DEAR HARRIETTE: One of my close friends has recently started gaining a lot of attention on social media, especially on TikTok. She’s gotten popular almost overnight, and ever since then, things have changed between us. She used to be someone I could talk to every day; we’d text, call, hang out and just be there for each other. Now, she barely responds to my texts and completely ignores my calls. I’ve tried to be supportive of her success -- including engaging with her content -- but it feels like I’ve been pushed aside now that she’s getting more attention online. I can’t help but feel like she thinks she’s better than me, like I’m not worth her time because I’m not an influencer.

I know people grow and change, but this feels more like she’s choosing to leave me behind. I’m hurt and confused, and I don’t know if I should confront her or just let the friendship go. How do I handle this without sounding jealous or bitter? -- Moving On

DEAR MOVING ON: There is a saying: Some friends are for a reason, some are for a season and some are for a lifetime. What do you think this friendship means in your whole life? Of course it hurts for you to experience her pulling away from you, but step back and look at the big picture. What is she chasing these days? Clearly it is not you.

For your own self-preservation, take a step back. Stop trying to get her to pay attention to you, and stop feeling hurt when she is dismissive. Live your life. Surround yourself with people who support you. Be wary of the pull of social media, even as you notice its value. Don’t waste your breath trying to convince your friend that she should love you. Right now, she doesn’t have the bandwidth to realize what she is doing. Instead, muster up your courage and strength and wish her well as you open your eyes to new friends who may be curious about you and your life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband and kids are begging me to get a dog. They talk about it constantly, sending me cute pictures, suggesting names and promising that they’ll take full responsibility. I know they mean well, but I’m really hesitant, and, honestly, I don’t want one. I feel like I’m being cast as the bad guy in the family for saying no, but I have my reasons. When I was growing up, my parents let us have all kinds of pets: dogs, cats, hamsters, birds -- you name it. At first, it was exciting, but this wore off quickly, and the responsibility always seemed to fall on me. I cleaned up the messes, fed them, walked them and dealt with the chaos. It became so overwhelming that I swore I’d never get another animal once I moved out on my own. Now, years later, I’m a working mom juggling a full schedule and a household, and the thought of adding a dog into the mix just feels like another chore waiting to land on my plate. I’ve seen this play out with other families, too. Kids swear they’ll help, but a few weeks in, it’s mom doing the feeding, the walking, the vet appointments and the clean-up. Is it wrong for me to put my foot down on this? -- Want a Dog

DEAR WANT A DOG: Stick to your guns. Don’t agree to something you don’t want to be responsible for handling. Tell your children they can have a dog when they have their own home.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband’s birthday is coming up soon, and I’m torn about how to handle it. Last year, on my birthday, he completely forgot it was even happening until the evening. I tried to brush it off, but it really hurt. When he finally remembered, he quickly suggested we go out to eat, and we ended up at Chili’s. Don’t get me wrong -- I appreciate any effort, but it felt like such an afterthought, especially because I always go out of my way to make his birthdays feel special. I plan activities, I surprise him and I try to make the day meaningful.

Now that my husband’s birthday is around the corner, part of me feels like doing the same thing he did for me: waiting until the evening and then taking him somewhere super casual, just to see how he reacts. I know it might sound childish or even petty, but I feel like I’m constantly giving more effort than I receive, and I’m tired of it. I don’t want to stoop to his level, but I also don’t want to keep setting the bar high for someone who doesn’t do the same in return. Would it be completely immature if I did what he did for me last year, or is there a better way to make a point without being petty? -- Bad Birthday

DEAR BAD BIRTHDAY: Rather than fretting over what your husband doesn’t do, tell him what you would like him to do for you for your big day. Let this include whatever you feel makes your birthday special; you can even tell him what you’d like to receive as a gift. Ask him to think about that as he plans your celebration next year. Make it clear that you expect him to do something to make you feel happy.

Does this spoil whatever surprise might come? Hopefully, it eliminates the possibility that your husband does nothing, because you will be reminding him in advance of your special day and alerting him to how to celebrate.

Don’t be petty with your husband’s birthday. Show him how you want your own birthday to be celebrated, and enjoy what you plan.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love to go to the beach and hang out in the sun. My spouse does not. She has extremely sensitive skin, which is likely why she avoids the sun. This is a bummer for me. When I think of things to do for fun in the summer, every idea involves being outside in the sun. She has the opposite thoughts. How can I be more considerate of her without completely giving up my source of fun? -- Sun Worshipper

DEAR SUN WORSHIPPER: Think about your spouse AND yourself as you plan activities. If you want to go to the beach, find a location that has cabana services so your spouse can be completely shaded as you sit nearby in the sun. Research garments with technology that blocks harmful rays, and make it possible for your spouse to be outside. Look into fun outdoor activities that start after the sun goes down. Maybe she can visit a spa during the day while you sunbathe, and the two of you can dance at night under the stars, safe from harmful rays. Put your thinking cap on.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: As parents, I’m sure most of us have experienced a squabble or disagreement between our kids. I definitely have, but they’re usually short-lived. Currently, two of my girls aren’t speaking and haven’t been for a few months. This all started because my older daughter made a joke about me owing her back pay because my younger daughter’s college tuition was more expensive than hers. My younger daughter, who is usually quite docile, blew up at the comment. She called her older sister ungrateful, rude and spoiled. They argued like I’ve never seen before, and they haven’t spoken since. I tried talking to my younger daughter about it, but she won’t apologize. I don’t think her sentiments were wrong; the joke was in poor taste. I think as a family we should never be so hostile toward each other. How do I get my girls back on track? -- Family Disagreement

DEAR FAMILY DISAGREEMENT: Rather than continuing to fish for apologies, look for a way forward. It can start by you bringing the two of them together to address the topic that sparked it all. State that you have cared for each of your daughters to the best of your ability and individually based on their needs. It pains you to see that there would be any jealousy or envy sparked by how you provided for their education -- or anything else, for that matter.

Tell them that family must come first. Yes, there will be arguments and disagreements, just as they recently had. That’s life. But family should be more valuable than any squabble. Ask them to forgive each other for any hurtful words or actions and to commit to reclaiming their sisterhood. Sometimes you just have to let go of the past. Invite them to do that.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have an employee who’s been with me for nearly eight years. I’m a small business owner, so eight years is about as good as being family. She has always been a great contributor, but lately things have changed. Her work is often incomplete or submitted late. It is rare that she arrives on time anymore. She often steps away to take personal calls, and extended lunches are her new normal. Based on our history, I can’t allow myself to think that she’s become an awful worker overnight. It seems so unlikely. I’ve tried having various stern but caring conversations with her. I’ve invited her to be open with me so that I can help accommodate whatever workplace changes she may need at the moment, but she insists that everything is fine and that she’ll do better. I want to be able to help, but it feels inappropriate to pry. At this point, her performance is affecting the bigger picture, and I may need to let her go, but I’d really hate to do that to someone who has been such a big help over the years. What would you do? -- Concerned Employer

DEAR CONCERNED EMPLOYER: Sit her down and tell her that her inconsistent and progressively unprofessional job performance is negatively impacting her future. Remind her that you have spoken to her on several occasions about your observations, but she hasn’t improved. Ask again if something is wrong and if you can help. Let her know that if she doesn’t return to her previous level of professionalism, she will lose her job.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)