DEAR HARRIETTE: Over Memorial Day weekend, I hosted a small get-together at my home with my extended family. My cousin brought her 1-year-old son, who’s just starting to walk and explore the world around him. He’s a sweet little boy and was especially fascinated by my dog. The problem is that my dog has never been great around small children. He’s anxious by nature and tends to get overstimulated easily. I usually keep him away from kids for that reason, but in the chaos of the day, I let my guard down.

At one point, before anyone could intervene, the baby startled my dog, and my dog reacted by biting him. It wasn’t just a nip, either. It was a hard bite, and it left a mark. Thankfully, the injury wasn’t severe, but it was enough to cause a lot of distress, especially for my cousin and her husband. My cousin was understandably upset, and while she tried to be civil about it, I could tell she was angry and hurt.

I feel so much guilt about the bite, but I’m also worried about what this means for our relationship moving forward and for my dog. I don’t know how to make things right. Should I have done more to prevent the situation? How do I approach my cousin now and express how sorry I am without making things worse? -- Dog Bite

DEAR DOG BITE: Follow up with your cousin to make sure her son is OK. Apologize again for what happened. Assure her that in the future, you will put your dog on a leash or otherwise ensure that your dog is nowhere near the child when they visit.

Chances are, they won’t be visiting anytime soon. In time, they might if you can guarantee that their child will be out of harm’s way. Some people cage their dogs or shut them in another room when they have visitors.

DEAR HARRIETTE: A friend keeps self-sabotaging her future, but I can’t quite figure out why or how to help. At one point, she was doing really well in school. She was a stellar student and had a sharp mind. We were both supposed to graduate two years ago, but halfway through our senior year, she decided to switch her major completely, which set her back about three years. Since then, she changed her major once more and then decided school just wasn’t for her.

Since leaving school, my friend has had long periods of unemployment or short periods working here, there and everywhere. This is someone who used to have her whole life planned out. Do you think it is pressure that caused her to change so drastically? Did I miss something major that happened to her? -- Complete 180

DEAR COMPLETE 180: Your friend might be suffering from depression or another mental illness that has derailed her. Perhaps a traumatic experience occurred that she is not dealing with directly. If you think she will talk to you, ask her what’s going on. Gently try to get her to talk to you about her choices and her desires for the future. Do your best to be there for her without judgment as she weathers this period of uncertainty, but don’t beat yourself up. Your friend is living her life. You must live yours.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: My husband wants to have a baby; I do not. Now, you’re probably thinking that we should’ve discussed this before we got married, but I don’t think either of us had a hard stance on the subject back then. My husband has two beautiful stepdaughters from a previous relationship, and when he and I were dating, I spent a lot of time getting to know them. I love children and thought I was open to them, but five years into marriage and stepmotherhood with a fast-paced career to tend to, I don’t feel the need to have my own.

Recently, my husband shared with me that he would really love for us to have a child together. He showers me with compliments about what kind of mother he knows I would be, and while I appreciate it, I feel happy with the children we currently have in our lives. How can two people compromise on something so black and white? -- Baby Fever

DEAR BABY FEVER: You just have to be honest. Tell him you appreciate his belief that you would be a great mom, but it is not something you want or are willing to commit to doing. Point out that you understand the sacrifice, and you lack the interest or willingness to do that. Note that you love his stepchildren and are grateful that they are integral to your lives, and that’s enough for you. Apologize for not discussing this before you got married.

Do know that should you get pregnant, your opinion might change. It did for me 100%. I wasn’t planning on having children, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done in my life.

DEAR HARRIETTE: My son and I have a strange relationship. Since he moved out, things have been even more strained. We were never close; he was always a bit tucked away and not welcoming when I would try to bond with him, but now he doesn’t even call me. I didn’t see any of this coming. I am trying hard not to let my feelings get the best of me, but I feel rejected at this point, which keeps me from calling him. He still stops by the house for holidays and when he needs something, so I try to be kind. When we know he’s coming over, I’ll cook food for him to take back with him and try to purchase things he may need, but still, it seems like it’s hard for him to reciprocate any gestures. I just want to know that he’s open to trying. What am I doing wrong? -- Sad Mom

DEAR SAD MOM: Accept your son for who he is, knowing he has always been distant. Don’t be mad that he doesn’t call you. Call him if you want to check in. Don’t let your feelings get the best of you. Continue to do kind things for him. Thank him when he comes to visit. Enjoy the moments you do have without expectation. Don’t wait for anything else from him.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions toaskharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)

DEAR HARRIETTE: I helped my friend “Erica” get hired at my company. I usually do not like recommending people I know to work with me, but the job market has been tough, so I didn’t mind. Erica was hired, and unfortunately she has not been performing well. She is about six months in now, and recently the hiring manager asked if I might speak with Erica to see if there’s any additional support that she needs to help her be her best self. I did just that, and Erica did not appreciate it. She told me that my reference was the extent of the help that she needed from me; that was a rude awakening. Later, the hiring manager told me that Erica is rarely on time for work and even for important meetings. Because Erica set that boundary, though, I don’t feel comfortable talking to her about her performance again. Should I feel guilty if this all costs her the job? -- Work Performance

DEAR WORK PERFORMANCE: Your reputation is on the line at your job. You must preserve that, so I recommend two steps. Though Erica asked you to stay out of her business, butt in one more time. Tell her that you know she doesn’t want you to meddle, but you need to let her know that her unprofessional behavior has been brought to your attention. Because you recommended her, her behavior reflects directly on you. Ask her to recommit to the job or look for another as you believe she is not meeting expectations at your company.

Next, speak to the hiring manager. Explain that you spoke to Erica about their concerns, but you hope her performance doesn’t reflect on you. Apologize for any disruption she may be causing. Do know, however, that it is highly unprofessional for the hiring manager to bring their concerns about a colleague to you rather than speaking to that person directly.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I love your column, but I do want to comment on your letter to “Off-Limits,” whose boyfriend of two months wouldn't show her his home. While your response was good, I don't think it went far enough. If she sat him down and told him her concerns, I think the odds are low that he would open up with her and be honest -- and, no matter what he told her, how could she really know if he was being honest? He could give her some sob story about being homeless or couch-surfing or something else, and it could have been covering up the real fact that he had another woman at home.

After two months, I think it's a huge red flag that he won’t show her his place; I would strongly advise her to break it off before she gets more involved with him. -- Second Thoughts

DEAR SECOND THOUGHTS: Thank you for your kind words about my column and your thoughts about this woman’s boyfriend. Many people have chimed in on this one -- it hit a nerve! I see why you say to break it off. I have one more thought, which is to slow way down if he is hiding where he lives. Don’t get too close until you have developed complete trust. That has to include revealing basic details about your life.

(Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)