DEAR ABBY: My husband and I have been married 33 years, but the last 10 years have been extremely difficult. His attitude and selfishness during that time led me to strongly resent him.

He's now telling me he has changed and things will be different, that I am important to him and he will consider my thoughts, feelings, wants and needs going forward. The problem I'm having is, he didn't decide this until I finally had enough and moved out.

How do I decide what is best for me? I love him, and at his core he is a good person, but sometimes I feel like there's too much water under the bridge. -- JUST NOT SURE IN ILLINOIS

DEAR JUST NOT SURE: For a leopard to change his spots takes effort. It doesn't happen overnight. Do not go back to your husband before the two of you have had counseling with a licensed marriage and family therapist for one year. If, after that, he has proven that he's capable of change, you can decide then whether there has been too much water under the bridge or you feel safe living with him again.

DEAR ABBY: I had an accident and have been in a walking boot for a few weeks with several more to go. This has happened before, unfortunately. I am regularly annoyed by strangers who feel compelled to comment about the boot -- "Oh, did you kick someone?" or "Hey, what happened?" I don't think I owe a stranger an explanation of the state of my body. It's none of their business.

First, please remind your readers that this behavior is intrusive and rude. Second, what is an appropriate response to these insensitive people? I have gone from light jokes -- "You should have seen the sidewalk when I got through with it!" -- to ignoring them. Nothing seems to shut it down. -- HOBBLED IN GEORGIA

DEAR HOBBLED: If you think you're alone in being subjected to this annoyance, think again. People are curious, and some have little or no filter. None of them are actively trying to be offensive. Because nothing seems to shut it down, hang on to your sense of humor. Your light joke is upbeat and clever. My advice is to stick to it.

DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are staying with my in-laws while our house undergoes renovations. It's day three now, and I heard my father-in-law sneak another woman into the basement last night while everyone was asleep. Do I say something and risk getting kicked out or starting a family war? (He's the sole earner, and it's his house.) Or do I bite my tongue and keep this information to myself? -- SAW TOO MUCH

DEAR SAW TOO MUCH: Although you may have heard it, you didn't actually see anything. Chalk it up to having had a nightmare and remain silent, at least until you are out from under your in-laws' roof.

DEAR ABBY: My oldest sister has it in her head that since she's home all week, she needs to go out every Sunday. She started calling me every Saturday to invite me to accompany her, which I did a few times. In doing so, I realized she has mobility issues and the beginnings of dementia. She wants to go to these certain places where we would always go. Other friends and family members used to accompany her, but no longer do for liability reasons. Hence the reason she turned to me. Apparently, she refuses to accept her limitations.

My sister should use a walker and no longer be driving but does both. I am afraid and concerned. She keeps calling me every weekend, and I've already run out of excuses. I feel terrible about this and don't know how to handle the situation. I desperately need some advice. She obviously doesn't get the hints. -- DESPERATE SIS IN CALIFORNIA

DEAR SIS: Stop hinting. Talk to your other relatives about what to do if, as your sister's dementia increases, someone has to take her car away. That she wants to get out of the house on weekends isn't surprising, considering the fact that she's cooped up there all week. Contact your nearest senior center and inquire about supervised activities for seniors and transportation options for people with disabilities.

Folks with memory issues also have been known to get on the highway intending to drive to Sacramento only to wind up in San Diego because they lost their sense of direction or misremembered their destination. If necessary, because your sister could be a danger to herself and others on the road, send a letter to the DMV.

DEAR ABBY: My best friend "Troy" and I hang out all the time. We do everything together, and people often mistake us for a couple. Troy wouldn't correct people until I said something, but since then, I noticed how it started feeling more like a relationship. We don't hold hands or kiss, but he asks me what I'm doing, who I'm with and things like that when he's not around.

Every time we're on the phone we say "I love you" to each other before hanging up. I have feelings for him. He says he doesn't have the same for me, but he's the one who is making it feel like it's a relationship. I have asked him to stop because it's confusing, but it only lasts for a little bit before we are right back to it. I can't tell if he wants a relationship but just not with me, or if he doesn't know for sure how he feels about me. What can I do about this? Can you help? -- MIXED UP IN MONTANA

DEAR MIXED UP: You have made clear that you want a relationship with Troy. He has stated plainly that he doesn't have romantic feelings for you. True, he enjoys your company and tells you he loves you, but he doesn't hold hands or kiss you. Most importantly, he DOESN'T say he is IN love with you. Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about this. If you are looking for a boyfriend, Troy is not it. You appear to be firmly in the friend zone. You have my sympathy.

DEAR ABBY: When my first wife and I were in our early 20s, she left me for another man. It was difficult, but I worked through it, learned to trust again and remarried a few years later.

This may be hard to believe, but 46 years later, my ex-wife thought it would be a good idea to try to connect through social media. I knew how to find her if I wanted to, but I had no desire to relive that memory. I made the mistake of replying that I didn't think it was a good idea to connect.

Unfortunately, that response led to her trying to explain why things happened in the past. It seems she didn't realize that once you dump someone, you forgo the right to be friends, regardless of how long ago it has been. Her explanation brought back much of the pain I felt so long ago.

Please let your readers know that once you divorce, it is over forever, so hopefully they won't have to deal with this like I have. -- DISAPPOINTED IN THE EAST

DEAR DISAPPOINTED: I am passing along your message. However, some people can't just move on with their lives after a divorce because they are tied together by their children. What your first wife may have wanted was forgiveness from you, or help in forgiving herself, but you were not obligated to relieve her of her guilt. I'm glad you have firmly closed that unhappy chapter in your life. Now, go on. Live your life and don't look back.

DEAR ABBY: My husband constantly tells me everything I do is wrong. He was in the Army for 23 years. We have been together for five years but married for only 2 1/2 of them.

When I try to cook, he tells me that's not the way to do it. I used to love cooking, but now I hate it, so I quit trying, although I still cook whenever he's gone. He is the only one of us with an income, but he said he doesn't want me working because of my health problems. He had a quadruple bypass six months ago and it changed him for the worse. His recovery was remarkable, but he began drinking. He no longer talks to me -- he yells and argues from the time I get up until I go to bed.

I'm at the end of my rope and not sure what to do. I love him, but I can't live like this anymore. Please give me some ideas on what to do. -- HURTING IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR HURTING: Start looking for a job. It may give you a degree of independence and get you out of the house. Your husband was already controlling before his surgery, and you need space to breathe. If his emotional abuse continues contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) and describe what has been going on. Although you love your husband, you may have to decide if you can remain with the status quo.

DEAR READERS: I wish a very Happy Mother's Day to mothers everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren, as well as dual-role dads. Orchids to all of you for the love you give not only today, but each and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY