like. It felt like she was bragging about her own romantic success while reminding me of something I already feel insecure about. Am I being too sensitive about her comment? -- Thoughtless Friend

DEAR THOUGHTLESS FRIEND: Talk to your friend and tell her that her words hurt you deeply. While you have not experienced a fulfilling loving relationship yet, you do have ideas about what love will look like for you, and you have clear opinions about what you’ve seen on this show. Tell her that you felt her words were insensitive, judgmental and unnecessary.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Last weekend, I went on a trip to New York City with a group of co-workers I’ve only recently started getting to know. I’ve been living in Los Angeles for a little under a year, and while I’ve hung out with some of them casually before, this was our first real trip together. There were eight of us in total, and from the moment we arrived, the energy was just off. Everyone seemed incredibly selfish and inconsiderate. People kept splitting off into cliques and making plans without telling the rest of us, and there were constant disagreements about everything, from where to eat to what shows to see to who should pay for what. At one point, it felt like I was being ganged up on for simply suggesting we stick to the itinerary we had all agreed on beforehand. By the end of the weekend, I felt completely drained, excluded and embarrassed that I had agreed to go. It was awkward and stressful, and now I’m dreading going back to work and having to see these people every day. How do I handle the tension and awkwardness at work now? -- Group Trip Gone Wrong

DEAR GROUP TRIP GONE WRONG: See if you can adopt the attitude that whatever happened on vacation stays on vacation. Don’t bring the misadventures of your trip back into the workplace. Stay professional and cordial with your co-workers, and do not rehash whatever occurred while you were away. Do your best to stay out of what sounds like high-school antics. Focus on your work.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I find myself in some kind of an adversarial situation with my partner of 11 years almost every day. I say left, and he says right. I have an idea, and he shuts it down. It almost doesn’t matter what we are talking about; if I say something, he looks at me with disgust on his face and shoots down whatever words come out of my mouth without even considering what I have said. I hate this and find it intolerable. I have pointed out this behavior to him, and he brushes it off, saying I am too sensitive. I don’t believe that is true, but even if it is, so what? I am his partner. If I am sensitive, shouldn’t he understand that and act accordingly? The way I am is not new. This attitude he has is new and extremely unbecoming. How can I get him to lighten up and be kind -- or at least show me some basic respect? -- Stop Belittling Me

DEAR STOP BELITTLING ME: Is anything different going on in your partner’s world? Has his employment changed? What about his financial circumstances? His health? Family dynamics? Perhaps something external is impacting his psyche, which, in turn, is impacting you. Ask him what’s going on and see if you can get him to open up.

Encourage your partner to go to therapy with you. Point out that you two seem to be bickering a lot. Tell him it upsets you and makes you worry about your future together. Implore him to take this seriously and seek help to guide you through this rough patch.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My roommate likes to shower every night and every morning. The way I grew up, that would have been considered irresponsible. We lived in an area that had a limited water supply. I’ve also done some mission work in other countries where water is rationed. When I worked in India, for example, people put water in buckets and sponge their bodies in order to preserve water, even when they have working showers. I have told my roommate about my experiences with the hope that she will be more mindful of her water usage, but she just laughs at me and calls me earthy crunchy. How can I get her to be more mindful? -- Use Less Water

DEAR USE LESS WATER: Without badgering her, continue to educate your roommate on the need for water discipline and the urgency of conserving it. Recommend that she limit her showers to a short period of time -- both for overall conservation and to leave hot water for your use.

Practice what you preach. You can demonstrate how to be more conscientious about water use by not running water as you wash dishes, taking shorter showers and turning off faucets completely. For more information on water and our planet, direct her to this article: liveabout.com/how-do-we-use-water-and-why-conserve-3157863.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my close friends has recently started gaining a lot of attention on social media, especially on TikTok. She’s gotten popular almost overnight, and ever since then, things have changed between us. She used to be someone I could talk to every day; we’d text, call, hang out and just be there for each other. Now, she barely responds to my texts and completely ignores my calls. I’ve tried to be supportive of her success -- including engaging with her content -- but it feels like I’ve been pushed aside now that she’s getting more attention online. I can’t help but feel like she thinks she’s better than me, like I’m not worth her time because I’m not an influencer.

I know people grow and change, but this feels more like she’s choosing to leave me behind. I’m hurt and confused, and I don’t know if I should confront her or just let the friendship go. How do I handle this without sounding jealous or bitter? -- Moving On

DEAR MOVING ON: There is a saying: Some friends are for a reason, some are for a season and some are for a lifetime. What do you think this friendship means in your whole life? Of course it hurts for you to experience her pulling away from you, but step back and look at the big picture. What is she chasing these days? Clearly it is not you.

For your own self-preservation, take a step back. Stop trying to get her to pay attention to you, and stop feeling hurt when she is dismissive. Live your life. Surround yourself with people who support you. Be wary of the pull of social media, even as you notice its value. Don’t waste your breath trying to convince your friend that she should love you. Right now, she doesn’t have the bandwidth to realize what she is doing. Instead, muster up your courage and strength and wish her well as you open your eyes to new friends who may be curious about you and your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and kids are begging me to get a dog. They talk about it constantly, sending me cute pictures, suggesting names and promising that they’ll take full responsibility. I know they mean well, but I’m really hesitant, and, honestly, I don’t want one. I feel like I’m being cast as the bad guy in the family for saying no, but I have my reasons. When I was growing up, my parents let us have all kinds of pets: dogs, cats, hamsters, birds -- you name it. At first, it was exciting, but this wore off quickly, and the responsibility always seemed to fall on me. I cleaned up the messes, fed them, walked them and dealt with the chaos. It became so overwhelming that I swore I’d never get another animal once I moved out on my own. Now, years later, I’m a working mom juggling a full schedule and a household, and the thought of adding a dog into the mix just feels like another chore waiting to land on my plate. I’ve seen this play out with other families, too. Kids swear they’ll help, but a few weeks in, it’s mom doing the feeding, the walking, the vet appointments and the clean-up. Is it wrong for me to put my foot down on this? -- Want a Dog

DEAR WANT A DOG: Stick to your guns. Don’t agree to something you don’t want to be responsible for handling. Tell your children they can have a dog when they have their own home.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)