DEAR ABBY: Every year like clockwork, we receive a holiday card from friends, which the wife addresses only to my husband. It is always a jolly card filled with their family adventures and achievements for the year, and it invariably leaves me wondering why she thinks it's OK to leave me off the envelope. My husband and I have been together for more than 20 years. She knows I exist. We have met. I went to her wedding. Our husbands are dear friends.
Last year, my husband finally mentioned to his friend how much it hurts my feelings to be left off the card. He seemed surprised his wife did that, but said he'd fix it before the next cards went out. I was excited at the thought of her changing her rude ways when their next card arrived. But, like every year before, I was left out again.
This really bothers me. I have felt left out enough times in my life, and it stings at the core. I feel like she is a grown-up mean girl, and I can't figure out why she would intentionally not include me. Part of me wants to send a card to everyone in her family and leave her name off. What do you think? -- LEFT OFF IN WYOMING
DEAR LEFT OFF: I think that, because expecting your husband to intercede for you didn't work, it's time to pick up the phone. Tell this clueless woman your first (and last) name and ask her why she seems unable to address her greeting cards so they include you as well as your spouse. If, after that, she continues to "forget," you will know beyond a doubt that she's not only clueless but classless, and avoid whatever exposure you must have with her as often as possible.