DEAR ABBY: When my lifelong friend "Cheryl" and I would talk once a week to catch up with each other's lives, she'd describe her other friends' woes in a really animated way, including a loud voice and extremely vulgar words about those friends. She even talked about her recently departed mother this way. Her mother had not been part of her life for more than 50 years, but when she reentered the scene, she had developed dementia. Her mom's habit of vulgar talk was probably where Cheryl picked it up.
The funny thing is, when we talk in person, Cheryl doesn't do it. It's only on the phone. I recently had a falling-out with an elderly friend, "Louise," over a similar situation, but it was politically fueled. Louise would call me, inebriated, shouting nasty stuff about my political stance. I finally hung up and blocked her on the phone. Louise is 78 and an admitted alcoholic. Cheryl and I are not; we are in our mid-60s.
I decided to text Cheryl, asking her not to use such vulgar language when we talk because it upsets me. I grew up with a father who cursed and yelled a lot, and I vowed not to talk that way. I'm not a prude. Talking with these two women triggered memories of younger years. Cheryl has now ghosted me. My text wasn't mean or brutal. Is there anything I can say to her to get my friend back, or am I blocked forever? -- OVER AND OUT IN OHIO
DEAR OVER: Because you couldn't handle Cheryl's language, you were right to tell her how it made you feel and why. As long as she's blocking you, there is nothing you can say that will get through. Perhaps it is just as well. In my view, folks who ridicule others are really not very nice at all.