DEAR ABBY: My husband and I married 20 years ago. We have a blended family of eight kids, but it's just us now. Our kids are scattered across the country. Over all these 20 years, we have never taken a vacation just for us. We have always visited family.

Now, after scrimping, saving and planning, our dream trip is finally happening. We are visiting Disneyland! Problem is, our youngest just relocated to L.A. I bought tickets, scheduled tours and reserved meals for just the two of us. But my husband has included our son in everything now -- all park visits, dinners, etc. Don't get me wrong -- I love my kids, but this was supposed to be "our" time.

I agreed to one dinner with our son, but other than that, we are on our own. My husband wants to include him in everything because he lives close by. Now my husband says he doesn't want to go at all. He insists that our son partake in everything we do, but I want this trip to be about us. We deserve this! How do I convince him that we need this trip? -- DISAPPOINTED IN OHIO

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: You shouldn't have to convince your husband to follow through on your dream vacation. He should have consulted you before inviting your son and telling him he will be included in everything. You wrote that you scrimped and saved for years to afford this vacation. How does he intend to pay for all those extra expenses for a third person? If your husband doesn't want an experience "just for the two of you," allow me to suggest it may be time to schedule something just for yourself. You have earned it.

DEAR ABBY: I was engaged to my husband for three years before we got married. A little more than a year ago, he was told that he had two years to live. Six months later, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary, and 10 days after that, he passed away.

I have met a man who is two years younger than I am who makes me laugh again. I feel like a schoolgirl when I'm around him. He wants to be a roommate, live with me and sleep upstairs. I sleep downstairs, but I don't know if I should let him or not. Advice? -- FEELING A BIT SCARED IN INDIANA

DEAR FEELING: Would this man be paying you rent and buying food, or would you be picking up the tab? If all he wants is to be your platonic roommate, but you are physically attracted to him, I recommend against proceeding with the arrangement. You would find it increasingly painful and frustrating, and when you finally had had enough pain and frustration, you might have to hire an attorney to help you get him out. What seems attractive now could be a huge pain in the posterior, and I guarantee it wouldn't leave you laughing. Keep things as they are until the relationship becomes more defined.

DEAR ABBY: My child "Logan" is the product of a sexual assault. He has located his father and formed a relationship with him. Logan didn't know the circumstances of his conception at the time he contacted his father. He has now been made fully aware by our family as to what occurred.

Abby, Logan has invited this person to his wedding. I do not want to attend if his father will be present. Logan has told me that this man WILL be attending and that the problem is MY issue. I love my son, but this is beyond traumatic for me. I want to be there for the special day, but I cannot bring myself to be in the same room with the person who assaulted me.

This situation has broken my heart. I feel as though my feelings don't matter to Logan and that he expects me to just push through this, go to the wedding and deal with it. What are your thoughts? -- WORST-CASE SCENARIO

DEAR WORST-CASE: Your son's insensitivity to your feelings is appalling. That he would demand you ignore the fact that you were a rape victim and spend even a minute in the perpetrator's presence is outrageous. Whatever decision you make to move forward is the right one for you. I am so sorry for your pain, which is palpable.

DEAR ABBY: I work with a lady who has drama swirling around her constantly. There's always something wrong with work, her house, her family, herself, her pets, etc. Each problem is worse than the next. At first, I was sympathetic and let her vent. Then I realized this is a daily occurrence, and all this negativity is draining not only my patience but also my mental health.

I have tried quickly moving past her work area, but she then follows me to mine. When I tried getting to work before she did, she started coming in earlier. When I tell her I need to complete an assignment, she continues to talk! I'd like to put some distance between us. But she's a nice person, and I hate to say, "I really can't listen to you complain every day." Any suggestions? -- RUNNING OUT OF PATIENCE

DEAR RUNNING: Yes, quit being such a "nice person" yourself and stop letting this co-worker use you as a trouble dump. The next time she approaches you, tell her that what she's doing is interfering with your work and sapping your energy, and you can no longer allow it. Say plainly that you need her to stop. If she doesn't, discuss the problem with your supervisor or HR.

DEAR READERS: Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and no Thanksgiving would be complete without sharing the traditional prayer penned by my dear late mother:

Oh, Heavenly Father,

We thank Thee for food and remember the hungry.

We thank Thee for health and remember the sick.

We thank Thee for friends and remember the friendless.

We thank Thee for freedom and remember the enslaved.

May these remembrances stir us to service,

That Thy gifts to us may be used for others.

Amen.

Have a happy and safe celebration, everyone! -- Love, ABBY

DEAR ABBY: I've been married to my husband for two months. I haven't told anyone I'm married except my close friends and family. Someone recently messaged me about my husband, stating that he has Asperger's. They know my name and have my phone number. I don't know who this person is or why they would tell me this now.

I already suspected my husband has Asperger's, so I'm not shocked, but this is eating me up inside. I can't sleep. I can't think. I recently lost my mom to cancer. Now I'm facing this. I previously dated a narcissist who used to lie regularly. But after all that heartbreak and torment, I'm now with someone who lies to me again? I'm so confused and upset. I really do want to ask my husband to get assessed. I don't think I can trust him anymore. Do you have advice for me? -- LOSING AGAIN IN CANADA

DEAR LOSING: Let me point out that individuals who write anonymous letters usually are not trying to be helpful and instead may be trying to cause trouble in your marriage. Before asking your husband to be assessed for Asperger's, go online and read as much information about it as you can. You might also consider contacting the Association for Autism and Neurodiversity (aane.org), which has been mentioned in my column before.

If what you learn from reliable resources indicates that it could be your husband's problem, then by all means suggest he be assessed. He may not necessarily be "lying" to you as much as being in denial. This does not have to destroy a marriage. Many successful people are on the spectrum.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend and co-worker is 57. I'm 32. Her husband died two years ago, leaving her and her 22-year-old son alone. We've been best friends and co-workers for the last six years, but over the last few months, I've been realizing she's a lot more to me than just a friend.

I am nervous about trying to make advances because I don't know if the feelings are mutual or how she views our age difference. I don't want to risk ruining our friendship. I just know that my heart skips a few beats when our eyes meet or our fingers accidently touch. I've realized these last few months that I'm falling hard for her, and I'm afraid to let her know. If I don't, however, my feelings are going to eat me alive. What should I do? -- FALLING FOR HER IN KANSAS

DEAR FALLING: Ask your best friend (and co-worker) to join you for a casual lunch or dinner. Keep it light but tell her how much you enjoy her company and ask if the age difference between you bothers her. If the answer is no, explain that you care very much for her and wonder if she'd be open to the idea of dating you.

If she says yes, and there are rules at your job that discourage "fraternizing," you may have to find another place to work. If she responds that dating would be awkward, let her know you will always be her friend because you think she is special.