DEAR ABBY: I was with the same man for 36 years, but I divorced him three years ago because of his gambling problems. We came to this country 27 years ago, and ever since then I have been working and providing for us. He never paid any bills. He was very controlling and pretty much did whatever he pleased. I guess I was so busy trying to make a better life for our son, I didn't realize how bad it was.
Our son is now 33. There is no relationship between them. He refuses to talk to his father. We were divorced but still living together, and he was giving me only $500 a month (he's a truck driver). When I got breast cancer two years ago, he was so mean to me after my first chemo that I had to tell him to leave. We weren't in contact for almost a year until he saw me one day in a store (I had no hair and had gained 45 pounds). He looked shocked and started crying. Since then, we are talking, and he wants to come back. My son is against it. He thinks his dad just wants a safe haven. We are from the same hometown, and it's hard not to have people gossip. I survived cancer, but this is confusing, and I don't know what to do. Deep down, I know he will never change, but ... -- STAY OR GO IN FLORIDA
DEAR STAY OR GO: Your ex-husband abandoned you while you were in treatment for cancer. Please, for your own sake, listen to your son. He is giving you good advice. Rather than preoccupy yourself with what people from your old hometown might say, live in the here and now. Remind yourself why you divorced your husband. He was controlling, was a problem gambler, didn't contribute financially and did whatever he pleased without regard to you. Cherish and nurture relationships that are mutual, and you will be much happier.