DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are blessed with a 6-month-old son, "Tyler." I'm now back at work three days a week. My mother and my mother-in-law offered to watch him one day a week, which we were grateful for. (I found a babysitter for the third day.)

I give my mom and my MIL gift cards to their favorite restaurants because each is giving up a day per week for us. My mom is very active and quite a bit younger than my MIL. Mom stays home with Tyler on the day she watches him (no errands, etc.).

I asked my MIL if, on the day she watches Tyler, she can also stay home and not drive around to the library, grocery store and retail stores. I explained it interrupts the baby's nap schedule, and, because she isn't as physically in shape as my mom, it worries me how she's wrangling the car seat, stroller, etc. She promised she'd just stay home and care for him and play with him.

Well, Abby, she completely ignored me. I came to pick him up, and she was not even home. I was furious because this isn't the only time I have caught her running all over town with my infant. My husband also has asked her to stay put for one day out of the week. The last time I picked up Tyler, I said, "If you can't stay home, we need to change this arrangement." Now my husband's side of the family is upset with me and thinks I was too harsh. What do you think? -- NEW MOM IN MISSOURI

DEAR MOM: I think that because your mother-in-law ignores your instructions about not taking your baby with her while running errands, that you need to find someone else to take care of him on the days she used to do it. This is not being "too harsh," it is protecting your little one. (No one said motherhood is easy.)

DEAR ABBY: I have a friend who is an accomplished cook. I am not. She's very generous and shares her efforts often, but anytime I have given her some of my better efforts, she has given me feedback like, "Adding some onion would really help this" or "Wow, you didn't skimp on the chili powder!"

I finally decided to reciprocate by inviting her to lunches out. Now it's, "This sauce tastes like it came out of a bottle, mine is much better" or "I tweaked my sister's recipe for this dish; I should give it to the chef." Frankly, I'm tired of her estimation of her talents. I never killed anybody with my cooking, and her remarks when we're at a restaurant diminish my enjoyment. Any nice way to get her to simmer down? -- OUTDONE IN TEXAS

DEAR OUTDONE: I wonder if your friend's culinary talents are her only claim to fame. When she is critical of the food at the restaurants to which you take her, smile and say quietly, "Picky aren't we today? I think this is delicious!" It would be better than saying nothing and having a bad taste in your mouth.

DEAR ABBY: I was married for 20 years to a man who slowly isolated me from friends and family until I had no one but him to rely on. Now 49 and divorced, I am without close friends. For the last two years, I've been actively trying to build connections. I go to church and volunteer, rent a plot at the community garden to meet other gardeners, attend events at the local library, chat with vendors at the farmers market and know all my neighbors by name. People are friendly, and I'm well liked, but I am still alone every Friday night.

It seems like everyone I meet is either too busy or too wrapped up in their own lives to make room for a new friend. If this were just happening to me, I'd chalk it up to my age or stage in life. But my sons, who are 18 and 20, are struggling to find meaningful friendships too. Is this just how the world is now? Where have all the friendships gone? -- FRIENDLESS IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR FRIENDLESS: Bear in mind that friendships are usually built over time and common interest. Have you tried inviting any of these church or gardening acquaintances over on a weekend night? Have you discussed this with your religious adviser? If you haven't, that's what I would recommend.

As to your sons and their socialization problem, assuming they are continuing their education, suggest they become active in sports or special interest clubs on campus. If that fails, they should talk to a counselor and ask how they can better integrate themselves into the student body.

DEAR ABBY: Whenever my partner and I share errands or tasks, he never fails to comment on how much time and effort each of us puts into the project. He says things like, "You said it would only be an hour, but you took an hour and a half," or, "You said you'd take a five-minute break and you took a half-hour." When I respond, he replies, "I'm not complaining about it. I'm just telling you." When I get upset, he accuses me of "getting defensive" or says he "doesn't like how I'm treating him because he doesn't treat me that way."

Why do you think he feels it's OK to make seemingly negative comments about my efforts and then tell me "it is no big deal" or he is "just making an observation"? How should I respond to his evaluations of me? -- DOING MY BEST IN ILLINOIS

DEAR DOING: My goodness. It almost seems like your partner never leaves the house without his stopwatch. The next time he does it, your response should be, "That's it. Now I'M making an observation. What you're doing IS a big deal. It is passive-aggressive. We need couples counseling NOW because it could ruin our relationship." Then schedule an appointment and, if your partner refuses to go with you, go alone, because when you do, you will gain insight.

DEAR ABBY: I've been happily married for 31 years. I love my wife, but we are now more like roommates or friends than the lovers we were initially. We are also not soulmates. We both agree that few couples are.

But I met my soulmate three years ago. The initial chemistry was amazing, and we have been "dating" ever since. I put "dating" in quotes because nothing physical has happened, not even holding hands. But we have intense primal eye contact and amazing discussions. We can talk for hours, well past when it is time to leave. I have never experienced a friendship like this. I know it is not infatuation or a midlife crisis. The chemistry is there. I have never cheated on my wife, and I don't want to. It's not who I am. I don't want to hurt anyone. But something has to give.

The ethical answer, of course, is to maintain the status quo, but I'm not convinced that maximizes happiness for all parties, and certainly not for me. At 60, I know I will feel intense regret if I let my soulmate go, and likewise if I leave my wife. I live with the torture of this dilemma every day. Do you have any insight? -- PERPLEXED IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR PERPLEXED: I am sorry you didn't mention whether your "soulmate" is also married, or how she feels about you. How does your wife feel about the fact that you are having these intense, hourslong conversations with another woman? Does she even know?

You stated that you are happily married and love your wife. A logical way to figure out what you want for your future would be to ask your wife to join you in consulting a licensed marriage and family therapist to help you figure out how (and whether) you can rekindle what originally brought you two together.

DEAR ABBY: Our 40-year-old son has become a full-fledged narcissist and blames us (his sister, her husband, my husband and me) for a family schism that has gone on for two years. He tells lies about us and keeps us from our granddaughter. Any attempt to contact him has been met with venomous, foul-mouthed texts in return.

Our son went through a nasty divorce and horrible custody proceeding, but we did our best to support him financially and emotionally during that time. He is now supposedly happily remarried, but he continues to deny us access to his daughter. We are heartbroken. This is not the way we raised him. Any suggestions? -- BAFFLED IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR BAFFLED: You stated that your son is "supposedly happily remarried." Could his new wife have had something to do with this schism? Unless your son had a psychotic break after his divorce and, in his delusions, thinks you, your husband, his sister and her husband are to blame for everything going wrong, something has definitely changed. Family counseling might help to heal the breach, but only if he agrees there is a need for it.