DEAR ABBY: My grandson "Ethan" and his fiancee lived with his mother until four years ago. When they moved out, they decided not to give his parents their new address. It has been several years since my daughter has seen her son. Apparently, they occasionally text.

Ethan was married seven months ago. He didn't invite his parents as he felt they would "make it about themselves" and distract from his day. He said I'd be invited to his wedding and would receive a nice picture from the photographer. The wedding date came and went. I saw pictures on social media, so I knew it had transpired. At the time, my gut feeling was that he felt awkward inviting me and his aunt but not his parents.

In the past, I have sent Ethan a check on his birthday and at Christmas and helped him financially with vehicle repairs. Although I was not invited, I sent a congratulatory card for the wedding, with a significant check enclosed. He cashed the check but did not acknowledge receipt of the card.

Because neither he nor his wife acknowledged my wedding gift, I am debating what to do for his next birthday. Should I ignore the occasion, or be an example of unconditional love and send a card? I will not send him money, as I think it was beyond rude not to acknowledge my wedding check. What would Dear Abby do? -- ESTRANGED BY ASSOCIATION

DEAR ESTRANGED: Dear Abby would recognize that not being invited to the wedding, after being told I would be, was a breach of etiquette. That I lovingly sent a check as a wedding gift, which was cashed with no acknowledgment, would indicate (to me) that my grandson has chosen to distance himself from me. By all means, send a birthday card if you wish, but please don't be surprised when it, too, garners no response.

DEAR ABBY: My 25th class reunion is coming up, and I'm debating whether to go because I'm not sure how to handle a conversation that is sure to come up. I was very close to my classmates until five years ago, when my husband and I faced a series of family tragedies that took all of my time and energy. The worst was losing a daughter who would have been graduating this year.

I'm ready to reconnect with my old friends, but how do I deal with casual conversations without making light of the situation or being a wet blanket? If someone asks, "How is your daughter doing?" I need to have a reasonable response that isn't going to be awful for both of us. The thought of having to talk about it makes me want to stay home. Advice? -- UNDECIDED IN LOS ANGELES

DEAR UNDECIDED: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your daughter. If someone at the reunion hasn't already heard about her death and asks how she's doing, respond with the truth, which is that she passed away several years ago. If someone asks for the details, simply say you don't want to discuss it further and change the subject.

DEAR ABBY: My son married a lovely woman, "Noelle," two years ago. They live a couple of hours away and have a 1-year-old son, my third grandchild. Noelle's parents live 10 miles from my home. She and the baby go there nearly every weekend but NEVER come by mine. I haven't seen them since the baby's birthday five months ago.

My daughter lives down the street from Noelle's parents. She wasn't invited to the baby's first birthday even though she's the mother of his cousins, so I took her children with me. There were other people there, mostly adults and her cousin's baby.

We are not horrible people. There has never been any ugliness between any of us. I'm very hurt because they don't recognize me as a grandmother or any of us as part of the family. My son's father has never been allowed to meet the baby, and I don't think he's even met Noelle.

I have asked my son and daughter-in-law to bring the baby, leave him for the day or even overnight so we can spend some time and get to know him, but it never happens. What can I say to make them understand how much they are hurting the family and the baby by avoiding us? I don't want to make it worse. -- DISAPPOINTED GRANDMA IN TEXAS

DEAR GRANDMA: This is a subject you should discuss with your son, who appears to be clueless or entirely ineffectual. Does he recognize what has been happening -- that his parents have been pushed entirely out of the picture? If the answer to that question is yes, perhaps he can shed some light on why. If the answer is no, tell HIM how this has made you feel. If you do, perhaps he will assert himself. Better late than never.

DEAR ABBY: One year ago, my heart was torn out of my chest when my wife died after a five-year battle with stage-4 breast cancer. It was the beginning of the end of my world. I'm alone now. We have two cats I still take care of and all the daily chores of a normal household.

I have tried looking at dating sites, and I see a couple of women I might be interested to know. Here's where I need a female stranger's perspective: I still hurt inside, and I know I will for some time. I also feel that if I have someone to talk to, it'll be the personal therapy I need to help get me back on track. However, I also feel that if I start dating, it will be like I'm cheating on my wife, and the hurt comes back. What am I supposed to do? -- CONFLICTED IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR CONFLICTED: Please accept my sympathy for the loss of your wife. If you feel you need a woman's perspective, find a female licensed psychotherapist to help you get back on track. If you do this, you are less likely to dump your guilt and grief on someone who might take advantage of it or be driven away by it. If you can't afford a therapist, joining a grief support group may help you expiate any guilt you feel about going on with your life.

DEAR ABBY: I am a 31-year-old woman who is not yet established in life. I have no husband or boyfriend, no kids and no clear direction for a career. I start new, low-level jobs often. My problem is that I look deceptively young for my age. At most, I look 18 or 19.

These employers, co-workers and supervisors treat me differently, and some talk down to me. Some refer to me as a "girl" instead of a "woman." Some give me incredulous looks if I reminisce about the '90s. I have even been accused of lying about my age. Some even had the guts to ask for my driver's license. Others talk about how "adorable" I am if they think I'm out of earshot.

I have tried wearing more mature outfits, but they were uncomfortable, and it felt inauthentic. I tried wearing makeup every day, but I just looked like a teenager who wears makeup. When I tried mentioning it during icebreakers, it elicited giggles of disbelief. I also tried referring to the year I graduated from college. It doesn't matter that I speak and behave like an adult, because employees have admitted they thought I was just a precocious teen.

It doesn't help that my hobbies include cartoons and anime. Nor does it help that I can be painfully shy, which, I believe, many people confuse with inexperience. This has been an issue my entire life, but it has grown more pronounced as I age. The most common (and least helpful) advice I get is "You'll appreciate it when you're older." Well, I am concerned with the present. Advice? -- BABY FACE IN RHODE ISLAND

DEAR BABY FACE: You look young, act youthful and are following a life path usually associated with someone 10 years younger. This may explain your co-workers' confusion about your age. Some of them may also be jealous or closed-minded.

It may be time to cut down on job-hopping and home in on a career. If you do, your co-workers may have the opportunity to get to know you better. Until then, be cordial, stand up for yourself and stop letting the remarks get to you. You know who you are, and that's what is most important.

DEAR ABBY: My wife of three years has no respect for me. She calls me vulgar names in public and thinks it's funny. I have a bladder control problem, and she brings that up in public all the time. I am starting to resent it. I love my wife, but I don't like feeling this way. Please help or give me some advice. -- ONLY HUMAN IN MINNESOTA

DEAR HUMAN: Have you told your wife how the vulgar names and ridicule about your incontinence problem make you feel? If you haven't, you should. If you have done that, then reread the first line of your letter to me. Your wife's behavior indicates that not only does she not respect you, but she also has a cruel sense of humor and little love for you. How you choose to deal with that realization is up to you. You have my sympathy.