DEAR HARRIETTE: My partner and I have been together for a while now, and I truly care about him. He's kind and stable, and we have a strong connection. The only issue is that we’re at different stages in our lives. He’s five years older than me and is ready to settle down. He talks about marriage, buying a home and planning for the future in concrete ways. Meanwhile, I’m still trying to figure things out. I’m just beginning to explore who I am, what I want from my career and what kind of life I want to build. It’s not that I don’t see a future with him; it’s that I’m not sure when that future would feel right for me.

Sometimes I feel guilty for not being as ready as he is, like I’m holding him back. Other times I feel overwhelmed by the pressure to speed up my own timeline to match his. I want to be fair to both of us, but I’m scared of making a decision I’ll regret, whether that means rushing into something I’m not prepared for or walking away from someone I really love. How do I know if this relationship can survive us being in different phases of life? -- Not on the Same Page

DEAR NOT ON THE SAME PAGE: Relationships require acceptance and compromise. Talk about your situation directly. Explain to your partner where you are and the uncertainty that you feel -- not about him, but about the timing. Consider together how comfortable you can be if you stay together but move at a slower pace. Agree on boundaries that you are both willing to enforce in your relationship as well as time markers for when you will check in to see where you both stand about the future.

Think about the long term. Some people are able to find a rhythm even when their clocks are different. For others, the years between them cause a great divide. You will need to determine what works for you. It needs to be an agreement.

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over the weekend, my daughter had a few of her friends over while I was out running errands. When I came home, I discovered that an expensive crystal vase had been shattered. This wasn’t just any vase: It was a gift from my deceased grandmother. Apparently, one of the girls accidentally knocked it over while they were playing. My daughter apologized, and I know it wasn’t intentional, but I can’t help feeling upset. I’ve been trying not to take it out on her, but I also feel like she should’ve been more careful and respectful, especially knowing how important that vase was to me.

I’m also not sure whether to say something to the parents of the friend who broke it. Part of me feels like it’s just a mistake and maybe I should let it go, but the other part thinks there should be some accountability, especially considering the emotional and financial value of the item. How do I handle this without damaging relationships but still honoring how I feel? -- Upset

DEAR UPSET: Let it go. Do not reach out to the parents. It was an accident. For the future, put valuables in safe places and possibly relegate your daughter and her company to play-safe areas of your home.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: Over Memorial Day weekend, I hosted a small get-together at my home with my extended family. My cousin brought her 1-year-old son, who’s just starting to walk and explore the world around him. He’s a sweet little boy and was especially fascinated by my dog. The problem is that my dog has never been great around small children. He’s anxious by nature and tends to get overstimulated easily. I usually keep him away from kids for that reason, but in the chaos of the day, I let my guard down.

At one point, before anyone could intervene, the baby startled my dog, and my dog reacted by biting him. It wasn’t just a nip, either. It was a hard bite, and it left a mark. Thankfully, the injury wasn’t severe, but it was enough to cause a lot of distress, especially for my cousin and her husband. My cousin was understandably upset, and while she tried to be civil about it, I could tell she was angry and hurt.

I feel so much guilt about the bite, but I’m also worried about what this means for our relationship moving forward and for my dog. I don’t know how to make things right. Should I have done more to prevent the situation? How do I approach my cousin now and express how sorry I am without making things worse? -- Dog Bite

DEAR DOG BITE: Follow up with your cousin to make sure her son is OK. Apologize again for what happened. Assure her that in the future, you will put your dog on a leash or otherwise ensure that your dog is nowhere near the child when they visit.

Chances are, they won’t be visiting anytime soon. In time, they might if you can guarantee that their child will be out of harm’s way. Some people cage their dogs or shut them in another room when they have visitors.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend keeps self-sabotaging her future, but I can’t quite figure out why or how to help. At one point, she was doing really well in school. She was a stellar student and had a sharp mind. We were both supposed to graduate two years ago, but halfway through our senior year, she decided to switch her major completely, which set her back about three years. Since then, she changed her major once more and then decided school just wasn’t for her.

Since leaving school, my friend has had long periods of unemployment or short periods working here, there and everywhere. This is someone who used to have her whole life planned out. Do you think it is pressure that caused her to change so drastically? Did I miss something major that happened to her? -- Complete 180

DEAR COMPLETE 180: Your friend might be suffering from depression or another mental illness that has derailed her. Perhaps a traumatic experience occurred that she is not dealing with directly. If you think she will talk to you, ask her what’s going on. Gently try to get her to talk to you about her choices and her desires for the future. Do your best to be there for her without judgment as she weathers this period of uncertainty, but don’t beat yourself up. Your friend is living her life. You must live yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband wants to have a baby; I do not. Now, you’re probably thinking that we should’ve discussed this before we got married, but I don’t think either of us had a hard stance on the subject back then. My husband has two beautiful stepdaughters from a previous relationship, and when he and I were dating, I spent a lot of time getting to know them. I love children and thought I was open to them, but five years into marriage and stepmotherhood with a fast-paced career to tend to, I don’t feel the need to have my own.

Recently, my husband shared with me that he would really love for us to have a child together. He showers me with compliments about what kind of mother he knows I would be, and while I appreciate it, I feel happy with the children we currently have in our lives. How can two people compromise on something so black and white? -- Baby Fever

DEAR BABY FEVER: You just have to be honest. Tell him you appreciate his belief that you would be a great mom, but it is not something you want or are willing to commit to doing. Point out that you understand the sacrifice, and you lack the interest or willingness to do that. Note that you love his stepchildren and are grateful that they are integral to your lives, and that’s enough for you. Apologize for not discussing this before you got married.

Do know that should you get pregnant, your opinion might change. It did for me 100%. I wasn’t planning on having children, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son and I have a strange relationship. Since he moved out, things have been even more strained. We were never close; he was always a bit tucked away and not welcoming when I would try to bond with him, but now he doesn’t even call me. I didn’t see any of this coming. I am trying hard not to let my feelings get the best of me, but I feel rejected at this point, which keeps me from calling him. He still stops by the house for holidays and when he needs something, so I try to be kind. When we know he’s coming over, I’ll cook food for him to take back with him and try to purchase things he may need, but still, it seems like it’s hard for him to reciprocate any gestures. I just want to know that he’s open to trying. What am I doing wrong? -- Sad Mom

DEAR SAD MOM: Accept your son for who he is, knowing he has always been distant. Don’t be mad that he doesn’t call you. Call him if you want to check in. Don’t let your feelings get the best of you. Continue to do kind things for him. Thank him when he comes to visit. Enjoy the moments you do have without expectation. Don’t wait for anything else from him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)